With all the recent talk about Super Producer Swizz Beats and his soon to be ex-wife (I guess) Mashonda letting her feelings about Swizzy and Alicia Keys Love rip via twitter a question has arose. If a man starts to date another woman or leaves his wife for another woman, is it the other woman’s responsibility to assure that things are officially over between the wife and husband before she continues or even begins the relationship? In other words, would it have been best for A. Keys to not have began a romantic relationship with Swizzy until they were officially divorced or at least until the ex-wife was aware of the change in his feelings? According to Mashonda, she was under the impression that things in her marriage were fine and she had no reason to worry until she found out he was taking trips with A. Keys. Some are saying that she had to have had an inclination about pending problems with her and Swizzy. However, I believe that it is totally possible that she did not have a clue that her husband was cheating. After all, some women do ignore the signs and perhaps there weren’t any. Who knows what role he played around her versus when he was with A. Keys?
Although I do think that it is the husbands responsibility to be a man and end things with his wife properly before he begins another relationship with another woman, I cannot help but to feel that the other woman plays a role as well. Although I do not think it is her responsibility to end the relationship between the husband and the wife, it is her responsibility to not increase the drama. We live in the real world, and in the real world sometimes you have no control over who you fall in love with. Sh*t happens. I get that. The more essential part is how you handle those feelings. If she knows the man is still in a situation but she is adamant about being with him eventually then she need to fall back and allow him to figure out how he is going to get out of that situation. She should not jump in and further complicate things. This is where A. Keys screwed up. If he really wants to be with the other woman then he will do what’s necessary to see that that happens. If a man wants you then there is nothing that you can do to keep him away. In the same sense if he is has lost interest then there is almost nothing you can do to keep him.
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I am a believer in karma. In other words, if he did it to her, who is to say that it won’t happen to you? There is no guarantee. Him handling things in such a immature fashion would lead me to question if he would one day do the same thing to me. Would I be the next woman crying over him? Love can be a beautiful thing but also a very scary one. It is you putting trust into another person that they won’t intentionally hurt you. If he is knowingly going behind his wife’s back then that trust from me to him would drastically decrease. There are some women who do not give a damn. They want a man. Anyone’s man and do not care how they go about getting him. Trifling, desperate, lost, whatever you want to call them. To those women, I caution you that what goes around comes around. It may not happen right away, it might not happen in the same exact fashion that you did it but it will happen. As my Mother would say, “God does not like ugly”. Take it as a silly adage if you want.
So, in other words, I feel that in this case, Ms. Keys ( or the other woman) should have fallen back and perhaps waited until things were more final or at least he expressed his feelings to his wife before ever beginning a romantic relationship with Swizzy. I understand that when you are in the moment, you do not want to be away from the person, but there is a certain level of selfishness that was expressed by both parties in this case. I hope that for A. Keys sake and any “other woman” that they do not bring more drama and backlash than they expected.