The Replacement Of Black Women

No Black Women Here Fellow blogger Clay Kane wrote an interesting piece on his site that got me to thinking about an article I started writing some months ago but eventually abandoned. Clay, in his article, wonders why there are so few Black women on the Billboard charts but quite a few White women who have what I like to call that Black Girl Flava? Now some time ago I predicted that the influx of White women into r&b music, with the help of Black male producers, would lead to the demise of Black women on the charts. And now that the chickens have essentially come home to roost, I think now is the perfect time to talk about why only Beyonce and Corrine Bailey Rae- who is biracial- are the only two so called Black women who have songs in the Hot 100.

Now the first thing we are going to have to do is realize that the replacement of Black women on the charts is linked to the replacement of Black women in other areas as well. And even though sistas many not be dominating the charts as we once did, women who sing, dance and basically have been taught to emulate us are. But I am getting a bit ahead of myself so let’s go back a bit.

The replacement of Black women in our community, via it radio, television or video is nothing new. Just think about BET which is only about 25 years. Like most Black stations it hired Black women. Naturally they were all fair, but they were at least Black. The new BET however seems to only hire Hispanic women. All the sistas have been replaced and as always- no one says a thing.

The music video is another place where you used to see Black women paired with Black men. This is natural right? Well apparently for us it is not which is why again, you see the once light-skin and occasional brown skin sista, has now been replaced with Hispanic, Asian and even White women. Don’t act like you didn’t notice the lack of sistas in recently released videos by Fabulous and Bobby Valentino.

Sad isn’t it?

Quick question. Why can’t black and brown skin men be paired with black and brown skinned women? Why does it seem the Black woman is seen as an un-natural choice to play the love interest of Black men in their videos?

Moving right along.

Print ads. I was browsing through Vibe some months ago and the hip hop clothing ads Typical Hip Hop Ad- No Black Women Here immediately popped out at me. What I noticed as always were displays of wealthy, formerly from the hood brothas, who had now made it. Making it as seen in these ads involve money, cars, a fabulous house- and a woman who doesn’t look a damn thing like the man in the ad or any woman in his family. Success as it is being sold to Black males does not include Black and brown females.

Diddy’s ads in particular are a clear indicator of this. The original ads for his Unforgivable fragrance showed him with not one but two women- one White the other Asian. Fame and success are once again linked to women who are not Black- and who doesn’t want all the trappings of fame and success?

Rap and R n’ B videos are nothing but visual dreams of the perfect Black man’s life and we- Black women- are almost always absent in that dream. We have been replaced.

This leads me right back to the absence of Black women on the charts but not their style and flava. Polow da Don Coon even bragged in King Magazine that he was the first to “Take White girls to Black clubs and give them that flava”. Black girl flava that is. He took them to the clubs to watch how the Black girls do it because history has show us time and time again, that White people who can emulate Black people will sell more records. Just ask Elvis and Eminem.

To keep the music thing going. Can anyone explain Amy addicted to heroin Winehouse to me? This toothless White woman has gotten ten times more press and attention on Black sites than India Arie and Heather Headley combined when they released their albums. Even an ugly White woman can get more support from Black folks than 2 dark skin Black sistas.

Yes I said it. The color issue. We never want to talk about it but we know it exists and Clay asked in his article as well if many sistas were being kept off the charts because of their brown and black coloring. I say hell yeah! and someone else seems to agree with me.

So until we can admit to ourselves that for years we have been replacing Black women with watered down multi-racial versions of other women we will never see and understand why Black women are disappearing from television, radio, print, video and everything else in between. There has always been a movement to devalue Blackness and Black women in particular. This move included exalting fair complected women to the heights of beauty in our communities. But here is the problem. Those women were only used because they resembled White women. But they are no longer needed as the real thing can now be had. So this is why not even being light skin is enough these days.

Ten years from now there won’t be another Beyonce. Just as Britney Spears (before she went psycho) was catapulted to fame because she could dance Black (Y’all didn’t fall for those Madonna comparisons did you? Even Britney herself admitted to cloning Janet) so shall other White artists male and female. But things always start with us. No one bats an eyelash when Black women are replaced and if Black women themselves complain they are accused of being jealous.

So sit back and let that rotate through your cerebellum for a bit. The truth hurts- but somebody has got to tell it.

116 Comments

  1. :iagree: Glad someone came out and said the damn thing!

    Though i think the light-skinned less-nubian featured (and i paraphrase from an article written about beyonce- it’s just polite way of saying, less black) sistas will always be around, just because they’re seen as being ‘exotic’ and if you’re not white, be exotic, they’re the only two genres of women accepted by western society. Latinos don’t get half as hard a time because of that. :brownsista:

  2. I agree with what was said, but there is just one problem. The problem is what is “Black” flavor to begin with. Black people and society have a way of putting us in a box and limiting us to only certain styles of music and mannerisms. So when we say fergie and gwen are trying to emulate that black flavor well then your putting all black women in a box and we all develope this certain mentality that there is such a thing as “acting black” or “dressing black”. This however is another discussion for another day.

    The reason why beyonce is successful is because she has a look that is marketable to whites. If beyonce was Kelly’s complexion would she be where she is now….maybe not. I remember Natasha from ANTM saying that she is the strongest model because she has a european look and the her look is what’s in and the european look is always gonna be in; and she is right. An artist like Amy crackhouse appeals to blacks and is easily accepted by whites whereas India Arie can’t crossover like an amy for obvious reasons.

    Another thing, girls like Fergie, gwen, nelly fertado are accepted by whites & Blacks. But for some reason girls like ciara and rhianna generate alot of hate from blacks on gossip blogs; and it is funny because Janet, madonna, gwen, ciara, nelly, rhianna, britnney, ect. are all in the same freakin boat. When gwen stefani had a post on CL, everyone was praising her and saying how creative she was and I brought up the fact that if she was Black it would be reverse; i brought up the point about her singing ability/talent and everyone just brushed it off. If it was Ciara is would be loads of hate but if it’s gwen it is tons of love. Black people seem to accept the ‘white’ pop artists more than the ‘blacks pop’ artists. I wish people would understand that with pop music as long as the music is Hip then you are a bonafide hit. With girls like fergie and gwen they make hip and catchy music that appeals to the hip hop/pop crowd + the fact that they are white, they have it easy.

  3. We were talking about this last year on Black Voices. As Blacks we are quick to let others use us and covet our style. We let Justin Timberlake use r&b music to hide from the fact that he was just a bland boy band member with Black writers and producers. We have done the same with the Fergies and eventually the Nicole Schessingers. All these women have the hip hop producers breaking their necks to give them that Black sound not because they are so great and special but because the producers know that working with them will bring them more fame and money. Look at all the Black producers now clamoring to help Britney Spears get back on top. Both Ne-Yo, Pharell and Timbaland have expressed a desire to rescue this poor white woman. No such attempts have ever been made to save the career of any Black woman. Colorism has also tainted the music to a point where I don’t think it can ever recover. Don’t expect to see another Whitney, Janet or Brandy anytime soon. The same way there is a sound the industry wants, there is a look too and as much as I support Beyonce, Rihanna and the rest, I still recognize that internal racism has played a role in their success. Does anyone remember the article Vibe wrote about this a few years back. They compared how Tweet and Ashanti were viewed when they entered the business and who got the bulk of attention. You see that today in artists like Mya and Amerie. Neither has had a significant hit in ages but still seem to garner quite a bit of exposure when they come out, while India.Arie puts out some beautiful and cool tunes that go unnoticed because she just doesn’t garner any attention from her own people.

  4. I hope we are not going to start blaming White folks because they are not the problem. When BET was Black owned they played the color game and when they were called on it they hired Big Lez who later went on to talk about how she was only hired because she was dark.

    Anyone remember back in the eighties when A Different World as accused of only hiring biracial and light-skinned actresses? Denise the star was biracial as was Whitley and Cree Summer. They then hired the dark-skinned girl who was studying to be a doctor.

    This dark light thing has been with us forever and we keep it going. Light-skinned Black females enjoy the privlege of being desired by Black men and so obviously they have been fine with these standards for years. But now as you said light ain’t right no more and Latina and White women are the new flavor of the day.

    I even remember back in the late nineties when Black videos had nothing but Asian girls in them? This has been in the making for a while now. The music industry is just one small part of it and we have nobody to blame but ourselves.

    I love your thoughts about Amy too cause I do not see her appeal to anyone Black or White but Black blogs sure do love her. They support White females at twice the rate they support Black females.

    Watch when Nicole Schlesinger’s solo album drops. Blacks going to be all over her with Black men leading the charge. She is already appearing on other Black peoples album. She too is being set up to be the new hot not Black singer but have that Black sound.

    Maybe this will get us to thinking but I doubt. We never see the train coming until it has run us over.

  5. I disagree to an extent. Because apart from Britney Spears, I can hardly think of one pure american white female. If a few other certain females look white its hardly their fault. And even they are subjected to racialism at times (Ask Mariah Carey). And one reason India Arie isn’t recieving as much attention as Amy Winehouse, coz racialism aside, Amy’s style and music are genuinly note worthy. India Arie is doing solid R&B but she yet has to make her niche like Alicia, Beyonce, Toni, Brandy before her. And really, I view it the other way, black/brown females have had it better recently. Alicia Keys and Beyonce are two of the biggest superstars nowadays and both are black. And Im sure when Brandy comes back huge, she will be a full fledge non-light skinned black superstar.
    While I love Kelly, its more than obvious that Beyonce has the “it” factor. Toni, Janet, Brandy, Alicia, Beyonce, Sade and so many more are some of the best in the industry. And I think its a compliment to the black community that everyone’s adopting what they’re doing.

    The only thing I agree with is yes, u dont see pure black, non-light skinned females in the videos. Sad.

  6. :iagree: Brilliant post. Especially about the videos. I made a comment on another site (Concrete Loop) about the lack of black women in the new Fabolous video and was promptly told by someone else to “shut the fuck up” 🙄 . Just because others refuse to acknowledge it, or want to shy away from the issue. It’s sad to see, I hate the fact that video directors seemingly support the “light is right” way of thinking. It’s almost like they are trying to imply that as soon as a black man becomes successful, a black woman isn’t good enough for him anymore.

    White people making “black” music is hardly a new thing. It’s an easy niche to exploit really, the right artist (Justin Timberlake is a great example, so is Fergie) that appeal to people from every race making generic RnB music and selling millions of albums. I can’t help but think if they were black, they would not be having the same level of success that they enjoy now.I can’t imagine white teenage girls picking up an India Arie CD.The Amy Winehouse thing…I bought her first album “Frank” back in 2004 and I can honestly say I loved it (this was when she didn’t look like a crackwhore). She came out with Back To Black with the whole new image, the massive hair, tiny figure and the media fell in love with her.

  7. It is not a compliment when you get pushed out and a certain type of Black female has been getting pushed out of music every since the video age began. Truthfully Janet Jackson and Whitney Houston were part of the problem. They had a watered down look that appealed mainstream America whereas Stephanie Mills and others didn’t. The video age brought with it a whole new level of lookism. You need to pretty and visually appealing before you need to even be talented.

    India Irie B. Suleman is not doing straight rhythm and blues music which is why they put her in the neo-soul category. Her music is still amazing and if she just had the right look she would be bigger. Sadly India does not visually appeal to her own people and thus she gets no love and promotion from her own community.

    So everything you all see happening is music can be traced straight back to the music video and what we as a people consider beautiful. In our community light is the pinnacle of beautifulness and that is why only light girls seem to be getting signed and releasing music these days and hey, you can’t get any lighter than white now can you?

  8. Is this blog a front for Beyonce’s promotion team? Have you even looked at the Hot 100 charts? There are many other black men and women there.

  9. I guess you didn’t see Ciara at number 19, way above Beyonce. She ain’t black?

  10. Rihanna is there two. Last time I checked, she is ‘so called black.’

  11. I think this article is well written and as honest as one can get!! the truth remains that as unique as black beauty, love, music, talent and family is it is ALWAYS being taken away from us by “others”. The sad thing about not having enough sista’s to represent on the music charts is also because of “black-on-black” sabotage. For example, Kelly Rowland can sing but as long as Beyonce is on the charts Mathew Knowles will only make room for one star. What about Janet – she is an icon no doubt Justin T. thought he could hang but the minute the “breast exposure” took a turn for the worst, Justin took a turn out the door. Now he’s on the charts with the help of Timberland and Janet can’t even go “gold”. If we arent getting our lifestyle taken by “others” we are still on guard among ourselves….its sad!

  12. Interesting stuff here.

    I think what it boils down to ultimately is just commericalism/capitalism. Music video directors want the lighter skinned girls (in some cases) because they know those girls are more palatable to the tastes of White America and because of this, those White Americans might just go out and buy the album. It’s all about making money; exploit the light-skinned/exotic beauties to make more money, sell more records, etc.

