This topic is one that has always touched a nerve with me every since I noticed that light skin and dark skin women not only had a competitive wedge driven between them but were instructed from the time they are young girls to be that way. Recently Tameka Foster (Usher’s Ex-wife) wrote a piece for the Huffington Post titled “Pretty For A Dark Skin Girl”. In this piece she reflects on her experiences as a darker skin African American female and how at times she felt that she was not pretty or did not measure up to the beauty that light skin African American females had. There are deeper issues at hand in this piece. One being that in the African American culture light skin and dark skin girls are conditioned to be competitive towards each other and to have an inherent negative outlook towards the other. The stereotype is that light skin girls believe that they are more attractive than their darker counterparts. It is also believed that light skinned girls are treated better, receive more attention from men etc. Light skin girls are also thought to be stuck-up. While the darker skin girls are thought to not be as pretty and to be envious of another chicks golden complexion. These and many other stereotypes is where the competition between women takes an even uglier route. Not only am I competing with you because you are another female I am also competing with you because you are lighter than or darker than me.
This progresses into people dating a certain complexion because they feel that this is what is acceptable. With that being said, I want to take a minute to dissect preference versus stupidity. There is nothing wrong with having a preference for light skin girls. I prefer darker skin men so I understand a preference. It becomes stupidity when you purposely only date light skin women/men and when you deem the darker skin ones less attractive simply because of a complexion. The sad part is there are a lot of women and men who are hopelessly searching for a partner but may never find them because he or she does not meet their complexion requirements.
What disturbs me is that darker skin little girls grow up and feel self hatred towards themselves and their light skin counterparts because they might feel men never treated them as well as they treated light skin women, or simply because in the urban society they are not regarded as being as beautiful as a light skin women. We see this being played out in Hip-Hop videos daily. The lighter skinned girls and bi-racial girls receive more camera time. I have even been told by men that I think I look good because I’m yellow. One guy told me that he was only dating me because I was light skin. How about, I think I look good because I should feel good about myself and not wait for someone else to validate my beauty? Or, you are dating me because you like me for me no matter the complexion.
It perturbs me when darker women assume the worst about a lighter skin female as far as her personality or attitude before they even have the chance to meet her or speak with her. I have even experienced hostility from darker skin women and not just darker skin women but the ones who society has deemed as less attractive. Your complexion should not be the reason why you feel you are less or more attractive. I know that there are some lighter skin women who live up to that stereotype of being stuck up as there are darker skinned women who are equally stuck up, so it can go either way. The truth of the matter is that if you have a nasty disposition then you have a nasty disposition. It boils down to being happy with you and confident in you enough to not compare yourself to another. I just want to remind the women out there that you have a choice. You have a choice to not compete with any woman and to not make another woman feel less than especially for something as foolish as skin complexion. Lastly, please let no one give you a reason to dislike another woman. This battle is a tool to keep us separated. You also have a choice to not prejudge a women you meet based on her skin tone. There, the “battle” is over. Your thoughts?
For More Go To my site www.yeahshesaidit.com