What He Said: Why Men Love Freaks But Hate Hoes

It’s no secret that the key to a man’s heart is hidden in the bedroom. Since the dawn of time men have put premiums on the females who know how to “do that lil’ thang we like” no matter what her social status may be. True, there are different levels of mindset when it comes to a women’s sensuality but the overall consensus is that we desire the sexpots more than the plain Janes. Why that is in itself is an interesting questions and one we’ll get to in a minute. First, I wanted to touch on the rise of public displays of skank that have been seen all too often. What’s that about?

With the Superhead Academy opening up back in the day, we saw the booty call recipient becoming famous and striving to make a legitimate name and place for herself. Then the bastard children splintered off into their own school of thought—the Carmen Ortegas, Alana Wyatt-Smiths and Andrea “Kat Stacks” Herrera—and decided not to stick to the script. I’m going to keep it real: all that jumping on Youtube putting your latest creep session on blast is the quickest way to kill any semblance of career you might’ve otherwise achieved. That shows you have no respect for the code, and yes, there is a code, and overall you’re messy. Used to be the side pieces got a baby Benz or a couple jewels and they would do their thing on the under. Now, these bird brains run tell dat faster than Martin and blow up everyone’s spot. Do you realize how much each of Tiger’s sidepieces could’ve come up if they put together a unified front? Each could’ve walked away quietly (the operative word being quietly) with $5M apiece and been STRAIGHT. Even the ugly one. To be completely honest, I’m surprised one of these whistle blowers hasn’t been found in a ditch yet. No, I’m not advocating violence towards anyone but the world didn’t just stop being gangsta overnight. When you wreck homes like that, you destroy a delicate ecosystem that can get that man got for half his trap easily.

So now that we understand the basics of chickenhead logic, let’s get back to why we love freaks but hate hoes. Those aren’t the kind of thoughts that inspire men to make the relationship anything more than a one night exercise. Those bopper-like mannerisms WILL NOT make us wife you up, acknowledge you in public or even return your call. In short. We don’t love, like, admire or think of in a flattering way, a hoe. Just like the garden tool namesake, she’s to be used and put back in the shed. Then why do they exist? And why do men keep getting caught with their pants (sometimes literally) down? Because their necessary. Our girlfriends generally aren’t freaky enough to satiate our carnal desires. We love watching and filming sex tapes. We love watching and involving in ménage a trois. If you permit us, we’d have 12 girlfriends at a time. But you won’t and especially in the married cases, it’d be dangerous to openly pursue something like that. You see, buying a prostitute isn’t appealing knowing what we know about STDs. Not to mention there’s no chase in it, no feelings of conquest. There’s nothing like going out, macking a woman and taking her for the evening only to forget her name in the morning. That’s how the game USED to be. The generation now is too far removed from how things should be and instead entrust their feelings to women who shouldn’t even have access to his real phone number. To make it crystal clear, the wife should be the only one he puts his heart in; the rest just get voracious sex and a maybe a trinket or two. Preferably not.

In closing, I will break down the game and provide you with an action plan to get things back on track. Women, you know if you’re his bottom B or not. Play your role accordingly and keep the relationship on the rails it is supposed to be on. If you’re the wife, and you don’t want your man going outside of the relationship, give him everything he desires in the bedroom within reason. If you find an impasse that just is too much for you to handle, address this with him and help him decide if he needs to move on. Stick by your guns but know that if he does want to move around, that should be the end of it. Trying to bend him too far will result in the second string being called up to play. I know it’s harsh but it’s the truth. Should you be the side piece, keep your mouth closed and let the relationship be what it is. All that extra isn’t necessary—you knew what it was before you came in so keep it the same until you go out. To the fellas, please better recognize the difference between a freak and a hoe. A freak is someone who’d give you the biz on strength of your interactions alone and a hoe is someone with an ulterior motive. You should be able to spot a professional hoe; she works hard to create that enticing package for you. The average freak isn’t as stacked as Karrine Steffans was. Snoop Dogg said it best in “Gin and Juice”. By the way, if you’re wondering why, after all the things Kat Stacks has done to rappers so far, would anyone still have sex with her? Because of the hype. It’s not quite a badge of honor but the intrigue to see if it’s really that good is enough for some guys. Chiefly, impressionable dumb rappers.

Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Brown Sista or it’s management.

Charles the CEO



  1. Nice! I found this article QUITE interesting to say the least. One of the few articles I must say I nearly 100% agree with this certain author on. Normally, I admit, I don’t agree with him as much, but I appreciate the honesty and the perspective. I like to have my personal opinions about how men think and why they do what they do somewhat confirmed. Thanks Mr. CEO?

  2. BOYS don’t know what the hell they want, They are way more confused than women .

  3. To sum it up, men “don’t luv dem hoes” b/c of their inabilities to keep their trap shut and lack of discretion sounds personal.

  4. Sooooo….wouldn’t it be easier to not deal with “hoes”?? Instead of advising these “hoes” to stay in their lane, why not advise MEN to NOT deal with “hoes” all together? For example, If I were a “hoe” and slept around with several partners and, subsequently, contract an STD/HIV, why would I blame the partners?? Yes, they should be clean and get tested, yada, yada, yada. However, I should protect myself by NOT sleeping around!! It seems kind of idiotic to allocate the blame to someone else when I could have controlled my behavior.

    Back to the topic at hand, how, exactly, can one tell between a “freak” and a “hoe”? If “hoes” have deceptive motives, couldn’t they easily pretend to be “freaks”? I have so many question… This confusion is probably why so many men get caught up.

    Anyway, I commend you for your honesty in this article. It’s just disheartening to see no accountability for the actions of men and all the blame attributed to the “hoes” that “do not know their position”.

  5. Empathetic D you are talking too much common sense for men to understand.

  6. I usually appreciate honesty. However, I do NOT appreciate ignorant honesty like this. Foolish men should keep their foolishness to themselves and try to use their small brains to control that thing in their pants instead of lecturing women.

  7. BrownSista please pull this foolishness from your site!! If it’s a constructive article that’s wondering why scummy men are the way they are and why scummy women are the way they are an how to decrease the behavior or shame it, then that would be completely different. However, it’s not. Also, don’t tell me me that somebody was just stating facts. Murders can give detailed, FACTS on how to kill someone and get away with it. Would we or should we support or even thank someone for “facts” and “honesty” like that?? Isn’t this a site designed to uplift and highlight the African-Am. woman?? Now, you may not be able to control all comments, but you can control the articles featured on your site whether they are your views or not.

  8. All I can say is wow. Men are always trying to justify their actions by putting blame on a woman. I get from this article that men can do what they want and we are just homemakers, hoes and freaks and that about sums it up. People cheat because they want and no matter what the woman does if he or she wants to cheat they will do it. Stop blaming women for everything because if a man had any respect for himself he would not put himself out their for vain glory and emptiness that leaves him getting fake praises and people shaking their head wondering why are men so dumb to keep doing everything that leaves them looking as stupid as people think they are. sorry to keep going on and on but it just makes me angry when people blame someone for their willingness to do what they want. so sad. grow up and be a man because a man controls himself a boy is impulsive and only wants his way.

  9. @Honestly. My sentiments exactly. How does this article uplift an African American Woman who is going through so much criticism from we can’t keep a man to we have standards that are too high or we are too ghetto being blasted on respected news programs. Brownsista don’t jump on that bandwagon we get enough blame for everything already and not enough encouragement to counteract the negativity. It is like kicking someone when they are down.

