When It Is Time To Say Goodbye

When is it time to say goodbye? When you are in a difficult or strained romantic relationship then people will tell you to leave. They will tell you things like “Don’t stay with that person”, “You deserve better” and so on”. It always seem so easy right? What about if the person who is abusing you is not a friend or a romantic partner but a family member? Not always as easy to rid them from your life. Take Keyshia Cole for example. She emerged from a truly hard life where her Mother was on drugs and had kids spread out in different homes. Kids who each grew up to have their own issues and problems partially because of their broken relationship with their mother.

Years later and Keyshia’s lifestyle has changed and improved drastically. She has also grew as a person and developed in ways that she probably never imagined. So is it now time to let the family members who are not sharing in any type of growth go? What if they are dragging you down emotionally? What if they are placing strain on you mentally with unnecessary drama. This is the dilemma that Keyshia Cole is facing.

She reached back for her family and attempted to bring them with her. For a while it seemed as if they were on the path of inner growth as well. Then somehow, it got halted and the drama ensued. Issues have reemerged and Keyshia’s family have beef with her and feel that she has moved on and disowned them in some way. Allegations of her not giving her nieces and nephews Christmas presents have emerged. It seemed that she was starting to pull away from her family. With the recent letter she wrote about them, it looks like that might be the case. Keyshia seems to think that her family is a strain on her emotionally and while currently pregnant she does not want to inflict that strain on her unborn child.

Is it ever okay to distance yourself from your family? Should you just ride it out to the end? After all, blood is thicker than water. I agree with Keyshia’s decision to distance herself. She has to put herself and child first at this point in her life and I respect that decision. This child will now come before all others in her life and that is the way it should be. Also, sometimes you outgrow people. Now that does not mean that you necessarily should dismiss them from your life completely but I see nothing wrong with distancing yourself from people who bring strain into your life. Family or not. I have even had to make that necessary step for certain family members. So, hell yeah, I salute Keyshia for her strength in relinquishing herself from the role of super save a chick. She has assisted in opening doors to build them up financially and so on. However, any other inner growth has to come from that person. They have to want to do better. That person has to want to grow. It seems as if some of the members of Keyshia’s family are not yet on that path. Keyshia deserves to focus on herself and her child at this point in her life without being attacked by her unappreciative family. Perhaps in the near future they will all come full circle.

Peep Keyshia’s Letter:

“To all my friends and fans,

It’s time that I clear the air. It’s not a secret that I haven’t been in contact with my mother Frankie, and my sisters Neffe and Elite and I never wanted to air out our differences to the public. While I won’t go into detail here I find it necessary to let you guys know I decided to stop communication with them because I was at a point in my life where I needed serenity and peace to move forward. Please know I love my family very much but it was time to let it go. You guys are a witness to a lot of what was happening from watching on air and online. Now that I am becoming a mom my passion for having a loving and peaceful home for my child is my #1 priority. It’s very important to both Daniel and I. My plate is very full; I have a new baby coming, we are planning our wedding and I am working in the studio on a new album that I am close to completing. The stress that my family is giving me with their constant false reports is not healthy and it’s not what I need at this time in my life. Please understand that there are only a few people that can officially confirm or deny anything that’s happening in my life and that’s me, Daniel, and my publicist, Tresa Sanders. And my girl Monica never lies.”

Love Your Girl,


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  1. Toxic people, whether they be a lover or a relative, need to be shown the door.

  2. I may be missing something. What did Neffe do to warrant being kicked to the curb? I understand Frankie crossed the line with her radio interview but I don’t think Neffe has been anything to kind and gracious towards her sister. Didn’t she even name her kid after Keyshia’s adoptive side of the family?

  3. even though blood Is thicker than water I understand why keyshia made the decision she made I mean the reality show show’d It all between all of them…..It comes a point In your life were you have to seperate your self from the unecessary drama( Family or friends)…keyshia Is always saying she love both her moms and her sisters but they need to work out there own issues, I mean one person In the family can not take on so many burdens…I don’t know If things will work out just yet but It won’t happen over night…..frankie Is still set In her ways and nefe and elite are still trying to find there way…PRAYER WORKS!

  4. KC introduced them to the world then got embarrassed by them. she should take ownership in this as well.

    its all good to want to fix family problems but no one said to do it infront of the entire nation…

    but she wanted the ratings like anyone else..

    but hey… do you boo but dotn 100% blame THEM. she knew exactly who they were..

  5. Living proof that “being ghetto” is a state of mind and all of the money in the world can’t fix that..Neffe is trash pure and simple. Frankie has metal problems due to her long term abuse of drugs and alcohol..

  6. The whole situation is very sad. At the end of the day these are human beings with hearts. All must be in pain behind this. When she first reunited with her family, she had to know this was not going to be magically fixed overnight whether in public or private. I am no psychic or psychiatrist but I belive that Frankie’s mouth doesn’t match her heart. I think she wants to do the right thing but drug addiction is an illness. I feel bad that they couldn’t get along. I think Keyshia should take some time to think about her decision to distance herself.I’m sure not everyone in the industry is family-like and has her best intrest at heart. I’ll put it on everything when Hollywood begins to turn their back on her the Neffe will be there. I don’t judge people and label them ghetto but inspite of their behavior I don’t think they were out to destroy her image.

  7. Omg I big her up because it is hard to walk away from those you care about when you are trying to better yourself and protect your household. I live in a different state with you know, more opportunities and because of that I have been able to see life in a different way. I feel myself envolving everyday into a better person however whenever I visit love ones in my hometown I go through “Shifting”. Because our community is so sensitive when one of “us” try to come up. I sometimes feel I have to try harder to show my familly that I dont think I am better than anybody. Despite that people still feel the need to look at me differently. I applaud Keisha for choosing to focus on her life and move on. Its given me the courage to be me regardless of what people think and not feel guilty.

  8. @ Mo’star
    you are right Hollywood can divide and conquer cohesivness when there is an incentive. I dont think Keisha should cut them off completely because you never know who you are going to need in the future. At the same time we do not know all of what goes on behind close doors. Its got to be fustrating after a while. Neffe can barely get her shit together and Franky is a whole nother story. These ladies are grown women and have been given a very generous helping hand from Keisha (unlike most single mothers). Its time for them to help themselves. Ghetto is a state of mind; yeah she cleaned them up but inside is still trash and there is nothing Keisha can do about that. She should move on but keep distant ties because I do believe that Neffe loves her sister and will alway always be there for Keisha as well as Franky. Unforturnately what they need Keisha cannot provide. It’s up to them.

  9. I agree with the above poser who said she put her fam out there and now she’s embarrassed … That is all this is. She knew those heffas were crazy when she signed on to do that show, so I really don’t like the way she’s handling this. But hey, whatever cuts stress out of her life I guess.

  10. i really understant what she’s doing. bcause i am 17 and my family does the same thing as her’s. all she doing is let find they’er own way. on the tv show she tryed to carry them and carry herslef but how can she when they didn’t want to make no life changes they were just stuck in there ways and all the streesing she dosent need it with the baby. i do think she should talk to them after she has the baby and she tooking some much kc time. and why she gotta buy them kids stuff go get a job neff and elite. dang you got a house neffe you should be happy. Stop depending on her she can go broke just like everybodyeles.

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