Talk To Me Tuesdays 6-05-2007

Ok, for those of you who missed it, I decided to last week to allow visitors the opportunity to start topics they would like to see discussed on this blog by leaving comments here every Tuesday. We had a few great conversations last week but I am hoping for even more activity this week. Remember, this is your chance to say what ever is on your mind. You can vent, use the opportunity to get to know your fellow posters, ask questions, make suggestions- it’s all up to you- just say something.

I have always been a fan of stimulating conversation and judging from the activity several of the posts made here last week generated, I would say I am not the only one. It seems this site is frequented by some very intelligent men and women, so we shouldn’t have any problem making this post bigger and better than the one we had last week.


  1. There was quite a bit of talk last week about interracial relationships and Black women dating men of other races. I wonder though how many, if any of you have ever dated men of other races and what were your experiences? Were they any different than Black men and if so how?

  2. Hi Stella

    I have never dated interracially even though the opportunity to do so did arise several years back. Today I am temporarily off the market but when I do throw my hat back into the dating arena Black men will be my first choice, but not my only option. Should I not find a compatible mate within my own race I have no problems looking elsewhere.

    For those looking to possibly make that change, I think it would be foolish to assume any man of any other race will be much different than Black men. By that I mean in terms of men just being men. All men are basically the same in many respects. White and other races of men won’t bring instantaneous happiness. They will simply expand your dating pool and chances of finding that Mr Right.

  3. Hey Stephanie. I was wondering if we could get some more topics on Alicia Keys. I love her!! Aside from her movie (that didn’t do too well) she’s been laying pretty low. Also I recently got married and every one is expecting me to have kids soon πŸ™„ I have always been afraid of child birth. I wanted to know if you have any children and is it really that bad? :confused:

  4. Sorry wrong topic….Interracial dating I think its a beautiful thing, we should not limit ourselves to who we fall in love, you mat deprive yourself of a divine experience.

  5. Men are men. It really is that simple. If a man respects you, loves you, enjoys your company and conversation and recognizes that you are an individual regardless of background, then you have a good man. Race should not be a factor for love, IMO.

    I’ve dated outside of my race, but I just happened to fall in love with and marry a black man. I had the same experiences dating a white guy as I did dating a black guy – good. Because I only allowed positive people in my life, I only dated positive men and long ago recognized that a good man is a good man regardless of his race.

  6. Stella I currently have a white boyfriend but I do not limit myself to anyone. I’ve dated asian, black, white, latino… I don’t really have a preference when it comes to looks. I just love men… PERIOD. πŸ™‚

    Stephanie had a great point. Dating outside of your race does not guarantee success. It just give you more options. I have met :booty: -holes from every race. lol Seriously though, if you want to ask me questions one-on-one about my experiences, I’ll be happy to talk to you.

  7. Liyah, I am blessed with 3 great kids! I won’t lie to you that my experiences with natural childbirth were easy, because it HURT LIKE H*LL! (though I did have an epidural for the last one and it was wonderful!) πŸ˜†

    But don’t let that discourage you from having kids when you are ready. My kids and hubby motivate me to be my best and truly enjoy this life I’m living.

  8. Have any of you heard Lauryn Hill’s new song “Lose Myself”? It’s off the soundtrack Surf’s Up. I’m glad to hear something new from her.

  9. Thanks Prettypartaker. I have always wanted two kids and I definatley want an epidural, I really don’t see how ANYONE has natural childbirth. Kudos to you b/c I sure couldn’t do it. I hope I am not getting too personal but I heard alot about 2nd and 3rd degree tearing also :confused: . What about that?

  10. I have! I’ve dated white, Spanish, and black.

    THEY ALL ARE THE SAME! I just happened to date guys who have dated outside their race in the past so it wasn’t too crazy for them or our families. But in all (Blessed I am to not have Drama) I didn’t have a problem and those relationships were a learning experience that made me a better person for my man now!

    I seen a show the other day that said if someone of another race ask you out and the only thing that’s stopping you is there race, then find another excuse. That should not be an issue. :iagree:

    PrettyParker!!!!! I so ADMIRE YOU GIRL!

    You have 3!!! Girl God has blessed you. I’ve ended up with a black man too. Not married but AS YOU KNOW, I’m good – Right now!! LOL

    I tried doing the Water Birth!! GIRL those contractions kicked my butt. My man was like Oh no, please babe let me get the anesthesiologist in here! CTFU! So I took drugs and I didn’t feel a thing from there. I was only in labor 3-4 hours.

    But No more for ME!!!!!

  11. [quote comment=”8183″] My man was like Oh no, please babe let me get the anesthesiologist in here! [/quote]

    S. Dot, girl you have me over here cracking up! :lol2:

    And you’re right – if all that is stopping a sista from going on a date with a decent man is his race, then she needs to find another excuse!

  12. I am expecting my very first child in October and I am getting married in August. I must say this is an experience no one can quite prepare you for, but GOD!!! I am scarred out of my mind, but deep down I think I can do it. I am NOT, having my son natural though… :noway: !!!!

  13. Hi,

    I stop by this blog regularly and like what i got to read.

