The Best Revenge

This is a personal story, but I am sure most women can relate. A story that I had heard many times over the years, but have managed to keep it out of my life until…

Ladies… what do you do when there is someone in your life that you just cannot stand? You know this person is bad for you, yet you can’t seem to leave them alone. I never even knew that was possible, until it happened to me. I had developed what I thought was a “friendship” with this dude, and I knew he wasn’t “right”. He was certainly beneath me. He was classless, not very attractive, and lacking in the intelligence department. He frequently frustrated me, yet I couldn’t stop talking to him.


I consider myself friendly, and able to get along with anyone, so I was sure I could make it work with him. Then he asked me for a watch. I take a lot. I put up with a lot. I will do most anything for anyone, but a man asking for money… that is a no, no. I tried to let it slide, but he wouldn’t let it go. Then came the threat: “Well, another girl said she’d buy it for me, but I have to stop talking to you for a month.” I don’t do threats. I told him where he and that watch could go. That was that.

Then several weeks later, I started to miss him. I was caught completely off guard by this… so were my friends. He had been our joke. He thought he was going to “punk” me into buying him something that he should have been able to buy himself. I honestly didn’t think he’d be able to give me up. I guess we both grossly overestimated the importance we held in each other’s life. Then one day it hit me… this dude seriously treated me badly. I couldn’t let him just think that he’d won. I did something I have never done before… I sent him a text, and told him ALL about himself. Things I would never say to another person, because it is so not my character. I was very unchristian. I was disappointed in myself, but it felt good. Real good. I got it all off of my chest, and I was ready to move on with my new love.

Then here he comes again… Nine hours later! He has some girl call and text my phone… Really? Nine hours later! It was so silly and childish, it made me laugh. I hate to admit it, but I responded, he wasn’t about to get the last word. Then I let it go. I prayed about it… and let it go. Then thirteen hours later… he comes again! I’ve let him go… he doesn’t want me in his life, and I certainly don’t want him in mine. Yet, I feel the need to respond to his foolishness. I don’t care about him. I can do better… we all can, yet he is getting under my skin. I had to ask myself why? My new love had the same question. This isn’t good. Then I had the epiphany. This isn’t about him, he’s nothing, and no one cares what he thinks. It’s about me. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him to have the last word; it’s that I wanted the last word. I’d given too much to a relationship that didn’t work. A relationship that was beneath me in every way! I was going to regain some of the heartache I went thru by having what I thought was the last word.

Then I remembered things I’ve said to many friends over the years, sometimes not responding is the last word. Moving on is the last word. Forgiving is the last word. Forgive. Forget. Learn. Move on. I wasn’t doing that by going back and forth with this “man”. With each ridiculous text I responded too, I was losing more of my peace. He wasn’t worth a dime to me; he definitely wasn’t worth my peace of mind. So, ladies I say all of this to say to you… Don’t waste time arguing with an idiot. When you argue with him, you lose your control. It doesn’t matter that he hurt you. It doesn’t matter what he says. It doesn’t matter what he did, or what you regret you allowed him to do. The only thing that matters is what you do from this second forward. When you give time to an idiot, you become an idiot yourself. Living well is the best revenge you can have. Be thankful he moved himself, so the right man can come and fill that slot. Be thankful, because your life just improved 100%… I know mine did!

3 Comments

  1. I’m glad you found out he was a user before he took you to the cleaners.

  2. Bum ass black men try this trick all the time. Forever looking for a woman to lace them with jewelry and pay their cellphone bills.

    I would have never responded to him. Not really ticks them off. Your non response would have been far more powerful than going tit for tat with him.

    The back and forth shows him you still care, that he can still get to you. A non response would have shown him that you didn’t give two shits, not even enough to respond.

  3. Well I can’t say that the last couple of imposters/bums that I knew got me for any real money…maybe $20-50 BUT the 3-6 months that I wasted on them was of far more value to me.

    And YES you are definitely right!!! I ALWAYS use silence as my last word with anybody that I’m done with. In the case of men that I’m done with…I cut them off so bad it is like they never existed. All of the their dumb voice mail messages and stupid texts get IGNORED. Never let them bait you into going back and forth with them. It is the best revenge. TRUST

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