    Someone above mentioned artists such as Ciara and Rihanna also being current on the charts. Let’s see, how about we add Fantasia, that lil’ chica who sings the Lip Gloss song and Beyonce, Kelly, Mya, Amerie………………that’s about it, isn’t it? I’m thinking of sistas on the R&B/Pop charts…….Is India’s album still going strong?

    I belong to a site called Sistaz Coloring Outside the Lines via my myspace account. There are dozens upon dozens of Black female singers listed on this site. My concern with the above listing isn’t so much as light-skinned vs. darker-skinned Black females, rather the QUALITY OF THE MUSIC, the ‘wave’ of that music that’s overtaken us now. We used to be more diverse. I guess I’m recalling my Erykah Badu, early India, Lauryn Hill, Jill Scott days….yup, that whole Neo-Soul era…

    And with ‘that’ said, maybe it’s not so much as the imagery of the sistas out now and their skin tones but the KIND of music that’s favored now…and this is why there’s no real array of sista-color on the charts?

    As for Justin Timberfake *cough* I mean, Timberlake using Black producers…well, what can you say? Coldplay, Linkin Park, etc. have worked with JayZ and Timbaland…are they too exploiting our music to gain sells? I dunno…will have to think on that one. But I’d like to think that they are NOT. I’d like to think that they are all true musical artists who like to dabble in musical flavors here and there. I read somewhere that Timberfake *cough* Timberlake would like to do a country album but is scared to. But country music and bluegrass music are a part of his YT heritage…so he should! But maybe he likes to play it safe surfing through ‘our’ zones of R&B/Hip Hop?

    I ramble. 😆

  13. Can I tell you that I just made this REALLY LONG POST and it didn’t save it?!?!?! 😥

  14. I hear what you all are saying. I’m just happy to see Black women on the charts period. Yes they happen to be a little lighter but there black. I just wish we could change how women are viewed on TV period. But that’s another issue. 🙂

  15. This is exactly what the other girls were arguing about. ( s dot and real talk)
    real talk i guess you were on the wrong blog bec on this one everyone agrees with what you were saying. it seems more black woman shared the same view and after reading the other posting you sisters are right on!!!1

  16. The reason why beyonce is successful is because she has a look that is marketable to whites. If beyonce was Kelly’s complexion would she be where she is now….maybe not. I remember Natasha from ANTM saying that she is the strongest model because she has a european look and the her look is what’s in and the european look is always gonna be in; and she is right.

    :iagree:

  17. i think we are way beyond being glad just to see someone black on the charts. now we have to look @ who we have elected to be put on those charts. i see that everyone is saying how rihanna is topping the charts but lets be real she cant sing and we have her to represent us.the only reason she and beyonce are on top is bec as someone stated above they are accepted by white america. artist like indie arie and kelly roland get the back burner. we not only see this in music but we also see it in school and work. to be honest this will never change bec if we change how they view us and get them to accept us in every shade we are that means that have to make changes to themselves and they will never allow that. just imagine if everytime your turn on your tv you saw beatiful brown sisters with full lips and noses,and wide hips. . the things we go through to look like them would never compare to the changes they would have to go thorugh to look like us. for example to look like them we have to starve ourself until we get to a size 3 or smaller, straighten our hair, take a big 2 by 4 and hit our butts until they look like our back never ends, and then get a nose job and get breast impants way to big for our bodies. for them to change to us they would need to eat, eat and eat and then allow there hair to thicken up( no more blonde streaks lol) they would have get a tan, they would prob have to get butt impants(lol), the breast can still be their because the weight and the hips will balance it out, add in strenghth and they will be as phenomenal as me!!!

  18. [quote comment=”7904″]This is exactly what the other girls were arguing about. ( s dot and real talk)
    real talk i guess you were on the wrong blog bec on this one everyone agrees with what you were saying. it seems more black woman shared the same view and after reading the other posting you sisters are right on!!!1[/quote]

    Can I ask a question, where are all our Dark or Brown Skin sista’s at? If the most Black women on this site want to see Dark women singers and Performers more than why don’t Darker black women put themselves out there more? If it Bee or Corinne’ s fault they’re a lighter shade and happen to be talented.

    Don’t get me wrong I understand where you everyone is coming from. I do. But (I HAVE ONE MORE QUESITON), why do we think of race anyway? Why do we have to look at the music charts and say “Man why is it only light skin black owmen on this list”? Why can’t we say “WOW I see two of my Black sista’s made it”? Just a question? 🙂

  19. [quote comment=”7906″]i think we are way beyond being glad just to see someone black on the charts. now we have to look @ who we have elected to be put on those charts. i see that everyone is saying how rihanna is topping the charts but lets be real she cant sing and we have her to represent us.the only reason she and beyonce are on top is bec as someone stated above they are accepted by white america. artist like indie arie and kelly roland get the back burner. we not only see this in music but we also see it in school and work. to be honest this will never change bec if we change how they view us and get them to accept us in every shade we are that means that have to make changes to themselves and they will never allow that. just imagine if everytime your turn on your tv you saw beatiful brown sisters with full lips and noses,and wide hips. . the things we go through to look like them would never compare to the changes they would have to go thorugh to look like us. for example to look like them we have to starve ourself until we get to a size 3 or smaller, straighten our hair, take a big 2 by 4 and hit our butts until they look like our back never ends, and then get a nose job and get breast impants way to big for our bodies. for them to change to us they would need to eat, eat and eat and then allow there hair to thicken up( no more blonde streaks lol) they would have get a tan, they would prob have to get butt impants(lol), the breast can still be their because the weight and the hips will balance it out, add in strenghth and they will be as phenomenal as me!!![/quote]

    LOL!

    Because I’m a light brown shade with Hips, and Butt. I’m not size 2 but a I’m a nice size 10 and I know if I was in the business “THEY” would want me to lose MADD WEIGHT! Then I wouldn’t have a man! CTFU! :mrgreen:

  20. [quote comment=”7907″][quote comment=”7904″]This is exactly what the other girls were arguing about. ( s dot and real talk)
    real talk i guess you were on the wrong blog bec on this one everyone agrees with what you were saying. it seems more black woman shared the same view and after reading the other posting you sisters are right on!!!1[/quote]

    Can I ask a question, where are all our Dark or Brown Skin sista’s at? If the most Black women on this site want to see Dark women singers and Performers more than why don’t Darker black women put themselves out there more? If it Bee or Corinne’ s fault they’re a lighter shade and happen to be talented.

    Don’t get me wrong I understand where you everyone is coming from. I do. But (I HAVE ONE MORE QUESITON), why do we think of race anyway? Why do we have to look at the music charts and say “Man why is it only light skin black owmen on this list”? Why can’t we say “WOW I see two of my Black sista’s made it”? Just a question?

    :
    why do we look @ race??? i think in this day and age we dont have a choice. we have little black looking @ tv but cant find anyone that looks like them. we cant be neiva to say we should not be looking @ race because we are not the only ones looking. as adult we can make that desicion but little black girls look at tv and the want to realte and belong also.i know when i was growing up i wanted the long flowing hair just bec thats all i saw, i never saw black women with beautiful hair on tv. BUT i had a strong mother who did have wonderful full thick hair, but what about those who dont have that in there homes.

    to quote “why do we think of race anyway? Why do we have to look at the music charts and say “Man why is it only light skin black owmen on this list”? Why can’t we say “WOW I see two of my Black sista’s made it”? Just a question?
    sista have been on the charts from the artha, whitney, chaka, patti, mary j, phillis hyman, and many many more . we have proven we can make the charts now its about how we are represented on the charts, but all we are seeing is light sisters with half the talent over dark sister with over-flowing talent

  21. [quote comment=”7907″][quote comment=”7904″]This is exactly what the other girls were arguing about. ( s dot and real talk)
    real talk i guess you were on the wrong blog bec on this one everyone agrees with what you were saying. it seems more black woman shared the same view and after reading the other posting you sisters are right on!!!1[/quote]

    Can I ask a question, where are all our Dark or Brown Skin sista’s at? If the most Black women on this site want to see Dark women singers and Performers more than why don’t Darker black women put themselves out there more? If it Bee or Corinne’ s fault they’re a lighter shade and happen to be talented.

    Don’t get me wrong I understand where you everyone is coming from. I do. But (I HAVE ONE MORE QUESITON), why do we think of race anyway? Why do we have to look at the music charts and say “Man why is it only light skin black owmen on this list”? Why can’t we say “WOW I see two of my Black sista’s made it”? Just a question?

    :
    why do we look @ race??? i think in this day and age we dont have a choice. we have little black girls looking @ tv but cant find anyone that looks like them. we cant be naive to say we should not be looking @ race because we are not the only ones looking. as adult we can make that desicion but little black girls look at tv and the want to realate too and belong also.i know when i was growing up i wanted the long flowing hair just bec thats all i saw, i never saw black women with beautiful hair on tv. BUT i had a strong mother who did have wonderful full thick hair, but what about those who dont have that in there homes.

    to quote “why do we think of race anyway? Why do we have to look at the music charts and say “Man why is it only light skin black owmen on this list”? Why can’t we say “WOW I see two of my Black sista’s made it”? Just a question?
    sista have been on the charts from the artha, whitney, chaka, patti, mary j, phillis hyman, and many many more . we have proven we can make the charts now its about how we are represented on the charts, but all we are seeing is light sisters with half the talent over dark sister with over-flowing talent

  22. Thanks Shawnmisslady,

    Something to think about.

    But I didn’t grow up that way. My hair is curly but I liked it. Weird huh?

  23. Don’t expect to see another Whitney, Janet or Brandy anytime soon. The same way there is a sound the industry wants, there is a look too. while India.Arie puts out some beautiful and cool tunes that go unnoticed because she just doesn’t garner any attention from her own people.

    I AGREE

  24. This dark light thing has been with us forever and we keep it going. Light-skinned Black females enjoy the privlege of being desired by Black men and so obviously they have been fine with these standards for years. But now as you said light ain’t right no more and Latina and White women are the new flavor of the day.

    I AGREE

  25. 🙂 stuff like this just help me with my Daughter. Ya Know!! Thanks Shawnmisslady :mrgreen:

  26. I do agree with some of the things stated in the blog. But why get upset about Latinas in videos, like Fabolous’ new one. Roslyn Sanchez is a beautiful woman who wouldn’t want her in their video. Latinas are minorities too. And before anyone gets any crazy ideas about my race, I am a black woman with a milk chocolate complexion to be exact.

    All this light skinned, dark skinned stuff can be traced back to slavery (yeah here we go), but it’s true. We are living in a society where black folks think the N-word is a term of endearment so what makes ya’ll think there wouldn’t be racism within our community.

    Music is music to me, I think it’s a honor for people to do “black” music no matter what race they are. It makes me feel good to be a black woman, when women of other races want fuller lips, hips and buttocks. Because no matter how hard they try they will never ever be black.

    And about the videos…women have to go out to the casting calls right? So how do we know that dark skinned women are showing up? We don’t. I am dark skinned and told that I should model but I don’t know where to go( I am about to start Medical School so I am really not interested). So we shouldn’t assume that resources are out there for everyone.

  27. Stephanie I commend you highly for telling and addressing the truth. :thumbsup: Like you said this is a subject that some in the black community tip toe around and attack and label anyone that is brave enough to reveal or address this as an issue. I think that some make this attack because they are the ones who are internally supporting this madness but want admit it. Like I have said before it’s not that you support this white & light is right, brown stay around, black get back theory. The fact is some of us want it to be fixed in the black community but it can’t until the delusional ones stop denying that the problem even exists. Honestly but sadly I think it will always exist because some people just look at color and complexion as a measurement of beauty. It’s extremely sad but I thank God very much for giving me a beautiful heart to see that color and complexion is not a true measurement of self-worth, character, and beauty. I think that people who think like that are limiting themselves because they are not being open to a variety of different types of people. Shawnmisslady I agree 100% with what you have said. :thumbsup: “Dark skinned women have proven that they are phenomenal staring with my girl Whitney, Aretha, Chaka, Patti, Mary j, Phillis Hyman, (let me add Donna Summers & Natalie Cole )and many many more. We have proven we can make the charts now its about how we are represented on the charts, but all we are seeing is light sisters with half the talent over dark sister with over-flowing talent” however I am happy to see successful black people but I wish they would just raise the standards. Right now the best I can think of representing us is Alicia Keys and India Arie which are both just extremely talented and I have seen them both in concert as well as Beyonce. Indie Arie can write (let me add meaningful songs) sing, dance, play the acoustic guitar, and the flute. Alcia Keys is a classically trained pianist, she writes her own music which is very meaningful also. But look who we have representing us right now the most two people put together which only have ¼ of the talent Alicia Keys or India Arie have alone. So those examples show you that looks do sell not real hard core talent. Real talent wanted please. 🙂

  28. [quote comment=”7919″]I do agree with some of the things stated in the blog. But why get upset about Latinas in videos, like Fabolous’ new one. Roslyn Sanchez is a beautiful woman who wouldn’t want her in their video. Latinas are minorities too. And before anyone gets any crazy ideas about my race, I am a black woman with a milk chocolate complexion to be exact.

