I’ve always known that I would want to experience motherhood one day, God-willing. However, I want a family unit. It’s only right to have my future child’s last name before my child is even conceived. This would give me a better feeling about entering this new stage in my life. It shows that the man that I’m going to share this life-long commitment with has chosen me out of all the other women, past, present, and future. Most importantly, it shows that I’m his CHOICE, not just the mother of his child.
If some husbands use that reference, I see it as being playful because it’s obvious that the wives aren’t just the baby mama. In Jay-Z’s new song, “On the Run (Part II)” featuring his beautiful wife Beyonce, he calls her his baby mama. I thought it was cute because they’ve been married for years prior to her unfortunate miscarriage and Little Miss Blue. Plus we know what she means to him. So the lyric flowed. I also thought about the fact that they could have engaged in premarital sex before the marriage, but it no longer matters because they made it right and tied the knot.
While sharing this with you ladies, I will admit that I’m no saint. But I still reach for perfection no matter how much I mess up. That’s what God wants us to do. I used to say that it was okay to have sex as long as I was in a relationship. I was soooo clueless. I was doing something that I had no business doing. Even though I was an adult, it didn’t permit me to take part. The law doesn’t have a minimum age limit for sex, but God has a simple rule as to who can and who can’t. It may be a long time before I get married. Marriage may not be in His plan for me at all. Either way, I’m not doing it again until my honeymoon night. Love making is supposed to come AFTER marriage, it represents a physical expression of love for one another.
Since I believe that sex is married people’s business and no one else’s, I understand that being in a relationship means you’re still single. It’s a trial stage, so why have sex and take the risk of possibly co-parenting with someone forever if you’re not 100% positive that you want to be with them forever? If forever is in your plan, then why not get married?
When talking to people about this topic, I get a lot of, “just use condoms, use birth control, etc.” That’s sounds good and everything but, contraceptives are man-made which means that they’re flawed. Not only that, but they stop people from fulfilling one of the reasons why we’re here, to reproduce. Society has taken this beautiful experience between two people that are now one and devalued it into an activity that you do when you “get the urge.” Too many babies are born out of wedlock and/or unexpected, and I want my future children to know that not only did God want them here, but mommy and daddy did too.