Where Have All the Real Men Gone?


Coverboys and Crying Men

Every revolution has its downside… just ask Marie Antoinette! The metrosexual insurgency meant that men NOW had two eyebrows and jeans that fit. Unfortunately, to me, some guys took the metro look a little too far, leaving women to deal with the over-groomed man with skinny jeans. Women are tired of boyfriends raiding their beauty drawer and using their Lady Schick razor. Ladies, if you’re sick of all the over-grooming that men are doing, please raise your hands. If you’re sick of all the men who pluck and shape their eyebrows and in fact, will nudge you in haste to get the last moisturizer at the Clinique counter… lets hear your searing wail!!! I’m so tired of some random guy sitting next to me in the pedicure chair. The manicure salon is a woman’s sanctuary from the day-to-day. Most woman don’t have a woman cave of which to retreat to decompress. All this metrosexual stuff has become annoying and has gone too far, and I’m blaming this on all the makeover reality shows, plastic surgery shows, Snoop Dogg, Ice T and the Southern pimps with curlers in their hair.

What ever happened to real male machismo? Men should get back to having real cojones and stop all this nonsense. I prefer a manly man. Because if I see another African-American or Latino brother with pigtails, bouncing, permed, candy curls like Shirley Temple or afro puffs like Pam Grier, I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ve identified a few of the most egregious over-grooming offenses some men are guilty of committing:

  • Does he shave his chest? Tell your boyfriend, husband… that men aren’t lizards… you have hair! Most women don’t want to cuddle up to a hairless reptilian man and even fewer will snuggle up to a cactus, which is exactly how it feels when their hair starts to grow back. Remind your man that the sexiest men… Wolverine, Don Draper, the Dothraki king from, “Game of Thrones” are far from hairless. But if he does insist on landscaping his chest, he should get it waxed for a smoother, un-razor bumpy result.
  • He doesn’t want you to touch his hair. Does he duck and dodge you? Next time he emerges from the shower, give him a head massage. Do this a few times and he’ll associate touchable hair with touching you. And replace his industrial strength hair hardening shellac with softer products.
  • Are his eyebrows overly coiffed? Okay, you can’t blame him. Men are confused when it comes to eyebrows. We hound them about unibrows, but they could end up looking too well-groomed if they spend too much time in front of the mirror with tweezers. Make sure he’s only grooming the underside of his brows and leave the natural top arch alone. The hottest guys aren’t necessarily the most picture-perfect.
  • Does he wear too much clear top-coat on his manicured nails? There’s nothing wrong with well kept and groomed fingernails, however he should forgo the clear top coat to avoid that pimping look. Another recent trend some men are doing is french manicures. To me that pushes the boundaries of what’s acceptable, in addition to darker colors and nail art, especially if their nails are a bit on the long side. Tell your man you prefer that his fingernails to be neat and clean and buffed to a natural shine. All that other stuff isn’t necessary… leave it for the real pimps.
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    Alexis G. Thornton, is a published writer and author of: FAMILY FRIENDS HUSBANDS AND LOVERS… THE BEST OF ENEMIES and remember, many art forms are “WHERE CREATIVE EXPRESSION EMPOWERS INDIVIDUALITY”©


    1. It sounds like the author is in search of a cave man. We women claim to want a beefed up macho man who does not show his feelings, but we are often upset when he can’t pull a nice outfit together for a night out, lacks good taste in gifts, or forgets to buy flowers for our anniversaries. We can’t have it both ways. While I feel like any man — or woman for that matter — who spends too much time on grooming is a nuisance, I need my man to try a little tenderness. I especially appreciate the extra grooming down below. 😉 Who decides what defines a “real man” anyway?

    2. Ever read the book “Homosexuality and the Effeminization of Afrikan Males” ? It’s worth a read folks. http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/0967894344

      The author is spot on. She doesn’t want a cave men or a dirty man, only a man who wants to be a man, and not a woman.

    3. I used to have an ex who would arch his brows. I’m not talking about taming the brows or plucking a stray, curly hair. They looks almost airbrushed. He only started doing it after we’d been dating for a while. Ew.

      Georgia, I think the author just likes a man who has balance and isn’t in the mirror doing the exact same routine as she is. I know that’s how I feel (I’m with someone, but I feel her). To me, nail polish, afro puffs, curls, and zero body hair are turn offs.

    4. Thank you Dana. It’s obvious that Georgia missed my point entirely. Georgia, instead of guessing what I “sound like”, try READING and COMPREHENDING what I mean…again.

    5. …Not to be forgotten, thank you also LELE LOVE.

    6. Happy to hear some sistas still like real men and not these closet brothas

    7. Say that thing, A.G. Thorton. The utter feminine ways of a lot of black men today is a complete turn off. I love a man who takes care of himself and especially wears cologne. I love a good smelling man. I don’t however love men who wreak of too many feminine influences. Examples, Dwyane Wade who not long ago posted pics of his painted toenails, talking ’bout he “always wanted to try it.” Kanye West and his need to dress the women he dates. It’s controlling and weird. Why does he think he knows more about being a woman than women do? Another example is all these men walking around with their hair braided like little girls. A$AP Rocky talking about how he thinks black women look bad in red lipstick, while he’s walking around with a hairstyle I have seen three years old girls wearing. I could go on but hopefully you all get the point. Bravo to A.G. for talking about it. The time is long overdue.

    8. I agree with the Author, Dana and Lele Love. Give me a Man that knows he is ALL Man! Don’t get me wrong, I want him to take pride in his appearance, but if he spends more time in the mirror than I do, he’s got to go! My mama always told me to never date a man who thinks he is prettier than you!

    9. Dana girl you said that, and yes the author gets a 1000 cosigns from moi!

    10. Y’all sound stupid. Black women have the most narrow ideas about what a “real man” is … SMH.

    11. What state do you live in? I don’t see any of this in Oklahoma. I just lousy lames who have no job, car or their own place to to stay. That’s what I thought you were talking a about witch toss post. Lol

    12. If Tyler perry keeps portraying all young black men has sissy boys chasing white studs on his show, the next generation will have no real men.

      Right now the only way young girls know they have real men is when the man has 5 plus baby mamas. They’re so thirsty for real men they gladly become a baby mama to try and attach to the only real man they have saw in years, and who could blame them.

    13. For me, a real man is not seen on the figure. It is true that physical appearance will play a role of becoming a good looking man.

      But a real man should know how to treat me and has the courage to take on responsibilities and to be a good person.

    14. These ladies who r critising metro men for using hair curlers etc. Who do u think U r ? There is no fuss made when U woman want wear pants and may be a tie and to crop it all a short hair cut. I believe men should be encouraged to go for the full metro look regular roller sets facials pedi’s and mani’s and let the norm be that he can wear heels with skirt or a dress. And wear make up. Y can’t men take care and be beautiful without society dictating what they should do and shoulnt do. There are lot of men myself included that enjoy the finer things in life.

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