    All this light skinned, dark skinned stuff can be traced back to slavery (yeah here we go), but it’s true. We are living in a society where black folks think the N-word is a term of endearment so what makes ya’ll think there wouldn’t be racism within our community.

    Music is music to me, I think it’s a honor for people to do “black” music no matter what race they are. It makes me feel good to be a black woman, when women of other races want fuller lips, hips and buttocks. Because no matter how hard they try they will never ever be black.

    And about the videos…women have to go out to the casting calls right? So how do we know that dark skinned women are showing up? We don’t. I am dark skinned and told that I should model but I don’t know where to go( I am about to start Medical School so I am really not interested). So we shouldn’t assume that resources are out there for everyone.[/quote]
    Congrats on Med School Ma! That’s BIGGGGG!

  29. [quote comment=”7924″]This is a dope piece. *dap* :thumbsup:[/quote]
    Total compliment coming from such a great writer as yourself.

    I’m blushing 😳

  30. I hate to say it but this is why i’m completely over black people…. I’m tired of having to convince black people that there beautiful. How pathetic does that sound?? I litteraly have to convince them that there beautiful!?!? My brother and his friends really look up to these rappers adn want to be like them. This means that none of them will date a brown skin girl. One of his friends said brown skinned and dark skinned girls are ugly and hes black. I tried to convince him and tell him why he was wrong but it just didn’t go through. The media is messing up young black mens perception to beauty in a dangerous way. Young black girls dont feel pretty enough and wish they looked like Beyonce. I fear for the black future were in a sad state.

  31. I would like to add that when are you people going to identify the real problem? In are society the whiter you are the better and the darker you are the worse. Light good, dark bad. Its the truth and you see it everyday. Although some of us know this isn’t true alot of us live by it. What are we gonna do to change the problem? How can we end this now?

  32. its the same for rnb men justin and robin thick get lots of praise from black ppl yet guy like Joe dont. justin or robin cannot sing like Joe

  33. Well this America; black men have overcame but not black women. You have to be white or damn near in order to be loved in America. We have always had the light skin vixen and black mammy characters. These are stereotypes that have always prevailed and never will die out. My best friend, Nikki, always thanked God everyday she ws not born dark skin. It has provided her better corporate job and a nice family life. I don’t think there is anything one can do. There was a brief black pride movement in the 70’s but that was when black people all had one mindset. At this time black men are leading the charge of the dismiss of black female beauty there is no need for white men to call us nappy headed ho when black men do it all the time.

  34. :iagree: ITS ABOUT TIME IT WAS SAID! :thumbsup: even still, i dont think things are going to change. we have racism among our own race. its a shame & its hurtful but it wont change.
    our brothas are playing sistas left & right in these videos and even off screen when they start dating. they start getting paid (music industry, acting or NBA/NFL) & they forget about the pretty brown girl that helped them get to where they are & was with them when they couldnt afford to pay attention! all of a sudden, they’re interested in focusing on the latina, white or asian thats kissing their :booty: now that they’ve come up on the financial ladder.

    in society, seems like the lighter you are the better…which is why beyonce (w/ her BLONDE weave & light skin) is more popular than say a india or heather ( brown skin natural hair wearing sistas :brownsista: ). one of the only dark black women that the media focuses on is naomi campbell & thats not a good look @ all b/c she portrays the stereotypical angry black woman! and when she tries to be “nicer”, she becomes boring & the lighter complected beyonce who’s shopping AGAIN @ some over-priced boutique becomes that much more fascinating. :thumbsdown:

    i believe ALL black women are beautiful & that society should start to give us all our props and not show favoritism. but everybody has their preferences and society has made its preference loud and clear.

  35. OK since this article has been said and after reading these comments what I have to say is this, first of all Naomi Campbell suppose to have sense. Nobody forced her to act a fool she’s been one of the highest paid supermodels in the world and let’s not forget she was in 3rd place for being the sexiest supermodel. And Beyonce can sing and dance that’s why she’s being focused on. Some black women do not know how to support each other (and I say some), we always try to tear each build ourselves up by tearing each other down and little do we know that our comments or complaints and behavior are a reflection of who we really are. It’s really pathedetic. How sad in a time when the media tries to eliminate black women on tv ads, videos, movies, music charts etc., because their jealous of us themselves, but they try to build themselves up by saying we’re not worthy of good exposure and some of us prove them right. This light-skin/dark-skin crap needs to end. Beyonce is BLACK almost every black person has something mixed in them. Some of ya’ll would hate on Stacy Dash or Kenya Moore. I know beauty comes in every shade and whether ya’ll admit it or not in beauty there are some people that are actually beautiful and people who are not. Light, Brown or Dark. Also why complain about the music videos not having ya’ll in it, when some of ya’ll use to say how these rappers portray us as stanky sex pots now when another race of women are in it being use just the same too, now ya’ll have something to say. I strongly believe that the B.S. among black people stems from a brand of self-hatred within the black community, a self-hatred that is borne of our collective experience with racism and persistent in equality in this nation.

  36. And another thing since Dame Dash and Dull Diddy keep putting white or asian women on their ads. DON’T BUY THEIR CRAP. If rappers keep putting latina or whites in their videos. DON’T BUT THEIR ALBUM. White women or other playing love interest to black men? DON’T WATCH THE MOVIE. Get it.

  37. To the previous statement- yes Beyonce is black but the FACT is that she is more acepted because she has a light complexion. Yes it would be great for the “light vs. dark” thing to end but it seems that it never will. I do turn the channel when i see that the main chick in the videos are not not black but i believe it is a topic that needs to be discussed. The young ladies in Bobby’s and Fabolous’s videos were not portrayed in a negative way but neither were black.

    Great article brown sista and i also read the clay cane article a couple of days ago. i remember when the diddy and rocawear ads can out and how shocked i was to see the lack of black women. this is so sad!

    I remember when timbaland used to roll with missy, ginuwine, aaliyah, play,a magoo, etc. Now his crew is JT and Nelly Furtado lol!

  38. Here’s another take: If what u said about Amy Winehouse was said by a white to a black, it would have been labelled the highest form of racialism. So arent u a bit racist there too?

  39. Hey Danielle, you seem to have totally missed the point. Of course Bey is getting attention because she can sing & dance but would she have garnered THAT MUCH attention had she been dark skinned? The truth is probably not. I’m a big Bey fan but even i know her light-skin has done a lot for her. I appreciate these sistas but the point being made is that, other sistas with darker skin and the same talents are not able to get their level of support, simply because they do not fit the western ideal of beauty. To see the argument simply as black women hating on each other is very tunnel-visioned. You seem to be implying that just because we are black women we should be grateful for ‘any’ attention thrown at us? Well I believe otherwise, black people and black women deserve just as much as any other people, so why should we settle for societal conceptions that are discriminatory?

    B.Suleman, if someone called Whitney Houston a crack-addict with a haggard face i wouldn’t call that racist, just the same as Amy Winehouse being a heroine-addict with f’d up teeth. Plus, was that all you had to say about the article? Tsk, tsk!

  40. [quote comment=”7957″]Here’s another take: If what u said about Amy Winehouse was said by a white to a black, it would have been labelled the highest form of racialism. So arent u a bit racist there too?[/quote]
    Racist? Hmmm.. can I a Black woman truly be a racist in the sense of what we know racism to be in this country? I think not. Nice try though.

    Amy Winehouse is a toothless heroin addict who is visually unatractive in every way. There is no way in hot holy hell a Black woman looking like her would get the time of day from Black sites, much less actually have her music played on the radio- particularly Black radio. Amy Winehouse however has all of the above. When her album was dropping she was all over Black blogs- never saw her on any White blogs though and it’s funny how when I visit them- quite a few ask who she is.

    Amy is blessed though with White skin so her addiction and looks are actually put aside so her talent can shine through. This is something India Arie, Heather Headley and a host of other dark brown women could only hope for.

  41. I may not be directly addressing the issue at hand (singers on the charts, etc.) but I feel this may be the right audience to help me out with this.

    I think part of our problem is that people expect so much yet so little of us. People expect us to be strong all the time but then contradict themselves by saying we are weak-minded when it comes to anger, drugs, and sexual stereotypes. We are ALWAYS expected to be talented so when we sing or dance well, it is expected…when women and men of other races do it, it is almost a respected novelty that is praised and appreciated. We, as black women, can never be individuals…when people see us, they automatically assume what kind of music we like, how we talk, what kind of men we date, and what kind of attitude we have. Sometimes we even get caught up in the stereotypes with comments like “I’m about to get ghetto up in here”, or “The ni**a is about to come out”. We think its funny but it only perpetuates that which we are trying to escape from.

    With all of the nonsense going on in white Hollywood lately…is the thought perpetuated that all young white women are drugged up whores who don’t wear panties and crash up their BMW’s all the time? Nope…they are seen as poor misguided souls who made mistakes. They are taken by the hand to rehab only to screw up again. Yet our misfortunes are blasted and scrutinized with the explanation of…”well you know how those people are…”

    So my question is…how do we end this? It seems that black men are not down for the task…once again we need to be strong and fix it ourselves. Is it within our children? Is it something we are doing? Should we just not care? Just something that has been racking my brain for awhile.

  42. [quote comment=”7900″]Can I tell you that I just made this REALLY LONG POST and it didn’t save it?!?!?! :cry:[/quote]
    Sorry. Your post was saved. It somehow got marked as spam by the site though. I check the spam folder this morning and found both posts there 🙂

  43. Latita I get the whole point and my point stands because it is the truth. Another thing see what we did to Taye Diggs career after he dissed us and Wesley Snipes after he disses us? Not because they both married outside their race but they verbally dissed us. We still have some power.

  44. “We, as black women, can never be individuals…when people see us, they automatically assume what kind of music we like, how we talk, what kind of men we date, and what kind of attitude we have.”

    :iagree: Daniele #2 i completely agree with what u said. not just the part i have posted here but all of your post. i just want to focus on this b/c it really stood out to me. i know what its like to have a white person assume that b/c i am a black female that the only songs i know the words to are destiny’s child songs & that i absolutely hate country music (both assumptions are waaay off base by the way). i know what its like to have people of my own race look @ me funny b/c i say that orlando bloom or johnny depp or justin timberlake are attractive men. i like all kinds of music, i dont only wear rocawear & baby phat or other “hiphop” labels, i dont only listen to hiphop and r&b, i dont walk around with an attitude all the time, and i definitely have no shame in admitting that i am not only attracted to black men.

    its sad that people look @ the color of your skin & automatically judge you and label you especially when someone of your own race does it. its hurtful when you are labeled by someone of another race but when your own people make me you feel categorized, its even more painful.its a huge problem in the black community b/c we look at the shades of each other’s skin & make that the basis of our judgment of that person. i wish things could change but as i have said b4, i dont think it will. i really dont know if there is anything that we can do to end this ongoing struggle thats been going on since slavery. in america, we’re not all equal (despite what society wants you to believe) and we may never be.

  45. The reason why race is looked at is because thats what this country was built on. If you were white you were free if you were light-skinned then u worked in the house if you were dark you worked in the fields. This concept has followed us to 2007 and its in the black culture big time. its sad that what happen so long ago affects us so much. I don’t blame the music producers because they gotta make money just like the next person. These standards will not change unless we do something about it. I mean i have boycotted BET for only hiring the hispanics and its just sad that is has affected us so much. I remember back in the 90s there were plenty of black women singers out there but its different now because the cultures are meshing like a melting pot. There is nothing wrong with that but we say we don’t think we should look @ race but then if someone who is of a different race does something “black” then its a big deal.

    I also think that black women don’t limit yourself. Date who you want to date be who you want to be. Whether you are light,dark or whatever just be you.

  46. Danielle #2 and Mrs Harris, both amazing stated quotes. I agree 110% with them.

    Unfortunately, I feel that the core of the change will have to start in the industries like music and movies. The capitalistic society that we live in remains the source of the choke hold our community is suffering from. I say choke hold because mainstream media is force feeding this garbage down our throats through radio, TV, magazines and our absence on the big screen. For those parents who chose to let MTV and BET babysit their kids, that population will gladly be given the reality series titled “Dumb negroes in the hood, Flava of Love 110, and I love NY 27- all with ghetto actin darker skinned stars), etc etc.