  10. @Subari
    My brother used to always tell me that as long as they will be women desperate enough to do and accept whatever from a man, Men will always mess up. Then he got me thinking what about us? The ones that don’t play that ch-it? What happens to us, since everyone seems to gravitate towards the easy (look the other way participate in threesomes) type of chick? Thankfully i got a man who loves me dearly and doesn’t believe in losing a good woman for a ho, but most women don’t have that and are either single or labelled… It’s pathetic!

  11. and charles or whoever you are this will be my last time reading anything about you, This is brown sista, when how and where an obvious chauvinistic sad excuse for a man came in here i don’t know but i’m out!

  12. When we reach a certain age in live, do we not realize that we don’t get everything we want. “I am a man” isn’t an excuse to think you should get everything you want in the bedroom. You are a grown ass man, who knows live doesn’t always give you what you want and you have to deal with it. Why is SEX excluded from that lesson? Why do you feel everything you want needs to be satisfied in the bedroom or you will either cheat or move on? Grow the hell up… Please!

  13. This article was entertaining as hell and very much pointless as hell. It must have been written in jest…
    “If you find an impasse that just is too much for you to handle, address this with him and help him decide if he needs to move on. Stick by your guns but know that if he does want to move around, that should be the end of it. Trying to bend him too far will result in the second string being called up to play.” Huh?? I need a translator for this one…

    SideBar:I always thought the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. I thought it was foolish to think a man would fall in love with me because “my cookies were particularly tasty”. I thought that was the icing on the cake, I guess not…lmao

    and further more I always thought a “freak” would “do it for you” where as a hoe would “do it for everybody”…
    I guess I really don’t have a clue at all when it comes to men… (lmao)

  14. “This article was entertaining as hell and very much pointless as hell. It must have been written in jest…*

    Thanks Lisa, Couldn’t have said it better myself

  15. Some I agree with and some not…men love hoes, wife them everyday because it is a challenge…there is a chase because there’s no honor among thieves…I was married to a man who’s first wife was a bonifide hoe and it was what I learned he liked…this is just one story, my story…I was just an anomaly he chased until he got what he wanted…I used to question him as to what was the allure of his first wife…women who cheat…what I was able to surmise (cheat’n men don’t give up game or reason)is that he got to compete with the sexual prowess of other men he didn’t even know and the adrenalin of them nearly or clearly catching each other was quite stimulating…he knew what she would do (cheat) and this gave him a sense of comfort!

    I was a puzzle, he would say he never knew what I would do or what to expect…it bothered him how I could change my brand of cigarettes when I smoked or come home with a bag of holistic products, go vegetarian (really to protect my immune system, not that he objected to wearing condoms, always denied cheating and did his dirt during his work day), would decide to go on vacation with my girlfriends or by myself on a whim…he didn’t like taking vacations, even though he traveled for business and I’m sure made it also pleasurable…not that I was boring, he always said he had a ball with me, but he felt I was unpredictable…it wasn’t nearly as interesting knowing that I didn’t cheat, not until the end and he couldn’t take it as he did with his first wife…there was a camera at the entrance of the building and you turn on the TV and see people coming in or who was calling up on the lobby phone or the driveway…he knew it was over when I did cross that line…we soon after separated and later divorced. I thought I had met the “love of my life”…some bonnie and clyde, soulmate stuff and he went on with a chick who reminded me of myself, younger and prettier…being married to me upped his game and he felt more comfortable dating women with more class and found out he could have hoes on a more upscale level and this one was just that…but, in the end I was the one there for him when he got sick, after we both had moved on…after he rebounded from his health challenge he married a woman he didn’t love to get over losing me. I repeated the cycle of loving yet another man that didn’t know what to do with me, successful and wounded…unavailable…they had a child together and I had mine. He thought she was so docile and felt completely in control. We remained friendly, but I kept my distance and with his now third wife and a child he adored, I would bet a king’s ransom that this baby boy, his first and only son wasn’t his child. He waited for me to confirm my doubt, I never did…I was growing up, he was older and I knew he knew the truth.

