Want A King? Then Be A Queen!

I’ve often heard women say, I’m looking/waiting for my King.  I’m not sure if I ever spoke those words out of my mouth; however, I certainly thought them.  I also questioned WHY my King had not yet appeared.  As I began to do some soul searching (and cleansing), I realized that my King had not yet appeared because I had yet to acknowledge myself as a Queen.  Now I’m not saying that I was/am not a Queen, I’m saying that I didn’t KNOW I was a Queen.  Therefore, I was not presenting myself in a Queenly manner.  And if I was not presenting myself as a Queen how would my King EVER find me?

We (women) say we want a man who:

1. Is spiritually grounded – Going to the church of your choice every Sunday does NOT in no way make you spiritually grounded.  Now this is not to say you shouldn’t attend the church of your choice whenever you choose.  However, keep in mind that YOU are the church.  Your body is the temple. Therefore, you carry ‘church’ with you no matter where you go.  Whether it be to a physical church or the club.  You take church with you.  You ARE church.   A King that is spiritually grounded will not defile his temple to create a union with someone who does not recognize that they themselves are a temple as well.

2.  Is financially stable – I suggest you take a look at your bank statement.  If every month you have more going out in NSF fees than you deposited, the likelihood of you attracting a King who has his finances together is slim to none.  Anyone who is wealth conscious is not likely to take a risk on a KNOWN bad investment.  And if you are not handling your money, you are a bad investment.  Not to mention if you can’t handle YOUR money, you certainly will run through his.

3.  Will take care of you –  If you say you want a King who will take care of you, you first have to SHOW him how.  And if you don’t eat well, don’t exercise (your body AND your mind) you are showing him that YOU don’t care about you.  So why should he?  If you mistreat your own body, you will most likely mistreat his.

4.  Is mentally stable – Mental health is not something that is talked about openly.  Yeah we make the occasional comments…he’s not right in the head, he’s crazy, something’s ‘wrong” with him.  Truth of the matter, there are quite a few people who experience mental illness.  I define mental illness as a psychological or behavioral disorder that disrupts a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others and daily functioning.  One mental illness that may affect your quest for your King is CO-DEPENDENCY.  Many people do not think of co-dependency as a mental illness; however, co-dependency can be debilitating to both you and your potential partner.  King’s create and rule kingdoms.  They can not be subject to the insecurities that co-dependency creates.

5.  Is family oriented – As a mother of 3 children, I understand the importance of finding a King who will not only respect my relationship with my children, but will also build a positive relationship with them as well.  When choosing a partner, I always considered whether or not that man would be ‘good’ for me AND my children.  Yeah, I’ve misjudged that a few times.  However, it was and still is on my list.  With regards to family, I have learned that it is NOT my King’s duty to take care of my ENTIRE family.  There will be times when you have to stand up to your family and say NO.  As a Queen one of your privileges is to take care of your King.  Don’t allow anyone, including your family, to mistreat or misuse him.

Last, but certainly not least….

6.  Is attractive – The old saying….’beauty is in the eye of the beholder’, holds true today.  It is a person’s appearance (physical looks) that cause us to take a second (or even third) glance their way.  Something about them ‘attracts’ us.  Could be his eyes, his hands, the way he smiles.  Or it could be how he makes that suit (or pair of jeans) look good!!!!!  No one can deny that physical attraction can be tempting and downright powerful.  My advice to my fellow Queens….keep the attraction ALIVE.  If you have truly found your King, he wants you to be adorned.  And sometimes the best adornment is what God, Allah, Jah, Yaweh, gave you from birth…..nakedness.  Not just physical nakedness, but emotional nakedness as well.  Lower your walls of protection.  You just might find your King standing in wait right behind them.

Putting on my crown,


© Copyright 2010/11/03  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved


  1. this is one of the best articles ive read on this site in a very long while. thank you for this.

  2. This morning Michael Jackson’s children were featured. They are beautiful! His daughter’s eyes are fascinating & she wants to go into movies. Grandmother is a good caregiver.

  3. Wow! This article opened my eyes. I mean it truly. It’s so relevant to my life right now.

  4. Well alright!

    Very nice article indeed.
    So nice I might actually read it again. LOL


  5. This is an awesome blog!!! However when you are a woman of GOD and really is dedicated… HE will teach a you how to love her self, who you is as woman, you purpose in life, among other facets of HIM. This way you will know how to live, what it takes to survive, how to carry yourself, and the things not worth settling or compromising for!

  6. Oh, this was an awesome read for sure! Love, love, loved it!! & the “putting on my crown” bit was a nice touch. …like icing on a cake!

  7. FINALLY, someone who gets it!

    I often tell my single girlfriends if you want a good man, you have to be a good woman. Keep up the good word!

  8. This is a great article. i enjoyed reading and learning from it and will definitely share it as needed with others.

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