    “Back in the day” when racism was in your face, it was easier it protest and be angry at the hate and join together to fight it, but when you add subtlties and repetitive marketing of the light skinned female/asian whatever to the black male through videos/movies, the damage is much worse because the subtle marketing propaganda will always play a major role in big investments in life, (girlfriends, wives, etc.)
    I’m sorry but I do believe that what record companies and movie Hollywood practices is deliberate. Just another way to help erode the founation of black families and further disgrace our
    beautiful black women.
    :brownsista:
    Imma stop ramblin’ now…

  47. :iagree:
    By the way great topic post I love these deep conversations I wish there were more of them in our black blogging sites.
    :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

    :brownsista:

  48. a black man can’t win. for real.

    if we put other ethnicities in our videos, then we’re leaving you.

    if we put you in our videos, we’re whoring our own race and want to erradicate hip-hop. (see http://whataboutourdaughters.blogspot.com/)

    if we put a light-skinned woman in a video, it’s a slap at the dark-skinned.

    and damn don’t let it get to relationships.

    why can’t it be so simple as that we like all women and don’t mind expressing that.

    i think it has gotten so that black women (not all, just for those who think this way) hate themselves SO MUCH that they don’t know what to do anymore. They (again, not all) have become racist and don’t even know it.

    Amy Winehouse albums were both better than what India.Arie has put out.

  49. as far as the music…

    all of these pop girls suck. mya, milian, ciara, even janet (now). poor songs, none of ’em have Real voices.

  50. [quote comment=”7991″]as far as the music…

    all of these pop girls suck. mya, milian, ciara, even janet (now). poor songs, none of ’em have Real voices.[/quote]
    CTFU

  51. [quote comment=”7990″]

    I think it has gotten so that black women (not all, just for those who think this way) hate themselves SO MUCH that they don’t know what to do anymore. They (again, not all) have become racist and don’t even know it.

    Amy Winehouse albums were both better than what India.Arie has put out.[/quote]I think Black women have been carefully manipulated into hating themselves and the constant barrage of other women on the arms of Black men is part of the problem as it leaves sistas feeling inadequate, unloved and unwanted.

    Also zills, once upon a time a video girl was just a girl in the video. She wasn’t degraded. She was just the pretty girl who played the object of the male’s affection. This does not offend me and I can’t see why sistas no longer hold this place in brothas videos.

    As for Amy’s albums being better than Idia’s- that’s matter of opinion but I stand by the fact that India has been kept off the radio and out of site because she does not appeal to brothas.

  52. i agree w/ stephanie! Zillz, I’m not saying it has to be all black all the time in videos but why are girls of other races and ethnicities outnumbering black women. There is a big difference from the “tip drill” video and “anonymous” video. I don’t usually see black women being the main chick in the videos of white or hispanic artists. If ya’ll don’t want or appreciate us, who will?!? Also, when black women are in the videos, you can barely tell they are black!

  53. [quote comment=”7986″]The reason why race is looked at is because thats what this country was built on. If you were white you were free if you were light-skinned then u worked in the house if you were dark you worked in the fields. This concept has followed us to 2007 and its in the black culture big time. its sad that what happen so long ago affects us so much. I don’t blame the music producers because they gotta make money just like the next person. These standards will not change unless we do something about it. I mean i have boycotted BET for only hiring the hispanics and its just sad that is has affected us so much. I remember back in the 90s there were plenty of black women singers out there but its different now because the cultures are meshing like a melting pot. There is nothing wrong with that but we say we don’t think we should look @ race but then if someone who is of a different race does something “black” then its a big deal.

    I also think that black women don’t limit yourself. Date who you want to date be who you want to be. Whether you are light,dark or whatever just be you.[/quote]
    Well said! 🙂

  54. I do see where you all are coming from but what i’m saying is it doesn’t matter who’s doing what. there will always be some group of individuals who feel like they’re being left out of the equation or somehow dissed.

    what’s degrading is also a matter of opinion. in the big pimpin’ video, those porno women loved getting that bottle of vodka thrown on them by Dame Dash.

    in the tip drill video, the models probably practiced that AmEx card swipe scene many times.

    when these guys do these types of videos, they are living out some sort of fantasy that most likely has not occurred. As a man myself. As a black man, even I wouldn’t mind being surrounded by a group of scantily-clad, curvy women of all colors.

    when brothas look at videos, we don’t see “damn there was more white women than black women in this video, write it down!” We see “damn she’s gorgeous!” trust me, men don’t care who’s in the video as long as they look good naked and that goes for all women in the real world as well. I’m not gonna speak for ALL brothas, just the ones I’m acquainted with.

    so was it cool that in that Alicia Keys video where she was trying to get at Mos Def. There was no gyrating or nakedness. But Alicia is half-white. Thus light-skinned. And gorgeous. Or am I wrong for using her as my chosen example over somebody a shade darker.

  55. zillz, I think you are somewhat avoiding the issue here. If the men in the videos are Black why aren’t the women? Only Black men’s videos seem to be missing Black women. When I see the women in White male’s videos they are the same color and ethnicity as the men. Hispanic videos don’t feature Black women or even brown skinned Hispanic women for that matter. Why brothas always gotta have the “otha woman” in their videos, ads, movies and so forth? And though you may want to skirt the color issue you know how strong it is in our community and that Black women take the brunt of it.

    This post was really a mixture of several different thoughts I have had in my head for sometime now. The issue of White women in hip hop ads aimed at brothas. The constant association of White women with success is what drives so many brothas to get with them once they make it. I actually read a statistic that said 70% of Black men making over $100,000 a year were married to White women. I nearly fell over.

    The replacement of Black women is what this post was about and so far every man that has stepped up in here has excused it and that is sad but typical. Visit any site online frequented by Black men and you will see an almost obsession with with White female flesh. It borderlines on embarrassing and I cringe at the thought of other nationalities reading what some brothas think of sistas.

    If someone can explain to me why only Black women seem to be removed from their rightful places beside Black men then I will forever be grateful. At the same time please explain to me why this phenomenon does not go down with other races as well.

    Just please don’t blame the White man and tell me it’s a conspiracy- I don’t think I could take foolishness anymore. :hmph:

  56. [quote comment=”7948″]OK since this article has been said and after reading these comments what I have to say is this, first of all Naomi Campbell suppose to have sense.

    Nobody forced her to act a fool she’s been one of the highest paid supermodels in the world and let’s not forget she was in 3rd place for being the sexiest supermodel. And Beyonce can sing and dance that’s why she’s being focused on. Some black women do not know how to support each other (and I say some), we always try to tear each build ourselves up by tearing each other down and little do we know that our comments or complaints and behavior are a reflection of who we really are. It’s really pathedetic. How sad in a time when the media tries to eliminate black women on tv ads, videos, movies, music charts etc., because their jealous of us themselves, but they try to build themselves up by saying we’re not worthy of good exposure and some of us prove them right. This light-skin/dark-skin crap needs to end. Beyonce is BLACK almost every black person has something mixed in them. Some of ya’ll would hate on Stacy Dash or Kenya Moore. I know beauty comes in every shade and whether ya’ll admit it or not in beauty there are some people that are actually beautiful and people who are not. Light, Brown or Dark. Also why complain about the music videos not having ya’ll in it, when some of ya’ll use to say how these rappers portray us as stanky sex pots now when another race of women are in it being use just the same too, now ya’ll have something to say. I strongly believe that the B.S. among black people stems from a brand of self-hatred within the black community, a self-hatred that is borne of our collective experience with racism and persistent in equality in this nation.[/quote]

    exactly. no matter what shade you are light like beyonce or dark like india arie, all of us back people need to stick together and support each other :dance:

  57. You don’t really believe that stick together crap you just wrote. I know this because you used to word hating. Black women are always told they are hating when color or interracial topics are brought up. How come when negative comments are made about people like Keyshia Cole or Gabrielle Union no one ever says people are hating? Hating apparently is reserved for only those Black women who look highly mixed because in your minds you are so special that if anyone says anything about you that is not glowing it is because you are light and thus special and thus they must be jealous.

    I read twice as many negative comments about Keyshia Cole on blogs and I have yet to hear anyone claim Black women are hating are on. Yet when negative comments are made about Beyonce and the talentless Cassie Ventura someone always screams hate. Why?

    The only people who don’t want to discuss race and color are those who benefit from it most. Whites don’t want to talk about racism and claim it doesn’t exist and likewise light Black women and other races of women don’t want to talk about the favortism they are shown in the Black community by Black men because it benefits them and it’s a benefit they don’t want to lose.

    Black women however are not powerless to act and can show the same distaste for Black men that they show for us by not dating them and when it comes to the celebs don’t support their records.

    Black women buy albums by Mario and all these other men and if we stop that will send a powerful message. If we are not good enough to be in your videos or on your arm in real life then we ain’t good enough to buy your records. Let the women they love and praise buy their records and let’s see how many they sell.

  58. i want to say this, i am a white woman and so what is your places is being taken.. step your game up. these brothers are tired of you coming on their set with mess up weaves, gum popping, head jerking, ghetto girls. they needs women onset to help sell their music. we are their to appeal to all races, black is not appealing to all. they want someone unversal. when are you going to learn black men are easy to appeal too, when they go homes and look @ their mothers and sisters, waking around in roller, and house coats they need something refreshing..

    zilla said it best-As a black man, even I wouldn’t mind being surrounded by a group of scantily-clad, curvy women of all colors.
    do you see that all colors we appeal to all colors will black woman have to be special to get the attention
    i said it once ill sa it again .. its the american way.. deal with it

  59. these brothers are tired of you coming on their set with mess up weaves, gum popping, head jerking, ghetto girls.

    when are you going to learn black men are easy to appeal too, when they go homes and look @ their mothers and sisters, waking around in roller, and house coats they need something refreshing

    ..Not all black men. A lot of them are trying to get away from White women. Like my man! His mom is white and he’s dated White and Spanish and in the end he wanted a Black women. 🙂

  60. ..Not all black men. A lot of them are trying to get away from White women. Like my man! His mom is white and he’s dated White and Spanish and in the end he wanted a Black women.

    S DOT.. I NOTICED YOU SAID YOUR MAN AND NOT YOUR HUSBAND TYPICAL TALK FROM A BLACK WOMAN.. ALWAY WILLING TO GIVE THE MILK AWAY FOR FREE INSTEAD OF MAKING HIM BUY THE WHOLE COW

    SO TYPICAL..LOL
    WHEN YOU CAN CALL HIM YOUR HUSBAND AND NOT YOUR LOVER RESPOND TO ME IN THE MEANWHILE YOU MAY BE HIS LAST CHOICE MAYBE IT WAS CHEAPER TO CHOOSE YOU OR LET ME GUESS THIS IS “YO BABY DADDY” :loser:

  61. What does it matter I have some one to love. Don’t hate please not need. If it’s typical cool at least it’s a start. Also, stop thinking all women want to get married. Not all. I know madd women who are happy with having a MAN! LOL

  62. 🙂 MAY BE HIS LAST CHOICE MAYBE IT WAS CHEAPER TO CHOOSE YOU OR LET ME GUESS THIS IS “YO BABY DADDY”

    ..Feel free to dis me all you want. I know the deal with my life and all I know all Black men don’t want white women.

    I have nothing bad to say to you or any names to call you. But you may be my guess. I’m just letting you know the the deal in my case and madd others.

  63. i have been reading your nonsense barbie and you need to be put in your place. i dont know what block you walk down but i dont see hair rollers and house coats in my neighborhood, maybe if you think beyond the trailer park you can understand whats really going on, its not that our brotha are flocking to you it’s more as if they are settleing for a white womean instead of accepting responability of raising a wholesome black family, have you thought that maybe its that self-hatred that they cant be with someone who has features like them or maybe it the fear of competing with another black man for the love of a wholesome black woman. when i say fear of competing with another black man im saying that if you would look around when you do see a blackman witha white woman they are 9 times of of 10, the white woman is an outcast from her own race. they have been rejected by the white man so they find a black man.. before you go throwing stone @ black women keep in mind we were queens running countries while white woman were knocking each other on the head with clubs…

  64. :stop: Barbie is just trying to cut up. He or she posted the exact same thing in the other post. It’s just someone trying to cause trouble. We were having an intelligent conversation and they are just trying to ruin it, lol.

    We talk like fools and we get scorned. We talk intelligently and people want to ruin it. Don’t let this fool ruin the beauty of this comment section.

    But I must say that LadyShawn ran it, lol!