    Men love hoes and often mess over freaks…nowadays the freak is their woman…I disagree that the freak is some random remote chick…I’ve always had girlfriends who are straight-up freaks, educated with good jobs and they really got dogged out in their 20s until they found out they couldn’t freely share their exhibitionism or sexual freedom with just any joe…only hoes and white girls can do that and get away with it…my take…I really, really appreciate a male perspective…I love listening to men talk about women and relationships…I like hearing it from the source and not so much from other women…we don’t think the same…Charles, this post was indeed refreshing…

  16. OMG Cynthinia, I tried to read all of that but just couldn’t follow girl. But I’move confused than from reading the article, are you calling yourself a hoe???

  17. The Brother was on point. And any self respecting young lady would identify with what he`s trying to convey. Young ladies,a real man wants the women that every mans wants. Not the one that every man has had. That`s the difference between a hoe and a freak. You may get a badge from your friends for a high score but not from a true player unless he`s getting paid.

  18. @Lisa

    Funny…but, understandably confusing I know!

    What I was trying to say was jumbled because nowadays there’re so many conversations, especially, about black women and what men like. My main points were that men do love hoes and often women who are freaks, “w**** in the bedroom and a lady outside” is often frightening to many men who claim they want this. I believe today black women are more sexually inhibited…whether that’s going with the title of freak or free spirit. Personally, I never categorize myself as a freak and definitely not a hoe.

    I’ve had fun!…what I don’t agree with is that sistas are somehow unable to be erotic, sensual, sexually adventuresome…not lewd or trashy…it’s a big misconception…it’s how we individually and collectively view what “a freak” is…it’s not necessarily a negative title…unless it’s something like bestiality, child predators, “Kat Stacks” or “Superhead,” groupies, the hoe down the street, etc…but, a sista who knows how to bring it in the bedroom, work a pole, write a smutty letter or read erotic poetry for her man (no sexting, sex tapes, dirty texting or vulgar face book, keep it private and exclusive), whip out her sex toys, do wonders with honey or can cook a country Sunday dinner on a Tuesday or a sexy breakfast/brunch on a lazy Sunday afternoon (before the game), make fruit smoothies (I’m a smoothie queen!) or cocktails wearing something skimpy, barely there, give a mean hand or foot massage or can simply attentively listen to him and then get physical could be considered a freak… “sexual pleasure”…a way to a man’s heart IS through his stomach along with the other…I believe men want us to listen more and talk less (we talk too much, tell too much), feed them and bang…this doesn’t mean omitting long conversations, discussing world issues or feelings. There is a distinction in the two…but, I believe men go easily go with both!

  19. White women play the game and they listen…this is how she knows how to play him…find out what he is missing to play her hand…not that she isn’t saying to herself “this moron”…I have male friends that date white women and I used to sit in amazement how they pretend with the submission thing…some are because that’s how they were raised…one thing I know for sure…just keep working on yourself, feeling worthy, deserving, good enough and don’t settle or be afraid to say or ask for what you want or expect…LISTEN TO WHAT A MAN SAYS and what men think!!!…because that “he’s just not that into you” is so true…when a man really wants a woman, nothing can stop him…kids, social position, your high paying job, your looks or the lack thereof…he is then “available”…this is what I have learned and if I meet someone wonderful, then great, but if not…I do prefer black men, but am partial or attracted to european or other foreign men…I will still live my life to the fullest…I may sound even more confusing…with Steve Harvey and other male authors telling women what men want and think…can be confusing…I don’t advocate women not respecting themselves…quite the opposite…I always tell friends, if not beg for them not to have sex on the first date or hookup or bring some random man into their kids’ or family lives…even though, I still got duped, I was still treated better…men do look at what you do or did with other people…they want to have a challenge…they don’t want it too easy…what Lyfe Jennings is singing about is true…I work with teens and we do these teen forums and these baggy pants wearing guys will open up and talk about how easy it is and how they respond. The girls respond with how they feel pressured, feel they won’t get or keep him…men are still old fashioned…it’s just that often they suffer from low self-esteem as women…good men fall for women who don’t want them or hoes or women they feel aren’t better than them…when they can have the full package…a good woman and “a freak”…often, they’re frightened and don’t feel worthy and do something to collapse the relationship…