    An interresting subjet (for me!) : Massive use of Photoshop in the media system (with photos of celebrities : with and without) (everybody can start to thanks the Great BeyoncΓ©… and probably the Very Cute Kelly Rowland too πŸ˜† ).

    And IMPACT on brownsistas… knowing that however the Photoshop trick is ALWAYS used by EVERYBODY, it was used to enhance not to tranform since lately. Am i wrong ?

  14. Hey Liyah- Alicia has been very quiet lately. I do have new pics of her though that I will post for you.

    I also have children, 3 beautiful littlle ones you can see here .

    I won’t lie to you, it will hurt but with my last two I was administered an epidural and it was heaven. I felt no pain at all. An epidural is a life saver and were I to have any more children I would want to be as drugged up as medically possible πŸ˜†

  15. For those who dated White males, what was the intimacy like? We have all heard rumors and stereotypes. Are they true or did it vary from man to man? Also did the guys you date only date Black women or did they date all races?

  16. HEY STEPHANIE! CUTE KIDS!! :thumbsup:



  17. Steph your children are beautiful. Thanks for the info. Would you encourage a C-section?

  18. Hmmm… are they giving women the option of having cesarean sections these days? When I last had a child- ten years ago- that wasn’t an option. C-sections were only performed when medically necessary.

  19. πŸ˜† Yeah it is an option now. Isn’t it crazy how things change. But my older sister had one and she told me I better not do it unless totally necessary. Taken from the horses mouth, I think I’ll listen πŸ˜€

  20. Wow … I’m shocked when I had my daughter 8 years ago, C- Section’s were done only when needed. I had natural birth with NO epidural. Every women can’t have an epidural. In my case, I have scoliosis which is a curve in the spine, the Doc told me there was a 50/50 chance I would be paralized if i took that epidural. I dealt with the pain. Till this day my Beautiful daughter is a ONLY child. Having a child is Beautiful & a gift from God. But no more kids for me. :noway:

  21. Stephanie your kids are sooo BEAUTIFUL! OMG!!! You need to be proud!!! Congrats!

    Yolanda, I’m going to tell you what my mom told me! “We are Women and We were Meant and Built for Childbirth” You will be fine! Hopefully you will have a quick delivery and have you pride and joy right in front of you in no time.

    Jersey Girl, To me it was a little different on the intimate tip. Only because I was nervous. But in all he was a good guy and out time spent will always be special to me.

    Fine -N- Mellow, Your story is like WOW!!! I can’t imagine now having drugs when I gave birth. You’re a true solder! Congrats on a safe delivery and I know you were sooo happy to see that Beautiful pride and joy when it was all said and done!

    You ladies are truly inspirational!!! πŸ™‚

  22. @jersey_girl

    the white guys i dated had dated outside of their race before. the guy i’m with now never had a serious girlfriend that was black so there are a lot of things that i had to explain to him (i.e. weaves, why i wear a scarf to bed, why wetting my hair in the shower is a no-no lol, cultural things, slang). however, the latino and asian guys i dated only dated black women so they knew what was up.

    as far as the myth goes, it is just that. i’ve been with rather large white guys and some that weren’t so big. the difference is when white men are flacid they are much smaller than black men. black men usually don’t grow much from when they are flacid to when they are erect. i know TMI but you asked! πŸ˜›

    as far as how i feel after having sex with any of my boyfriends :dance2: (regardless of race! b/c if you were a dud in bed you never made it to “man” status)….

  23. I feel so dierty asking these question. But I’m going to ask anyway :lol2: Is the “oral” rumor true :confused:

  24. [quote comment=”8247″]I feel so dierty asking these question. But I’m going to ask anyway :lol2: Is the “oral” rumor true :confused:[/quote]
    That there the best!!!??? You know what in my case YES!!! πŸ™‚

  25. I fully expect to catch heat for this but I find both White and Latino men to be more affectionate and in tune to the needs of women. Black men are very self serving and only look to be pleased. This is why many of them do not perform oral on a woman but want it done to them. White and Latino men however live to go down on women because the recognize the true power of being able to sexually please a woman. A man who can please a woman will never be alone cause women will always seek them out. These men don’t need to make booty calls. Women stay calling them :koolaid:

  26. What do you think about the Latin girls in Hollywood? Are they more or less famous than african american girls?

  27. OK, I have had many friends outside of my race my entire life, so naturally I have no problem with dating men of other races. In fact, I actually am more attracted to men of other racial backgrounds than black men. Don’t get me wrong, I love black men and find many very attractive, but that’s usually where it ends. Before anyone decides to start yelling let me first say… Yes I have dated black men and loved them to death! The guys I usually end up really attracted to just aren’t usually black (my first crush as a kid of about 5 was a little Italian boy), so as you can see it’s just me. I don’t date outside my race for superficial reasons, if I like you, I like you, no matter what race you are…that’s it!

    To answer the questions about the “myths,” in all cases it depends on the man, just like with anyting else. But I will say, my current “man” who happens to be white is great and loves to please (I mean hours and hours of pleasure… sorry I know TMI)! My question though, for the girls who have dated outside their race: How did you explain the hair scarf at night ritual? Is there anything else out there that keeps the hair tamed while sleeping? The problem is he likes to rub my hair at night… Sorry so long, but HELP PLEASE!!!!

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