  65. [quote comment=”8023″]i have been reading your nonsense barbie and you need to be put in your place. i dont know what block you walk down but i dont see hair rollers and house coats in my neighborhood, maybe if you think beyond the trailer park you can understand whats really going on, its not that our brotha are flocking to you it’s more as if they are settleing for a white womean instead of accepting responability of raising a wholesome black family, have you thought that maybe its that self-hatred that they cant be with someone who has features like them or maybe it the fear of competing with another black man for the love of a wholesome black woman. when i say fear of competing with another black man im saying that if you would look around when you do see a blackman witha white woman they are 9 times of of 10, the white woman is an outcast from her own race. they have been rejected by the white man so they find a black man.. before you go throwing stone @ black women keep in mind we were queens running countries while white woman were knocking each other on the head with clubs…[/quote]

    :iagree:

  66. so are you ladies mad at Will Smith at all?

    the most powerful movie star in the world…has a sista for a WIFE. yet she’s light.

    has a fanbase consisting of all colors. the only non-light love interest i’ve seen in his movies was Vivica A. Fox in Independence Day.

    but that’s hollywood. for all of that create your own movies. I’d be more mad the women who coon it out over Flava Flav than this.

    and i’m very sick of the idea that black men just don’t want to “step up” to be with black women. It pisses me off. It’s 100% not true. We love who we love, why can’t free will be free. Why does it have to be some cognitive misstep or dodging of obligation. There’s NO duty-bound law saying that we have to date anybody of any race. black men can’t win.

    I swear.

    Maybe this attitude, this view is why black men seem to be disappearing from your side? We’re not puppets. We’re constantly being called less than men and even in this thread i’ve seen that. I have YET to see black women accept any responsibility on this front. Could there actually be some burden that black women aren’t able to accept? No couldn’t be, it has to be everything and everyone else.

    I’ve seen responses of women calling themselves queens. But i’ve yet to see any response saying that they miss their kings. I’ve yet to see any black man be referred to as a king. to complain is one thing. But what are you willing or even trying to do to fix a situation that you see as broken?

    i once was getting to know this young woman. And she told me what she is like. I told her what I’m like. I told her about the type of things I was into. She wasn’t feeling it. I said okay, well i’m going to find somebody who is. Instead of running her over and cheating on her, leading her on, I left. And I found somebody who was into what I’m into. Isn’t that what matters? Does it matter what race or shade? Am I self-hating because I found somebody who unlike me and yet have the same interests as I? Or should have I waited for an unknown amount of time to have found what others would think is a perfect match for myself?

    and to be honest. not all black men are kings. and not all black women are queens. but they are both men and women. and all people can be hos, b***hes, and any other term you can throw in there.

    Willie Lynch said this mess would happen.

  67. I’ve seen responses of women calling themselves queens. But i’ve yet to see any response saying that they miss their kings. I’ve yet to see any black man be referred to as a king. to complain is one thing. But what are you willing or even trying to do to fix a situation that you see as broken?

    Honestly..I call my man a King EVERY DAY. I even send him good morning emails starting off “Hi my King”.

    But I don’t have a problem with white women dating black men. One of my good friends is dating my boyfriends boys. I think Guys like what they like. Bottom line. It’s nothing no one can do to change it.

    What we should complain about is our Black men dating Men!!

  68. and for that are any of you mad at Oprah?

    yes she does great things overseas for those children but she said your children don’t appreciate her help. Is that true? do your children not appreciate what Oprah has given? What if she doesn’t want to give to american charities anymore, how does that make you feel?

    Notice that in her audience i don’t see many of your faces. that’s because her core is white middleclass. does that anger you? are you being replaced by Oprah?

    she’s made Gale her O-mag uber editor. but that’s her homegirl.

    she’s made superstars out of Dr. Phil and Rachel Ray. Not G Garvin or…hell name a black psychiatrist. But that’s her show, her production company, and her money…she can do whatever the hell she wants. But she is still watched and heralded like royalty. She gets a pass because she’s a black female with billions.

    I know i’ve been going off tangent, but these are thoughts of a black man who’s been questioned all of his short life to measure up and sometimes to exceed to the expectations of all races, religions and genders. I’ve answered them. So can I get some answers.

  69. WOW this really got ya’ll heated. It must be the weather. I’ve never saw on this site where one column has 72 post on it. I’ve found it interesting that people really do care about what Black women have to say.

  70. Zillz, I feel you. But there is way too much finger pointing going on (from everyone, not just you) We only do this to make ourselves feel better.

    Now I can definitely see the situation from your point of view…. However, the only way we can understand each other (and Im talking everyone, not just BM or BW) is to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. I do it every day. Whenever I find myself passing judgement, I force myself to see things from a different perspective.

    I guess it’s a matter of everyone raising their hands, waiting for their turn to speak..but no one is listening. But…I just wanted you to know that I can completely understand how and why things are the way they are from your point of view. Now the magic trick is making the change within yourself FIRST…before expecting others to change for you.

    And trust me, I am not only the president of this practice, I am also a client, lol! It aint easy. :mrgreen:

  71. zillz, Will Smith’s wife looks just like him. It is brown and dark skin who always look to date White women or women ten times lighter than him. This post is not about all Black men dating the darkest Black women to prove they are down. I really like the way Stephanie says it. Why can’t these men have women in their videos who look like them.

  72. I saw this coming when India.arie and Alicia Keys were up for multiple Grammys with their debut Albums.

    To me India’s first album is much much better, but she was shut out by Alicia Keys who was marketed and back by Clive Davis.

    I still play that first India.arie CD. I gave that 1st Alicia Keys CD away to my niece shortly after I purchased it.

  73. I think all black women are beautiful but we have to realize that dark women will not be recognized. I have yet to see an ebony skinned woman in videos. Funny, dark skin is truly the minority in the world if you think about all coutries combined.

  74. [quote comment=”8059″]buffy is in there someplace.[/quote]

    @Zillaz

    I gave direct feedback to your earlier posts… …you said you wanted feedback on your plight and feelings regarding the matter at hand. I am quite intrigued by your perspective because it is an original and honest one. This is just an attempt to understand your point of view.

    Not on stalker status, mind you. You just said some powerful things that you seemed passionate about…I just want to pick your brain a bit more. If no response, no worries. Just reaching out to a brotha who is strong enough to have an opinion.

    The fact that you posted your opinion on this site out of millions of others showed strength to me. Just my two cents, lol.

  75. I am not one for leaving comments as I get entirely too angry to focus my mind enough to sit and write words that won’t, of there own volition, get up and walk straight off the page. However, after Don Imus, I have taken to writing in support of, or against issues that come across my computer screen. Actually, I was told about this site and the article by Danielle 2. She told me all about it after I informed her of my trip to the Us Census website to look up marriages. I did this so that I could see what my chances were of getting hitched as a black woman in this country, it doesn’t look good. But I digress.

    This issue hits me close to the vest simply because I am an educated black woman, and that puts me in the middle of a very perplexing dilemma, I am in the precise class of women who are disappearing from the marriage beds of our male counterparts. We can either marry below our educational levels and socioeconomic backgrounds, or not at all. But here I go again just thinking about myself. The issue at hand here is not only our disappearance from the marriage arena; it is also our virtual absence from the illusion of black life being forced fed to us by the media. And let’s face it; media is media, whether it is black or white propaganda, and on the face of it, our faces are being erased. That is to say, our asses are not. We are still exploited in rap videos and songs. Oh how I love to hear people like Dr. Dre refer to black women as hoes and bitches, then go home to his non-black wife. Let’s not be blinded by this article or subsequent comments, we are being exploited and erased at the same time. Talk about skills.

    Whereas my education has doomed me to spinsterhood, it has also afforded me some incite into the world of music, therefore, I will touch on that first. Back in the 40’s and 50’s when black music was slowly being filtered out of the church and into the mainstream, people like the Rolling Stone, Elvis were in the right position to water down our souls and propagating it to the masses. They come to America, or walked past churches or juke joints and were fascinated. At first they were more than eager to tell the world where the sound that they were making came from, but eventually, they started to deny the evidence of black music in their sound. In short, this is why the Fergies and the Justins of the world piss me off. We are imitated and not appreciated. Our identities and our souls are being stolen and sold for the success of white imitators.

    Side note, how dear zillz say that Amy wine (whatever) as had better albums than Ms. India, the mere fact that India sang about how beautiful his brown skin is to her makes me question his loyalty to his own, and not just to India’s music.

    After sleeping on this last night, I decided that we were all looking at this all wrong. I don’t believe that art is imitating life, quite the contrary, I believe that our art is finally catching up to the innate hate we have always had for ourselves. Do you remember that when the music video was created, black male stars had mostly white women in their videos? It changed for awhile, but of course what is old will always become new again. I believe that we have so erased the black family from the face of America, which the arts are racing to catch up. No longer will they put a black woman as the mother of an obviously mixed child, now her mother is rightfully white, anything to the contrary is an insult to the intelligence of all black people. Therefore, if you are not willing to put black children on television, why would you need the black woman? And according the US Census, of the percentage of married black couples in America was only 6% of the people married in 1992; however, in the same year of the all interracial marriages in America where the husband was black, they top a whopping 66.3%. If you wander why black women are getting replaced on the charts, just look around you, because we have always been pushed to the side in society, and art has to follow suite whether we like it or not. Art like life can never stand still.

  76. [quote comment=”8105″]my education has doomed me to spinsterhood[/quote]I am not going to tell you to lower your standards in order to find love because I think that is a problem many sistas have. We either have no standards for the men we invite in our lives or we lower them and end up regretting that decision later on. Plus, brothas don’t lower their standards. If they don’t want a woman with children or someone on welfare they aren’t going to date that woman- at least not seriously. However, if you are hell bent on just marrying a Black man then you may have to lower your financial standards. But honestly I cannot imagine why you would think you would be doomed to a life of a spinster. It sounds to me like you are giving Black men waaaay to much darn power over your life. Do you think any Black man would live his life alone just because he couldn’t find a Black woman who met his standards? Heck no! Black men would cross over and you need to do the same. I hate how so many of us have almost just given up on ever finding fulfilling relationships simply because we haven’t found the right Black man. Maybe you need to just look for the right man period. Take back your life and open yourself up or risk becoming the spinster you so fear you will.

    Also, it was either in this thread or the other I posted about Reggie Bush that zillz said something profound. I believe the brotha said that Black men are not bound to only date Black women. Now did you hear that? DID YOU HEAR IT? I wish I could get zillz to sky write that line all over Black neighborhoods in America. Brothas have no loyalty to us and haven’t for quite some time now. So why all this loyalty to him? You don’t owe Black men or the Black community your life. Why is our happiness always tied to the survivavl of the race? This is a trick and ploy to keep us mammified and under the thumb of non caring Black men. Black women need to wake up now before it’s too late. How many Friday nights are you going to spend in sister circles crying because brothas don’t want you. Start looking out for self first. Put you FIRST!!!!!!

  77. [quote comment=”8127″][quote comment=”8105″]my education has doomed me to spinsterhood[/quote]I am not going to tell you to lower your standards in order to find love because I think that is a problem many sistas have. We either have no standards for the men we invite in our lives or we lower them and end up regretting that decision later on. Plus, brothas don’t lower their standards. If they don’t want a woman with children or someone on welfare they aren’t going to date that woman- at least not seriously. However, if you are hell bent on just marrying a Black man then you may have to lower your financial standards. But honestly I cannot imagine why you would think you would be doomed to a life of a spinster. It sounds to me like you are giving Black men waaaay to much darn power over your life. Do you think any Black man would live his life alone just because he couldn’t find a Black woman who met his standards? Heck no! Black men would cross over and you need to do the same. I hate how so many of us have almost just given up on ever finding fulfilling relationships simply because we haven’t found the right Black man. Maybe you need to just look for the right man period. Take back your life and open yourself up or risk becoming the spinster you so fear you will.

    Also, it was either in this thread or the other I posted about Reggie Bush that zillz said something profound. I believe the brotha said that Black men are not bound to only date Black women. Now did you hear that? DID YOU HEAR IT? I wish I could get zillz to sky write that line all over Black neighborhoods in America. Brothas have no loyalty to us and haven’t for quite some time now. So why all this loyalty to him? You don’t owe Black men or the Black community your life. Why is our happiness always tied to the survivavl of the race? This is a trick and ploy to keep us mammified and under the thumb of non caring Black men. Black women need to wake up now before it’s too late. How many Friday nights are you going to spend in sister circles crying because brothas don’t want you. Start looking out for self first. Put you FIRST!!!!!![/quote]
    :thumbsup: :iagree: Stephanie I have got to commend you once again this was a very good and true indeed post. I think the same way they are not thinking about you so why all the emphasis on them.

  78. I absolutely love this blog…..As an educated, beautiful brown skin woman with friends of all complexions…I am definitely not mad at any sista from dark chocolate to white chocolate, however as stated earlier, men are very visual so when they see all of these images of the type of women they should marry, it sticks in their mind. So when I do venture out to a club…and it seems like all of the white and light skinned women are asked to dance first….unless the men know you…then I feel kind of slighted…I remember growing up and saying to a friend that I only like light skinned boys…well my mother overheard that comment and talked to me about dating boys/men based upon what’s in their heart and not their skin complexion. Ever since that conversation, I can honestly say that I date all complexions…but question…if the race originated from a black woman then aren’t we all black?

  79. I love Black men because I love myself but I believe we should all be allowed to find happiness without having to answer to other people. Let Black man do what they going to do and sisters need to do the same. Don’t let love pass you by cause you scared of what Black men who don’t you any way have to say.