    A long rant I know…but, we sistas need to really get a clearer picture and better play the game instead of just getting played all too often! Be soft, feminine, supportive, wise and have expectations, standards and boundaries! There are good brothas out there, but they may not be as appealing as the “bad boy” or the “dream man” who’s unable to commit because “he’s just not that into you!” LISTEN!!!

    A long rant I know!

  20. wow…this is so sad. just how you said the women in the game have changed, everything has. They can’t hush anymore and you “men” can’t honor and respect your wives anymore. you cant point ya finger in a situation thats just alll wrong, you shouldnt be doing it either. scartch HER lies to find YOU thievs. men be men and love your one and only wives. women be women and love yourselves. when has it because acceptable to not be able to control your sexually urges in order to stay faithful to the one you vowed before God to honor love and respect??? i don’t get it?

  21. Yeah, once again men doing and saying things that would kill their egos to hear woman say. Do men really know who the TRUE players are? lol. Ladies do a lot of ego-sparing, so men don’t really know or want to know WHO wins at this game. It is a game, a game that is played OUT!

    I laugh when I hear dudes walk around beating their chest to ideas that should have long ago been dismantled. If men really want to stop the madness, they themselves have to be the examples. Tables are turning and fast, in this day and age its actually acceptable to be a h**. Therefore, no one lost in these types dealings (they loose spiritually, but for these ppl, does that really matter?) As a mater of fact, the men look VERY stupid and played because they let a piece of booty override intelligence, that says a lot! The woman walks away (being called a H**) with a lil fake status and some sort of come-up (at least). So who is the dummy? In that world, the dude is very much so the DUMMY!

    Men should wise up because if they continue to lead by example in this way, eventually bad things will happen. Women are quickly becoming the “smart” players here.

    So as far as staying in a lane, there is NO HONOR amongst thieves as a commenter said earlier. It is what it is, so deal with it or stop dealing with H**S, DUMMY!

  22. I knew I kept passing this post for a reason.

    First of all, this person has too much ego and false confidence so please tell me why would I pay too much attention to or have a genuine interest in an article written chiefly by owner for owner, namely “Charles the CEO”?

    Second of all, if you mess with a hoe, what exactly are you? And all the “we’s” in this post should have been me’s or I’s. How are you going to ask or give platform to one person to speak about men (plural)? This post should have been titled, One Man’s Perspective: Why Men Love Freaks But Hate Hoes, and even that is reaching.


  23. Why is it that you are an attractive young lady , you get lumped into hoe status. Even worse if that attractive young lady enjoys the pleasures of a sexual relationship she’s again a hoe? society has got to start thinking not judging. OMg the over analysis we do these days is ridiculous.men will cheat women will cheat. A good person doesn’t look a certain way and liking sex doesn’t make you scummy. I can’t wait to meet my man who knows I am beautiful intelligent kind caring loves sex and human.

  24. The first paragraph I found to be annoying and useless, Other than that mistake the article had some good points

  25. Ditto to everyone who realized that this article was idiotic and pointless. No, liking sex does not make you scummy. Making excuses for cheating and then complaining because the woman that HE chose to sleep with won’t keep quiet is what makes him scummy, stupid, and very sad.

  26. Oh yeah, of course any woman who helps a man cheat is just as scummy. Hopefully, they’ll both shut up, grow up, and stick to their commitments or at least walk away first, and have enough self-esteem to find someone who is unattached if they’re the single person involved.

  27. No wonder why its such a high rate of HIV/AIDS among the black community, foolishness like this SMDH in digust

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