When you think you have been through something…

Ciara L. Anderson When you think you have been through something…someone else has been through worse.” Those are the words found on one of the pages of “Drowning in a Mother’s Womb,” a true story that chronicles the life of a young woman name Ciara L. Anderson. As a child, Ciara was verbally and physically abused. She was raped, and at age 18, Ciara attempted to end it all. Despite the fact that “Drowning in a Mother’s Womb focuses on some of the darkest days in Ciara’s life; Ciara’s life today can be an inspiration to others. Go on the journey with me as I have a word with author and Ceo of Loyal Publishing, Ciara L. Anderson.

Onetta: “Drowning in a Mother’s Womb” begins with you being hospitalized after your failed suicide attempt at age 18. Throughout the book, you seemed so strong, even though you faced so many obstacles. What was the breaking point for you? Why did you try to end your life?

Ciara: I can’t say that there was a breaking point. The day that I decided to end my life was a day that was like any other day with my mother, except the fact that I was 18 and living on my own. The day I tried to commit suicide I was tired. It wasn’t any particular incident that triggered my suicide attempt. Everything that I had been through had taken a toll on me. I wanted to end my life because I felt as if that was the only way to escape from my mother.

Onetta: Have you made peace with yourself regarding that issue?

Ciara: Regarding suicide…..yea.

Onetta: It was hard for me to not be judgmental of your mother while reading your book. I felt that she cared more about trying to keep a man that wasn’t worth being kept. I have seen women in my life that chase after no-good men while neglecting their own children. What would you say to women who do that?

Ciara: Well…..I wouldn’t exactly classify them as “women.” I don’t want to get too deep, but the women who that, need to do some deep searching within themselves.

Onetta: Your grandparents, your mother’s parents, seemed so caring and loving, but you mother seemed to be at the other end of the spectrum. She was verbally and physically abusive towards you. Why do you think she was that way?

Ciara: I ask myself that all of the time and still haven’t came up with an answer, LOL…..

Onetta: I commend you for being very open and honest in your book. You had to revisit the moment that you were rape. How old were you when you were rape? Was it hard writing about that?

Ciara: I was 13 years old. If I compared being rape to everything else I wrote about in my book, then being raped was like a breeze. That may seem modest, but honestly, nothing hurt me more than my mother. I needed my mother more than anything and once she had forsaken me, nothing else mattered.

Onetta: After you were rape, you didn’t tell a soul. Why did you keep that a secret?

Ciara: Mainly because the man who raped me threatened to harm my baby sister.

Onetta: It took me about a couple of days to read your book. I was trying to finish it to see how things would end. There are some unanswered questions, so this makes me think that there will be another book to follow. If this is the case, can you give me some details about the next book?

Ciara: This is a 3 part book. The 2nd book is “Potentially Ruined.” Potentially Ruined picks up with me in handcuffs. After dealing with a failed suicide attempt and incarceration, I turned to the streets for love and affection, but it was the wrong type of love and affection that lead me to……………

Onetta: You are now living in Atlanta and you have dedicated your life to working with underprivileged youth in your community. How important was it for you to do that?

Ciara: Very important! I feel like I owe every child my hand to hold, my ear to listen, and my heart to love. Children are often overlooked because “they don’t look like anything is wrong” and/or adults think children can write off their pain.

Onetta: Tell me a little more about how your life is today.

Ciara: Mentoring children, writing, mentoring children, writing…..that’s all I’m doing. I will continue to write nonfiction stories. In every book, there will be a “moral to the story.” My focus is to help the world.

Onetta: Ciara, I find your story such an inspiration because despite all the difficult situations you have been through, you were able to move your life forward in a positive way. How were you able to do it? What advice would you like to leave the readers with?

Ciara: It was only by the grace of God. All I want is for people to realize how much of an impact they have on a child’s life. This is only a suggestion, but adults need to start realizing their self worth and learn to love themselves. I promise, if we can get past that aspect of life, life would be a lot better.

To learn more about Ciara L. Anderson, visit www.myspace.com/loyalpublishing.You can purchase “Drowning in a Mother’s Womb” by visiting www.loyalpublishing.org.