    (Where are the smilies)

  80. i agree with alot of the comments being made by my beautiful black sisters… its true if we stop supporting these pathetic sellout poor excuse for black men they wouldnt have a career.. black men know exactly what there doing when they purposely put asian,white, and the new black girl-hispanic in there videos.. thus saying black woman are not attractive …which is bullsh!t.. we set the standards of beauty with every other different race of woman running in and out if the plastic surgeon’s office paying steeply for what the black queen was born with naturally.. you black men make over white woman with fake collagen lips but your black queens are born with them naturally.. our skin color is ugly to alot of you but you go with white girls who burn they behinds up4times a week at the tanning salons trying to look just like a black woman… they are always getting big fake breast implants thats to big for there bodies looking like stupid fools you black men drool over them …and last but not least..HUGE FAKE BUTT IMPLANTS…. and you black men know exactly what im talking about trying to act like these white girls arent running to plastic surgeons office by the dozens buying something your black queens are born with thATs 100%natural… as soon as you black men get 1 dollar it goes right back to white community because you black men give it to the white woman.. hell white men are wondering why so many of you are running behind white woman when they dont half want them.. you black men over look alot of things about them too. they dont have to be pretty,have no education,no teeth,no ASS, nasty attitudes and its ok they are called “feisty” white woman wear a hell of alot of weave AND HAIR DYE in there hair and its not problem for black men either.. you expect so much from us when half the time you have absolutely nothing to offer us but we try to stick by you anyway and what do we get …disrespected by you.. you black men turned your backs on us along time ago for no reason. as soon as the white man “gave” you permission to date his white woman without him killing and hanging you like they always did! you black men ran as fast as you can straight to them!!!!!when you black men are being whipped by the cops and having your freedom taken from you ,then you call on the black woman ,but when everything is gravy you black men dont even so much as give a black woman the time of day.. ive seen you black men with the ugliest asian,hispanic,white heffaS around and you black men try and act like shes a prize when shes actually the “BLACK WOMAN’S” JOKE… you black men are always looking for a perfect 10 when your -0 in the looks department you want the prettiest woman when your ugly as hell!!!! and to that chick barbie you are the black woman jokes bitch!!!!! we dont need to step up our game you white girls are getting plastic surgery trying to look like us!!!!! bronzing gel and tanning salons where made for you!!! not us ..we are the complexion you white girls WISH YOU WAS,you made fun of our lips but now whos paying for them? YOU WHITES GIRLS, BUTT-IMPLANTS- who are RUNNING AS FAST AS THEY CAN TO THE SURGEON TO GET THE “FAKE” ONION? YOU WHITE GIRLS THEN YOU TRY AND PRETEND YOU DIDNT GET THEM AND SAY” I WORK OUT THATS WHY MY BUTTS BIGGER YEAH RIGHT ALL THE SQAUTS AND LUNGES IN THE WORLD WONT LIFT UP YOUR PANCAKE FLAT ASSES YOUR TRYING TO SHAPE THOSE BUTT IMPLANTS THE JOKES ON YOU!!! WE BLACK WOMAN ARE LAUGHING AT YOU ALWAYS WAS ALWAYS WILL !!!! YOUR JEALOUS OF US!!! YOU WHITE GIRLS DONT HAVE A DAMN THING FOR US TO BE JEALOUS OF .. YOU AGE LIKE HELL ,YOUR PALE AS HELL, YOU HAVE NO BUTT!!! AND YOU ARE THE ONES SPENDING MILLIONS TRYING TO LOOK LIKE US!!!, AND YOU THINK WHEN YOU LAY UP WITH BLACK MEN AND HAVE THERE ” BLACK KINKY HAIR BABIES” YOUR HURTING US WE AS BLACK WOMAN WE ARE SUPPOSE TO HAVE BEAUTIFUL BLACK BABIES BUT WHAT IS YOUR REASONS FOR WANTING THEM? THEN WHEN SOMEONE ON THE STREET LOOKS AT YOU WITH YOUR BLACK BABIES YOU WANNA RUN HOME AND CRY ? WHY?BLACK MEN MAKE BLACK BABIES!!!YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE A BLACK BABY..WE ARE STRONG AS WOMAN WHEN THESE BLACK MEN ARE IN AND OUT OF JAIL OR JUST PLAIN DEADBEAT DADS WE ARE THE ONES WHO RAISE there CHILDREN WITH OR WITH OUT THEM… WE ARE MOTHER ,FATHER,SUPPORTER.FRIEND,TO OUR CHILDREN WHEN YOU BLACK MEN ARE TO WEAK AND A PATHETIC EXCUSE AS A MAN AND TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN CHILDREN..WE ALWAYS STEP UP TO THE PLATE… MOST BLACK CHILDREN IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY LOVES AND ADORE THERE MOTHERS BECAUSE MAJORITY OF THE TIME THE CHILD WILL COME FROM A SINGLE PARENT HOUSEHOLD… WE ARE CEO’S, BUSINESS OWNERS, COLLEGE GRADUATES,GOOD MOTHERS, THE BACK BONE OF THE BLACK COMMUNITY… IF YOU BLACK MEN DONT WANT US ITS PLENTY OF DIFFERENT RACES OF MEN WHO WILL LOVE US CHERISH US and tell us how beautiful we are, AND KISS THE GROUND WE WALK ON AND WILL TREAT US LIKE THE QUEENS WE ARE!!!!BECAUSE IF YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND A WHITE WOMAN KNOWS YOU BLACK MENS TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS YOU HAVE ANOTHER THING COMING, THEY DONT …WHEN THE WHITE MAN IS GIVING YOU HELL ON THE JOB OR WONT GIVE YOU A BREAK IN LIFE PERIOD WE’LL SEE HOW UNDERSTANDING THEY ARE ..OR WHEN YOUR OVER LOOKED ON THE JOB AND NOT GIVEN ANY CREDIT OR ARE PASSED OVER FOR SOME ONE ELSE ON THE JOB LESS QUALIFIED WELL SEE IF SHE WRAPS HER ARMS AROUND YOU AND TELL YOU “BABY ITS GOING TO BE OK OR LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT … MONEY OR NO MONEY … BECAUSE WE LIVE IN POVERTY RIGHT ALONG WITH YOU… WE STRUGGLE JUST LIKE YOU, WE ARE FIGHTING THE SAME BATTLE AS YOU.. A WHITE WOMAN DONT WANNA LIVE IN THE DAMN GHETTO SHE WANTS TO LIVE A BIG FANCY HOUSE IN A LILY WHITE NEIGHBORHOOD…WE TRY TO LOVE YOU ALL BUT YOU BLACK men MAKE IT SO HARD FOR US TO… YOU ONCE WAS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERED TO US … WE LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU… YOU WOULD PROTECT US AND WE ALWAYS FELT SAFE WITH YOU.. YOU BLACK MEN ONCE DESIRED US, YOU LOVED US AS WELL- YOU LOVED OUR BEAUTIFUL SKIN NO MATTER WHAT COLOR IT WAS..YOU ALWAYS LOVED OUR SHAPELY BEAUTIFUL BODIES…YOU WERE ONCE PROUD TO HAVE BEAUTIFUL BLACK STRONG HEALTHY BABIES.. BECAuse USE YOU NEVER KNEW WHEN YOUR CHILDREN WERE GOING TO be TAKEN FROM YOU AND GIVEN AWAY… I REMEMBER WHEN ALL WE HAD WAS EACH OTHER… WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO STRONG BLACK LOVE BETWEEN US? SOMETIMES YOU BLACK MEN MAKE IT SO HARD FOR US TO LOVE YOU..I WANNA LOVE YOU ALL BUT YOU MAKE IT HARD FOR ME..MAYBE IF YOU BLACK MEN START LOVING US LIKE YOU USE TO THEN WE’LL START LOVING YOU BACK.. WHEN WE SEE YOU PRAISE OTHER RACES OF WOMAN FOR THINGS WE ARE BORN WITH NATURALLY BUT THEY PAY FOR ITS HURTFUL TO US ,HOW CAN YOU LIKE SOMETHING FAKE AND NOT APPRECIATE THE REAL THING WHICH IS YOUR BLACK QUEEN? YOU SAY WERE TO SENSiTIVE NO WERE NOT!!!! WE WAS ONCE MADE FUN OF .NOW ITS OK TO LOOK BLACK I DONT THINK SO LIKE ITS A FAD TO HAVE BIG LIPS BUTTS ETC ALL THINGS BLACK WOMAN WERE MADE FUN OF FOR HAVING,IT IS THAT SERIOUS FOR US !!!! THEY TRIED TO DESTROY THE BLACK WOMANS SELF ESTEEM REMEMBER THAT!!!!! I KNOW THIS IS A VERY LONG MESSAGE BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND WHERE IM COMING FROM…WE BLACK WOMAN LOVE OUR BROTHERS BUT THEY HURT US ALL THE TIME YOU ALL ARE MAKING IT HARD FOR US TO… THINK ABOUT THAT… WRITTEN BY A BEAUTIFUL BLACK/INDIAN WOMAN TRYING TO HOLD ON TO THE LOVE I HAVE FOR MY BLACK BROTHERS … DONT GIVE UP ON US AND WE WONT GIVE UP ON YOU!!!

  81. Firstly, I would like to thank Stephanie for her words of encouragement, and I would like for all of us to read and appreciate your words. Unfortunately some of the comments were lost on me. I as much as I love fairy tails and handsome princes, I am averse to the idea of waiting for any kind of man to rescue me. I wrote out of frustration, and not desperation. In my zeal to convey a small part of me, I must have done something to convey the idea that I was doomed to spinsterhood because I was hoping for a black man, quite the contrary; I am really not that into black men. That is to say, I am not that into the ones who approach me with the vulgarities and sexually exploitive come-on’s that only serve to frustrate instead of attract.
    I am open to all races, but most of all I am open to intelligence, honesty and devotion. What I want more than anything is someone who wakes up every morning and thinks of ways to make me happy. I don’t exactly care what color the package comes in as long as I think it’s a pretty one. Of course, unbeknownst to me, I invited your comments. Sorry about that, when I went onto the Us Census to look at marriage, I went on there to look at interracial marriages in specific and marriage in general. I was thinking about the statement I heard on Oprah, that black women were one of the least married group in America, and I just wanted to verify it’s validity for myself. It’s sad, and true.
    Here’s the thing. Black men are baling out, and they have done such a great job of perpetuating the image of the angry, sexually charge welfare mother, that it seems to me that others are afraid to want us. Simply put, they don’t want us, and they are making the statement by casting us aside and casting a white, asian, latina woman in our roles. It is my contention that this makes us even less valuable to other races. We are seen as all that is mortally wrong about society, and yet, if you read the news paper, and watch television for one second, it the Paris Hilton’s and the Lindsay Lohan’s of the world that I are screwing up in the public eye far more often than anyone else. But we, black women, carry on our backs the mistake of ourselves, our children, and even our men.
    I also wanted to comment on one of the posting that Barbie left. This is the epitome of the stereotypes that we are reduced to. We have become a caricature of ourselves, floundering around with hair weaves and bad attitudes. And that’s the point after all, make us the enemy and it is easier to go out and share your success with other races of women. I don’t think that Barbie is a white woman, and think that she is a very confused black man. :hater:

  82. I also wanted to add a correction, the census said that 16% of all marriages are black on black. I have a feeling that black on black crimes might put that number to shame.

  83. nelly i agree with you wholeheartedly, it has become very hard to stick by black men,how can i be loyal to someone who does not hold any kind of loyalty towards me,but at the same time i can’t be to mad at some of my brothers because i know self hatred plays a big part in their actions,the white man has done a great job on us, but when are we gonna wake up? when are we gonna start loving and appreciating each other? and to the guy who said black men can’t catch a break he used the example of the music videos saying we complain about white women or latina’s being in the videos now but when it was us we would complain about being portrayed as skanky hoes or bitches..well let me ask you this why do we have to choose ,it’s like either let us use you in these videos to shake your asses and if you complain then we will use women of other races,but why can’t we just be portrayed as what we are? which is beautiful,intelligent women. why must our own men continue to degrade us? black women i say the same thing some others have said before me,if they are not bound by any loyalty to us then why on earth are we worried about being loyal or bound to them?how soon did they forget when white men was stringing their asses up for even looking at a white woman ,oh and white women were right their with them lying saying that a black man raped them or dared to even look at them,and would be there to cheer on there men while they hung ya’ll in a tree, and guess who would be there grieving… a black woman!!. sista’s do what makes you happy because alot of them(not all) have turned there backs on there god given queens!

  84. :iagree: Nelly I agree with you 100%. It’s not about jealousy or hating a term that is so losely mis-used in the community. But rather it’s about respecting and embracing each other for the beautiful person that God has created us to be.

  85. [quote comment=”7873″]:iagree: Glad someone came out and said the damn thing!

