The Power of Forgiveness

Have you ever been so angry at someone, you literally saw spots? So angry you couldn’t function? I, personally, have never been that upset with anyone. I’ve been angry, but for me, anger was fleeting. It only lasted a day or so.


I recently had a gentleman friend treat me so badly, I became angry. Me. It was foreign to me. When things have gone wrong in the past it has always made me sad. It has always caused me to look inwardly to see what it is that I did to make things bad. It has caused me to see, and do whatever I could to try to fix it. I went to him. I tried to find what it was that I did to upset him. He refused to tell me. I became enraged. My face was red. I could feel my blood pressure rising. I didn’t know what was happening. Why wasn’t I crying? I’m normally crying by now because of sadness. What was this feeling? I literally felt hate in my heart for this man. How could this be? I am a Christian. I am known for my giving spirit, and my forgiving nature. How could I let hatred into my heart? Not only is it a sin, but a complete waste of time and energy.

People tend to think hate is the opposite of love. It isn’t. Indifference is. When you have hate for someone, you still feel something. When you are indifferent that person has no meaning to you at all. Indifference hurts. I saw on a program once that revenge may be the ultimate compliment. It means someone has affected your life so severely that you feel you must retort. They have caused so much damage to your life; you feel you must have the same effect on them. I wondered if hate had the same effect.

This feeling of anger, and hatred was consuming me. It took away not only my happiness, but my peace. I questioned God and His plan for me. This had gone TOO FAR. I prayed. I prayed. God please give me my peace back. No person is worth that. What if either of us died today… would I want this on my heart? Of course not. I want to give people their “flowers” while they’re here. I recently had a loved one pass, and I’d do anything to be able to tell them I love them once more. No matter what someone does to you, the anger, the rage, the hate, it affects YOU… not THEM. It isn’t worth it.

I’ve never liked the expression: “They are going on about their life, not thinking about you… you shouldn’t think about them.” I don’t really know how it would make you actually feel better, but I know carrying grief certainly will not. I didn’t feel better knowing that he didn’t care how hurt I was, but I felt worse knowing my pain was crippling me. I was no longer my happy go lucky self. I was angry, and I wanted everyone to know it, So for my sanity. For my peace of mind. For my joy & happiness I had to do something that has come naturally to me in the past. Something that for this person was very hard for me to give… forgiveness. He didn’t ask for it. He doesn’t care about it. He doesn’t want it. I give it freely. I give it honestly. I give it sincerely. As soon as I released that anger, and let the forgiveness flow into my heart… the pain went away. I felt better. Regardless of how things ended, for a brief period of time he was my friend. For a period of time, I cared for him. I choose not to remember the bad, I will not forget it, but I will not focus on it. I will forgive him because in the grand scheme of things this is a bad moment in great life. So, I say openly and publically, because I harbor nothing but love in my heart, I forgive you my “friend” with all that I have. I will keep nothing but love for you, and speak of you fondly, because as a human that is what you deserve. I give you your “flowers” now. I hope one day he will forgive me for whatever I did, but that is something he will have to deal with, and answer for… my part is done.

I say to my sisters that are holding on to anger from past loves, family members, or friends… let it go! Let it go. A day of anger and bitterness is too much. YOU deserve better, and as long as you hold on to the past, you will never move forward. Yes, they did you wrong, no doubt…but that means they do not deserve YOU. Let it go. I promise you, when you give that forgiveness, your spirit will change, and the happiness will flow. Let them deal with what they did, because at the end of the day, it is their problem…don’t let it be yours.


  1. Forgiveness is something i put my mind to working on for myself, and i feel like i have been able to achieve 70% of it. It is not hard. It is a sincere choice to make. To me now forgiveness is freedom. What you said about indifference is so true. Indifference is such a powerful state of mind to be. It can offensive even.

    Something happened to me this summer that made me realize what being my own woman is. if there is one thing i did this summer, its grow up. I’m so grateful, not for the circumstances surrounding the situation, but what the results are.

    Someone who has been part of my life for the past 2 years has this intense burning anger towards me based of something i did that i have no knowledge of…basically i cried for a while, i asked God too to show me what i could not see. I hid for a while too. But then quickly after that i decided to dissolve the issue by myself and never address it again. I started to live my life for me. Now the tables have turned. I forgave her but i will not go back. I let go in every sense of that word. and i feel that it still goes to the fact that you have to teach others how to treat you or else they wont know their boundaries.

  2. Baby i needed that so bad thank u!!!! I will never go back to him cause what he did me he cant undo so i pray an ask god to please help me getrid of that demon an the demons i am fighting. U all just dont know he made me never want to date a man ever ever again.. i am in so much pain that i have to get it out i ache like hell god give me strengh but i am goin to pray bout it. My reason for leaving verbal abuse thats one an the rest i keep to myself ok but when u find a condom somewhere it doesnt belong its over an thats a rap!!!!

  3. To the respondent above, I’m sorry about your troubles. I have also experienced many negative situations with men, and several have hurt me, but they didn’t break me. I am strong and confident now, but it took years to get to this point. Men often mistreat us because we allow it. So in the future, demand respect and you will receive it.
    Anyhow, Prayer is the most important action that you can do to rid your heart of hatred and negativity. I began to pray every day, several times a day, and my life has changed tremendously. I’m happy now and full of positivity. Often when I pray I feel a chilly sensation run throughout my body, so I know they Lord hears me and heals me.

  4. I definitely needed to read this TODAY! It’s a confirmation to something God placed on my heart only moments ago. As a Christian I have always been taught forgiveness and have always considered myself a forgiving person. However, this is something we need to constantly be reminded of. It can be hard especially when the person is undeserving in your sight but IT IS FOR YOU and to walk in unforgiveness, the Bible says, opens the door for EVERY EVIL WORK OF THE ENEMY! Definitely not worth it. With this situation I’m facing I need to be reminded hourly!

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