Valentine’s Day Blues Or Butterflies?

It’s right around the corner and you’re either excited about it, miserable or you almost forgot about it.  Valentine’s Day is the most celebrated romantic day out there and that alone brings a lot of pressure.  I remember a few years ago when my stepmom said, “Ashley you need to settle down soon, Valentines Day is in a few months!” She was dead serious!

As a woman, Valentine’s Day used to be a big deal.  I’d sit around wondering what my guy was going to surprise me with AND what I was going to surprise him with.  Yes, I said it – its not just a chick holiday.  After weeks of trying to outdo him, the actual day would be full of surprises and then it’d be all over.  We’d spend 364 days of the year sitting around looking dumb (Antoine Dobson voice).  Just kidding, but I know people like that.  So from those kind of lessons I learned that making someone feel special is a 365 day gig and random ‘just because’ gestures are more meaningful than one day of rubbish. Hmm mmm!

Some people, especially some guys, hate Valentine’s Day.  Why?  Because it’s a commercial scam!  At the same time, its important to get your significant other something, even if its small because we’re human and when we see everyone else being woo’d we’re expected to get a little envious, we’re all human.  So guys, sometimes you have to make a small sacrifice and ladies, you’re just going to have to understand–especially if he does ‘just because’ things.

So check it, I’m going to run through what you could possibly do on Valentines Day.

If You’re In a Relationship or Dating:
Ladies: Like I said, Valentine’s Day isn’t a chick holiday.  Use this opportunity to get your boo a new scent, some new underclothes, a new game or CD.  I love gift baskets!  They’re perfect when you want to give a little of their favorite everythings (Channel your inner Oprah).  Or if you’re feeling bold, take him to a shooting range! Shots fired!

Guys: Of course there’s always the roses, card, candy and bears.  Blah.  Check with your girl.  Personally, I hate candy and bears and I could do without the card.  Think about changing it up.  Cook her dinner and pamper her for a night or do something with her that’s she always wanted to do, like a cooking class together or full body massage! Loves it!

If You’re Single and Dateless: Don’t sweat this holiday.  I’d grab all of my single friends, a nice bottle, a Wii and have a ball.  Do something special for yourself if the holiday is getting to you.  You don’t need someone to make you feel loved or beautiful.  I’m so serious!

Whatever you decide, remember Valentine’s Day is really about love or like and a whole lot of lust lol.  Just try to make each other happy.  I always say, “Make love not war. Amen.”

So whether you have the blues or butterflies know that Valentine’s Day is just one day and you have the rest of the year ahead of you!

-Ashley Charisma is the author of School of Black Love. For more info on Ashley Charisma and the novel visit

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  1. This holiday is always cool with me. I never let it stress me but I admit to not knowing quite what to do when I am with a new guy and this holiday comes around. I actually try not to start new relationships around Christmas or Valentine’s Day because the question of whether or not to give a gift is always iffy.

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