    Though i think the light-skinned less-nubian featured (and i paraphrase from an article written about beyonce- it’s just polite way of saying, less black) sistas will always be around, just because they’re seen as being ‘exotic’ and if you’re not white, be exotic, they’re the only two genres of women accepted by western society. Latinos don’t get half as hard a time because of that. :brownsista:[/quote]Its just a movie..

  86. im just sick of all this phony crap with these white females out here…this white girl tried to stART with me today on the street because she was with a black man … i dont spend my time worrying about blACK MEN DATING/MARRING WHITE GIRLS I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH MY TIME… IF YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE OF ANOTHER RACE FINE, BUT WHEN YOU START MAKING COMMENTS ABOUT HOW ITS THE BLACK WOMANS FAULT YOUR WITH A WHITE GIRL ITS A LOAD OF B-S!!!!! ITS NOTHING WE CAN DO TO MAKE YOU RUN TO HER ,YOUR WITH HER BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE! WE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! JUST BE A MAN AND ADMIT IT!!!! I HAD TO LIGHT THIS HEFFA UP TOO.. I CAN TELL BY WHAT SHE WAS SAYING THAT PATHETIC POOR EXCUSE FOR HALF A MAN JUST A NO GOOD SON OF A DOG TALKS ABOUT BLACK WOMAN TO HER IN A NEGATIVE WAY ..SAYING HOW HE ALREADY TOLD HER BLACK FEMALES ARE GOING TO BE JEALOUS WHEN THERE OUT TOGETHER, HOW THEY CAN GIVE THEM PRETTIER BABIES I SAID WITCH PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THAT CREATURE YOU HAVE IN THAT STROLLER AND TELL ME WITH A STRAIGHT FACE SHES CUTE- SHE HAD TEARS ON THE RIMS OF HER EYES.. WHEN I CALLED HER BABY BLACK SHE ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK.HER BABY WAS THE SAME COLOR AS TAYE DIGGS BECAUSE THE GUY SHE WAS WITH WAS THAT COMPLEXION SHE TRIED TO SAY HER DAUGHTER WAS “BI-RACIAL” I SAID WITCH PLEASE SHES BLACK AS MIDNIGHT”..NOT SAYING ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH BEING DARKSKIN BECAUSE ITS BEAUTIFUL BUT WHEN YOUR A WHITE WOMAN WALKING DOWN THE STREET WITH A BLACK BABY IT LOOKS OUT OF PLACE… I HOPE SHE DOESNT RAISE THE CHILD TO HATE BLACK WOMAN BECAUSE HER DAUGHTER WILL BE RECONIZED AS BLACK WOMAN WHEN SHE GROWS UP.. I KNOW SHE DIDNT WANNA EXCEPT THE FACT THAT SHE GAVE BIRTH TO A BLACK BABY BUT I TOLD HER TO LOOK AT HER.. WHEN THEY REACHED THE CORNER SHE WAS WIPING HER EYES THATS WHAT SHE GETS FOR TRYING TO START TROUBLE ..THESE BLACK MEN NEED TO STOP TALKING ABOUT US THE WAY THEY DO.. YOU WANNA DATE THEM MORE POWER TO YOU JUST LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE … I LOST MY BLESSING TODAY BECAUSE OF THIS WENCH… I SAID LORD IM SO SORRY… PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR HALF OF THE STUFF I SAID TO THIS WENCH… :loser:

  87. This is why you must ignore these people and not give them your power. Black men like the kind she was with need validation all day every day. They are not happy that a White woman wants them, they need to feel we want them too. So when they see us ooking, staring or rolling our eyes- that gives them power and importance. The Black man continues to think he is God’s gift to the planet and the White woman is feeling just as superior as she think she has what you want. Black men always teach their White women to hate Black women and the White woman, who is racist by nature, is more than happy to accept this and lash out as Black women who don’t even pay her any mind. Whenever I see an interracial couple consisting of a Black man and White woman I always smile. This takes away their power and lets’s them know I could giveafuk.

    Quick story. About six or so months ago I broke a nucca down in the laundromat. He and his big fat White woman were sitting next to me and purposely struck a convo with me as they had been eying me all night. Finally he spoke first and after some small talk about what was playing on TV he got down to it.

    He told me I was the nicest Black woman he had met in a while and that he and his wife thought I would be menacing when they saw me (WTF). He went on about how sistas give him and his wife the evil eye and make comments and even become threatening to his wife. Well I am no fool and knew the game he was trying to play. Btw, his wife never said a word to me. Anyway, I broke this nucca down by telling him how in favor I was of IRR relationships and was in one myself. I started to speak of the ills of Black people, but I kept it all on things that only brothas do, you know abandoning their kids, crime, killing each other, the drop out, unemployment rate, and so forth. I went on and on about this nicely and finished up by telling him what a pleasure it was to meet a good brotha like him.

    Girl the entire time I talked I felt him die-ing next to me. I was literally draining the life outta him without ever sounding angry or bitter. He didn’t expect that. He thought I was a sista who would allow him to sit their and down Black woman while I just took it or played polite. He didn’t expect me to come out pro IRR and claim to be involved one myself (I am not though). He and his wife were not fed by me and they couldn’t wait to get away from me. They both went to check their laundry, she then him, and oddly enough they didn’t come and sit back down next to me. Instead they sat on the other side of the laundry mat.

    Other Black women must learn to deactivate these people as well. Truth is they feed off of Black women’s pain and unhappiness. Don’t feed the pig ladies. Smile a wide smile when you see them coming, smile at the White women, not the Black man. Smiling at him may make him think you want him. Just whatever you do, don’t give them your power and energy. Don’t age yourself sweating sick Black men like him. Put that time and energy into seeking out men of all races who want you too.

  88. :brownsista: I tell this story a lot…I’ve blogged about it on Myspace.

    I went to school with the most beautiful brown skin, jet black hair (had to be half indian or something)…but I didn’t care what she was mixed with because even with her long black “semi-good hair” (I use that term cause ya’ll know what good hair is…), she was MY COMPLEXION. she never got the adoration she deserved.

    “Telina” was a working model and can be seen in a Blackstreet video (and they were singin’ about HER, she was the girl that was so FINE!). She also got lead model parts in an LL video and a Puff Daddy video. BUT THAT WAS 1996…

    In Los Angeles, where we went to highschool she was given no credit for her accomplishments nor was her beauty validated before her peers through her ability to land these respected roles in music videos. NEVER was there a butt clappin’, booty shakin’, from the neck down shot taken of this girl.

    Then there was her best friend, “Janet”. “Janet” was also a model and she was much lighter. Not a day went by when she wasn’t praised for her beauty. I remember asking myself, “Are these people blind?”

    I want to know WHY light is right. If she were in a entire school of brown skin women, she’d be crowned beauty queen… but by throwing one average lighter skinned woman in the pool of women she couldn’t compete.

    As a brown skinned girl, it hurts. I saw a couple people write “It’s sad.” Sad doesn’t begin to touch on what experiences like that do to a young girl’s self esteem. And on graduation, when she was boo’d as she walked across the stage and as they chanted the words to a Tupac song, “Every other city we go/ every other video/ no matter where I go/ I see them same Hoes”, :bag: I am sure she was humiliated. The thing is, she and I weren’t close friends so she never knew how that affected me. She didn’t show any pain. I cried for her and for myself that day.

  89. this is very worrying. i worry terribly about our future if we spend so much time writing about music videos, skin colour and looks. why can’t we do our forefathers justice and discuss politics, economics, law the economy and environment – the real injustices in this world. Let’s make a real difference for us and our children and refocus our attentions to something that really matters. not just the materialist things.

    the comments and views seem to be so focused on materialistic issues. at the end of the day music and films should be something for enjoyment/entertainment, but not something that rules our thoughts, looks even lives. have we become so illiberal and narrow minded to forget the bigger picture?

  90. If you think Black people will ever be able to move to a point of economic empowerement while hating each other then you need to think again. When people like you try to get our people to not discuss this issue and confront it, the first thing I think is that this issue must be beneficial to you and thus you have no problem with it. Let things stay as they are you seem to say. Also, if this conversation didn’t suit your tastes, why didn’t you just stay out of it. This isn’t the place to get all off topic and talk about what you want to talk about or what you think we should talk about. Leave us be.

  91. :iagree: Thank you Rachel. Very well said. :dance2:

  92. To: Zills,

    Oprah is helping young women in Africa and many of them don’t even have parents anymore. It took a lot of balls for Oprah to publicly announce that she would be opening an all girl school. She is very interested in building a society where black women are in power. That’s why she personally interviewed all of these girls…and they have the potential to control things. Maybe she would love to just pack up and move away with all of her money, but where could she go where she would be respected as much as she is by whites in America?

    As for Will Smith, he also had Regina King in Enemy of the State. We know that if you are Denzel, Jamie or Will today, that you can choose your co-star. We also know that men love variety. I’m fine with any man who can appreciate the beauty in women of all ethnicities. It’s the one’s who say they only date a particular race, that bother me.

  93. hey stephanie your right this chick made me so upset i couldnt even think straight..i just went off on her ..she said some really derogatory things about us beautiful black queens i lost my temper.. i dont stare at irr couples .. cause i dont care.. to tell you the truth im sick of black men and there crap.. i know men of other races are no angels either but sometimes black men give you too much they irk me.. i had a wonderful day today .. there were plenty of white girls today trying to test my patience but i gave them my :booty: to kiss.. they stare at me all the time just all in my face.. always asking me where do i come from or what is that hairstyle your wearing called? cause my hair is really long so when i dont feel like combing it i wear it in a doobie they stare at me like im an alien that just landed from another planet with two heads, they irk the hell out of me girl..some of them have been nasty about it then i tell them off – looking at me or saying something derogatory to lol then its over with, im working on it stephanie lol my temper is volcano hot!!!! im a work in progress … but stephanie i went out today with one of my friends whos a white male and so many black men give me the dirtiest looks ive ever seen in all my life .. they was saying what i want with this white boy and didnt they rape you enough back in the days.. i said if thats not the teapot calling the kettle black.. didnt the white woman accuse of raping them and five min later you black men were hanging from a tree lynched on fire with one of your ears cut off? or they would whip your asses til you begged for death? or if they “thought” you black men where “looking” at one of there white woman they would beat you till they couldnt beat you any more what about that?all (8) of them fell silent 😆 i said thats what i thought :hater:s hes not my bf not that i would have to explain myself to you anyway but mind your business i can date him if i choose to. hes a nice guy,gorgeous as hell ,makes extremely good money,has a solid education, makes my laugh and is more of a man than youll ever be.. you black men arent thinking about black woman when your trying to talk to any ole white girl or any other race of woman you can get your hands on ,not even attractive ones just ANY ole white/other race of girl is it a problem.. NO ITS NOT! so go and sit your dumb selves down somewhere they all felt less than a brown penny 😆 they were such :loser:s but other than that little mishap i shopped till i dropped :dance: :mrgreen: :dance1:

  94. Is it ever ok to lose onself in such hatered that we are blind, failing to see what we have become, pushover we do not voice our opinons out side of these sites have we forgot our history we came from a strong people who out smarted, outloved those who choose to keep us down we have such a rich history and its sad that when i say history, i mean not even 50years ago yet we are so quick to be comfortable in our postion. What is our position do you know that your grandparent made sure to vote, because they finally could yet there was no uproar when those “black people” in FL were rapped of their right to vote, and when our young black males make the same mistakes as their white counterparts they are slapped with felonies which then turn around and rap about like its a medal of honor, not relizing that thier power has been stripped, yeas i says these things and i’m not juding anyone because i am a hypocrite. What i do know it that we once stood for something now we fall for anything and call it hip hop. HOW SAD no time to proof read hope you get the message, it was written with love

  95. i agree. We have got lost in many ways due to modern conflict, our own insecurities, lack of brotherly support and the comments of our brothers and sisters who accuse us of hating when they are hating more than anyone else. We really need to be strong and develop and promote ourselves no matter the exact shade of our skin. We have been blessed with beautiful bodies, strength, wisdom and forsight. Actions speak louder than words and we need to help ourselves and our families by keeping the faith and working hard and encouraging those around us. I think with education we can really do well because we have already been blessed with physical beauty. knowledge is power and as beautiful, intelligent women we need to block out all the ‘haters’ and pursue our own goals by educating ourselves and our families so that even when we are not around they will uphold our rights and promote us to the higher level that we really deserve. In relation to black men chosing lighter skin ladies, then if that’s their choice so be it. It’s their loss at the end of the day. We also have a choice and there is no law that says we can’t use it…..

  96. [quote comment=”8017″]..Not all black men. A lot of them are trying to get away from White women. Like my man! His mom is white and he’s dated White and Spanish and in the end he wanted a Black women.