Many of us might agree that at some point in our lives, we could have been labeled a “Bag Lady;” a lady that carried so much baggage around from her past that it kept her from moving forward in life. A “Bag Lady” who was unable to move forward in life because she held on to the pain from her past; holding on to the pain that that “man” caused, or holding on to the pain caused by something “momma or daddy did or said,” and so forth and so on. When I reflect back on my own life, there are people that have done things, people that have said things, and people that have treated me in such a way that truly hurt me to the core. But you know, at the lowest point in my life, what I realized is that I had to let go of all that old baggage that I carried around with me everyday. I had to forgive everyone who had hurt me in my life and I just had to let the baggage go. You see, if I didn’t do that or if you don’t do that in your own life, you give those people power over you and you allow their actions to prevent you from becoming that woman that you are destined to be. “Forgive and Forget” is debatable to me. I prefer “Forgive and Move On,” and that’s what you have to do if you don’t want to be a “Bag Lady” any longer. Ciara L. Anderson made a choice to move on…..

12 Comments

  1. No matter what you go through, someone always has it just a little bit worse.

    😥

  2. wow that sound like an interesting read. i might have to purchase that book!

  3. I have to get this book. The whole mother putting men before their kids get under my skin soooo bad. I can not stand it.

  4. It seems one of the biggest issue plaguing Black women these days is sexual abuse. Every other day I seem to hear about it from either friends I know or celebs who come out of the closet about it. It makes me wonder what is going on in our families and neighborhoods. I don’t think I know one sista who has not been sexually abused.

  5. That sounds like a interesting story. Ciara must be one out of a million. Sometimes its not that easy to move on. 🙄

  6. She is a STRONG young lady and I love the fact that she mentors young children 😛

    @ Shavonne..its not only happening the black community..it happens in the OUR (America) community.
    Oh and though you don’t know me personally count me as the 1 black woman you hasn’t been sexually abused.

  7. That is so true, someone is always going through worse. I have to remember that. Especially, the drama I’m facing. But God said that he will never leave us nor forsake us. And he never gives us more than what we can handle. To remember that, and hold on to it, we will be ok. Sexual abuse, to return to the topic being discussed, is prevalent in the community. But, just like all communities, we don’t want to deal with the issue. SAD.

  8. I would like to read her entire book, but I know it will be too emotional for me as her story mirrors my life except mine makes hers look like she was living in the girls scout club. Not taking anything away from her, but I will be crying reading her book because i can feel her aura through the words. I am happy though that she is reaching out to the young because they are the future. It takes someone like her to reach kids and adults as well because there are many adults who will hear her story and be healed. God uses people to help other people. I wish her great success, God’s favor and that the blessings of God will run her down and overtake her. Thank you for your story Ciara and thank you Brownsista for posting this story.

  9. I’m glad she made the choice to move on and was able to pull herself up from wow the people around her trying to take her down. I love seeing women be strong and are able to push themselves through the worst situations a human can imagine. I wonder what happened to the piece of crap that did this to her and threatened her sister? I wish her much success… this is a 3 part book I have to get them and show support. I’m rootin’ for you Ciara! You better do it. 🙂

  10. I have to cop a copy of that book. It sound so interesting

  11. This is a powerful book i can tell, its not always easy sharing the tough times in your life so well done 2 ms Anderson. Just wondering if u could let me know if the book will be published in other countries South Africa 2 be exact. Please. Please. Please.

  12. ” nothing hurt me more than my mother. I needed my mother more than anything and once she had forsaken me, nothing else mattered”. wow this really touched me to the core, i think that a lot of times mothers are placed on this pedal stool, and sometimes they are not even deserving of it. just because you were able to carry someone inside of you for 9 months does not totally cut it.

    being verbally abusive can do a lot of damage to ones soul. and as far as being a woman, since naturally we are supposed to have an unbreakable bond with our mothers, this is where it is is destroyed. when someone has that much influence over your life, consciously or not, every criticism, every word or action that goes to belittle you in anyawy, slowly destroys you somehow, unless you are able to “forgive and move on” by the grace of God.

    a lot of mothers are unaware of the scars the leave on their daughters lives, and it is such a shame.

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