    S DOT.. I NOTICED YOU SAID YOUR MAN AND NOT YOUR HUSBAND TYPICAL TALK FROM A BLACK WOMAN.. ALWAY WILLING TO GIVE THE MILK AWAY FOR FREE INSTEAD OF MAKING HIM BUY THE WHOLE COW

    SO TYPICAL..LOL
    WHEN YOU CAN CALL HIM YOUR HUSBAND AND NOT YOUR LOVER RESPOND TO ME IN THE MEANWHILE YOU MAY BE HIS LAST CHOICE MAYBE IT WAS CHEAPER TO CHOOSE YOU OR LET ME GUESS THIS IS “YO BABY DADDY” :loser:[/quote]

    :lol2: S.Dot really deserved this. I read some of her other posts on other blogs and she is a very ignorant and stupid person. Three different people have put her in her place about shacking with her baby daddy. She is the type of woman that men use for sex then dump. Better known as a bed wench.

  97. ^^ Marcus, that wasn’t called for. Pulling a comment from another article and posting it here just to put S.Dot down isn’t cool.

    I’d rather see a young mother and father raising their child together under one roof as a family than to see one or the other parent not involved in the child’s life at all.

    So folks that I’m off topic, but I had to speak up.

  98. [quote comment=”8546″][quote comment=”8017″]..Not all black men. A lot of them are trying to get away from White women. Like my man! His mom is white and he’s dated White and Spanish and in the end he wanted a Black women.

    S DOT.. I NOTICED YOU SAID YOUR MAN AND NOT YOUR HUSBAND TYPICAL TALK FROM A BLACK WOMAN.. ALWAY WILLING TO GIVE THE MILK AWAY FOR FREE INSTEAD OF MAKING HIM BUY THE WHOLE COW

    SO TYPICAL..LOL
    WHEN YOU CAN CALL HIM YOUR HUSBAND AND NOT YOUR LOVER RESPOND TO ME IN THE MEANWHILE YOU MAY BE HIS LAST CHOICE MAYBE IT WAS CHEAPER TO CHOOSE YOU OR LET ME GUESS THIS IS “YO BABY DADDY” :loser:[/quote]

    :lol2: S.Dot really deserved this. I read some of her other posts on other blogs and she is a very ignorant and stupid person. Three different people have put her in her place about shacking with her baby daddy. She is the type of woman that men use for sex then dump. Better known as a bed wench.[/quote]
    Ok then let him leave! It’s no problem, MARCUS!

    I’m OK with my self. Plus I’m GLAD I brought my daughter in this world instead of having abortions and not being a responsible WOMEN! Oh and My MAN is a responsible man because trust me if he didn’t want to be with my Daughter and I he woundn’t be.

    But the questions is will I allow a man to use me NO! You can call me what you want. My child has her mother, father, and most of all LOVE! Something you and YOUR DUMB ASS can never ever knock from me!

    I’ll shack up wiht my MAN as long as I want too! The thing you don’t know is IT’S MY CHOICE!

    So Pappi get a life and stay out of mine. Like how old was that post!!!????

    CORNY Little D*** MOVE on you MARCUS! :hater: Go make some money or something and stay off a women’s BLOG unless your trying to be one! 🙂

  99. Pretty Parker! thank you! But like my cousin told my Man and I yesterday were always going to have a lot of haters and people that don’t understand what’s going on in my household. We just bought a Mercedes Benz and my man brought it home yesterday. So you can Imaging the HATERS! Instead of appreciating that were making it work OUR WAY!

    So you know what…..let him HATE! I’m still making my moves and my fam and I will continue to get the blessings

  100. 😆 I saw that coming a mile away. Let’s not get any back and forth started today. S.Dot, you had your say, now walk away sista.

  101. ^^ So right!

    You know what! I need to know what is so wrong with how I’m living.

    A man leave a women when she’s preggie and with child…THERE CHILD and your get talked about.

    A couple is together being responsible for about their situation and you still get hated on!

    So what would it be better if I say I’m a single mother no one helps me. I’m stuggling and my man left me. That’s what everyone wants to hear. But I know MADDDDDD couples that live together with their kids and are HAPPY and the kids are even happier!

    Be happy were trying and hopefully one day I’ll accept his engagement!

    But I need to know why everyone ready to hate on that? Were trying and my people just hate! LOVE IT! Yeah I’m done, Pretty Parker DONE!

  102. [quote comment=”8554″]^^ So right!

    You know what! I need to know what is so wrong with how I’m living.

    A man leave a women when she’s preggie and with child…THERE CHILD and your get talked about.

    A couple is together being responsible for about their situation and you still get hated on!

    So what would it be better if I say I’m a single mother no one helps me. I’m stuggling and my man left me. That’s what everyone wants to hear. But I know MADDDDDD couples that live together with their kids and are HAPPY and the kids are even happier!

    Be happy were trying and hopefully one day I’ll accept his engagement!

    But I need to know why everyone ready to hate on that? Were trying and my people just hate! LOVE IT! Yeah I’m done, Pretty Parker DONE![/quote

    No one is hating on you. They are stating true facts about you. You don’t know what hating means. You are ignorant if you think that someone is hating on a messed up arrangement like yours. There are a lot of single women that don’t have a child out of wed lock and have the Mercedes benz that they bought on their own. They have all the material possessions you have then some they have their morals. I feel sorry for you you are in denial about your messed up life. :loser:

  103. Ok you feel sorry for me! GOOD, now can you say something NEW! You feeling sorry for me isn’t stopping my life or my shine!

    I see you just wanted to fight or PICK a fight with some one! Oh and Guess what it’s me!! Well fight and pick by your self. At the end of the day, I’m taking care of by myself and my man. In which We take care of our Princess!!!!! BTW she’s just so happy and loveable! Next time let’s talk about what’s important and that my child has US BOTH!!!!

    God bless and take care!! 🙂

  104. S. Dot no one is trying to stop your life. You need some anger management classes. You do not take constructive critcism very well. Why would I want to pick a fight with you? You are crazy but it’s ok I still think that you are a loser at this point in your life. :loser:

  105. Yo Son Your MADDD PYSCHO!

    Trust and Know you did dig in the crates to continue a fight that had nothing to do with you. You added your comments MADD LATE and on a whole diffrent post! So if you were trying to START DRAMA and OLD DRAMA why bring it up NOW! You had your chance 2 or 3 weeks ago!

    …Plus WHY would I would listen to constructive critisim from You!!! A follower!! NO THANK YOU!!!

    Plus, Follower how are giving me GREAT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM if all your doing is Attacking me!? And trying to provoke me to argue with some one who hated on me! WHAT EVER!

    ..Plus who that hell are you or any one else to Judge me? Because no one here is perfect or GOD! STEP OFF, get a life and stop being a old post FOLLOWER!!!!!!!!
    :lol2:

  106. [quote comment=”8564″]S. Dot no one is trying to stop your life. You need some anger management classes. You do not take constructive critcism very well. Why would I want to pick a fight with you? You are crazy but it’s ok I still think that you are a loser at this point in your life. :loser:[/quote]

    Just Madd Corny for trying to start drama when none was needed! JUST PLAIN CORNY and uncalled for!

    GET A LIFE!!!! Because it’s nothing you can say that could touch mine! CORNBALL

  107. [quote comment=”8566″]Yo Son Your MADDD PYSCHO!

    Trust and Know you did dig in the crates to continue a fight that had nothing to do with you. You added your comments MADD LATE and on a whole diffrent post! So if you were trying to START DRAMA and OLD DRAMA why bring it up NOW! You had your chance 2 or 3 weeks ago!

    …Plus WHY would I would listen to constructive critisim from You!!! A follower!! NO THANK YOU!!!

    Plus, Follower how are giving me GREAT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM if all your doing is Attacking me!? And trying to provoke me to argue with some one who hated on me! WHAT EVER!

    ..Plus who that hell are you or any one else to Judge me? Because no one here is perfect or GOD! STEP OFF, get a life and stop being a old post FOLLOWER!!!!!!!!
    :lol2:[/quote]
    S.Dot you are really ignorant. I have stated that I am new to this site and went back and read the topics for may. I also made the comment that June just came in. So I am not late I am new. Once again who am I following? You are not a leader yourself. You are a superficial bitch that think material possessions make you someone. Doesn’t that type of mentality sound typical of a vast majority of people in society? The answer is yes so you my dear are a follower. And if you are not a follower why do you have to talk about material possessions to make you seem superior? So ask yourself the self help question what are you trying to validate or acheive by doing this? Also if you think that I am responding to your posts to start drama whya re you responding back? See I told you that you are ignorant and it shows. Don’t try to bring God into the equation you hypocrit you were not thinking about him when you were putting his child down. So in conclusion sweetie take your advice and get a life you are silly. :loser:

  108. How do I get this thing to stop emailing me everytime someone leaves a comment. I am over this, and the longer this goes on, the more annoyed I get and the more emails too. My inbox is filled with bitching about nothing. Man are man, they want what they want, get over it and get a man else where. I hear that there are plenty of men in this country, let’s stop following around the ones who don’t want us. Please help me get the emails out of my box. Thanks.

  109. [quote comment=”8591″][quote comment=”8566″]Yo Son Your MADDD PYSCHO!

    Trust and Know you did dig in the crates to continue a fight that had nothing to do with you. You added your comments MADD LATE and on a whole diffrent post! So if you were trying to START DRAMA and OLD DRAMA why bring it up NOW! You had your chance 2 or 3 weeks ago!

    …Plus WHY would I would listen to constructive critisim from You!!! A follower!! NO THANK YOU!!!

    Plus, Follower how are giving me GREAT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM if all your doing is Attacking me!? And trying to provoke me to argue with some one who hated on me! WHAT EVER!

    ..Plus who that hell are you or any one else to Judge me? Because no one here is perfect or GOD! STEP OFF, get a life and stop being a old post FOLLOWER!!!!!!!!
    :lol2:[/quote]
    S.Dot you are really ignorant. I have stated that I am new to this site and went back and read the topics for may. I also made the comment that June just came in. So I am not late I am new. Once again who am I following? You are not a leader yourself. You are a superficial bitch that think material possessions make you someone. Doesn’t that type of mentality sound typical of a vast majority of people in society? The answer is yes so you my dear are a follower. And if you are not a follower why do you have to talk about material possessions to make you seem superior? So ask yourself the self help question what are you trying to validate or acheive by doing this? Also if you think that I am responding to your posts to start drama whya re you responding back? See I told you that you are ignorant and it shows. Don’t try to bring God into the equation you hypocrit you were not thinking about him when you were putting his child down. So in conclusion sweetie take your advice and get a life you are silly.

    :loser:[/quote]
    Great!!!

    Over you! Follower! Now argue with yourself. Everyone see’s and know your an follower and a you just wanted to argue with Me for some odd reason. So enjoy! This is a positive site. Can you try to do that?

    :mrgreen: Have a good one Marcus Darling! 🙂

  110. [quote comment=”8594″]How do I get this thing to stop emailing me everytime someone leaves a comment. I am over this, and the longer this goes on, the more annoyed I get and the more emails too. My inbox is filled with bitching about nothing. Man are man, they want what they want, get over it and get a man else where. I hear that there are plenty of men in this country, let’s stop following around the ones who don’t want us. Please help me get the emails out of my box. Thanks.[/quote]

    I’m sorry for all the email! I just don’t know why this dude came out of the no where starting with me. I had to defend myself.

    I’m sure he’s going to continue to be rude and just disrespectful for NOTHING so trust…..I’m done with the rudeness and back to the positive blog that we all enjoy.

    🙂

  111. Hi, I totally agree with this article. I have 2 brothers and a nephew. My older brother is married to a light skinned sista, his son is living with a mixed lady, and my younger brother is married to a white lady. I broke up with my sons father because he got involved with a white lady among other women. My nephew tells me that I have a problem with skin color. I advised him that I don’t have a problem with the color of a persons skin. I think that all people are beautiful it they are beautiful on the inside. All of the women that I just mentioned are beaufiful women, very down to earth, lovable, faithful and loyal people.
    However, I must admit that in our music, videos, movies and TV shows there is a lack of DARK complected sistas. WE come in all shades of brown, black, light skinned tones and all. There are some very talented, mature, educated, interesting and DYNAMIC BLACK SISTAS IN THIS WORLD. Some black brothers only want us at home to cook, clean and make love to. But when it is time to be out, they want a light complextion lady with them, if not white. When I think of music Ms. India Arie always comes to mind, just like Meather Headley, Angie Stone, Kelly Price, Jill Scott and so many more. Also notice some of this sistas are also HEALTHY LOOKING SISTAS. But that is another story!!!!! There is no way the rest of the world will accept us if we do not accept ourselves. Many of the black men that do the videos and music are from families where the women are dark skinned and on the heavy side. WE STILL ARE BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN, AND THE ENTIRE WORLD NEEDS TO RECOGNIZE!!!!!!!!!! :brownsista:

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