Women Are Haters

Turn on any entertainment channel during prime time and I’m sure you will find a plethora of drama-filled cat fights featuring the latest selection of wives, girlfriends, aspiring models and video girls. The main ingredient that keeps reality shows on the air is drama. Without that crucial element, ratings will likely plunge. Although we enjoy watching women fight, berate themselves, and call each other names on national television, it kind of makes you ponder why we are so enthused by these profligate displays. Art certainly imitates life in this instance, because in the world which we live in women find solace in tearing each other down and stepping on the toes of other women in order to reach the top. This has got to stop. I’ve encountered so many women who claim that they “don’t get along with females.” I stop them dead in their sentence and ask them if they’ve ever asked themselves why? Often times the familiar response that I hear is that other women are “haters” and are jealous and catty. Be that as it may, we must learn to put our differences aside and look at what we have in common. I’m not advocating that every woman turn into a bra-burning, man-hating member of society, but as women, we need to learn to stick together. Support our fellow females out there who are paving the way for us today.

Many women in our society are equally worshipped, hated and criticized by the general public. The negativity that I hear spewed out when it comes to public figures such as Nicki Minaj, Halle Berry or Michelle Obama is obfuscating. No one is perfect; it is easy to point the finger at women in the spotlight or women who we may feel threatened by. This is a way that we may mask our own insecurities. But this is not the solution. As women we all experience the same hardships and pain although the situations may vary. We are all on the same team.

Women are so afraid of complimenting other women; it is easier to hate another woman from afar than to admit that you admire certain qualities about that woman. We are not in competition. When I see a woman that I find beautiful, charismatic and successful, I examine what exactly she is doing and I use that as inspiration. Instead of looking at what you hate about another woman, try to see what you can learn from another woman. Women in this country are second-class citizens, who are often objectified through media outlets. The bitchiness needs to stop. We could be such a powerful force if we learned to use our powers for good instead of against each other.

Janice Gassam is a graduate student currently getting her degree in Industrial Organizational Psychology. To contact Janice her email is gassamjz@gmail.com

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15 Comments

  1. Such powerful use of words & a great topic to touch on. i completely agree with janice & may be if they put some one with a positive attitude like yourself in entertainment, women all over can learn some thing significant & be taken seriously. And men will finally see females for the brilliant mind they possess. This article is deep & i hope it will reach as many women out there as it possibly can.

  2. Simply put, Beautiful. I agree and I challenge all of my sistas to compliment at least one woman you admire vs. hating on her.

  3. I totally agree with you guys! Women, more specifically black women, have this issue the most I think! It doesn’t help that these women go on these show and portray the stereotype most of us try to avoid. I don’t know what to say, our black women and men need help!

  4. i agree with you,especially the part about women who say they don’t get along with other women….i have come to now that those are the types of women i need to run away from. in fact i had a similar situation yesterday. in my class in college there are only about 4 girls in a group of 30 or so boys…..i’m the only black one….i was having a conversation with one of the lady’s, and the conversation somehow went to how she has never gotten along with women, and i was so super irritated, we obviously are not on the same level. but then she starts telling me how she loves me and we are gonna be best friends…WTF???? i dont like that isht. i feel like women need each other so so so much i try to cultivate that feminine bond with other women, but that type of statement just throws me off. any way this is and will never be an”especially black women” b.s. it is not cut that crap out. travel, experience life and understand life is life.

  5. I’m glad you guys enjoyed the article. This is a really sad problem I witness with women of all races but it is especially bad within the black community. We spend too much time focusing on what we don’t like about another female and don’t realize that at the end of the day we’re more similiar than we are different.

  6. This is not a race thing. All women hate on one a another. Watching the drama on these tv shows give it the popularity it needs to continue. Real housewives of new york, new jersey, orange county are examples where white women are fighting and being catty, so its not a race thing.

  7. great article! totally agree! However I would say that its a sympton of black culture …I think we are critical of everyone who tries to achieve/ do something different.

  8. So you just can’t have an opinion as a black woman anymore? Ridiculous, People use the word hater like fat women use the word thick, IN THE WRONG CONTEXT!!!!
    i could say right now that rihanna is beautiful and talented but she should cover up, and some of you will call me hater because you simply disagree, i could say that beyonce should stop singing vapid song, but she is gorgeous and very talented, and some people will call me a hater, Black women want people to co-sign them wether they doing right or wrong and i cannot roll with that, i’ve always been the type of chick, that stops someone in the street to tell them how beautiful they are, or how cute their bangles are, or something i look for the best in every single body, but if i see something unapealing to me, i’m suppose to nod and clap? i don’t think so and if that makes me a hater than that’s just fine by me.
    i get a long with females and males,as long as they are true to themselves, and evolving in their own ways, i don’t get along with females and males, that can’t tell you thr truth regardless of how much it hurts, i can’t stand hypocrites that screams hater today then turn around and “hate” on someone else, and i don’t like people trying yo shut me down with intimidation tactics. Some women are haters, but most women just have a different opinion than yours and that’s life if you can’t handle that i feel sorry for you.

  9. @Tu Tu and Uma This is a black blog! Relevant to black issues that we face! Of course this applies to other races but, we are talking about black women specifically! No need to divert. Because guess what, even if you travel and experience life in some way some how you are going to be stereotyped as a woman of color! We need discussions and articles like this!

  10. That is TV!! None of my friends act like this we respect, empower, inspried, laugh love and pray! Believe me if I had any friends like these broads on Basketball Wives either someone ass would have been beat and beleive it they would have been cut off long time ago!! True SIsterhood is about loyalty and respect! Its not about belittle and degrading your homegirls. HOW WOULD YOU EVER GROW?

  11. Usually people whom cannot get along with other women have a problem with themelves…LOL Especially women whom claim they are christians! God is love and love is GOD…You cannot say you love GOD and cannot have unity with your sisters!

  12. Love your article Janice and I totally agree…100%. I have personally, experienced the “hate” and it starts with school age girls (because that’s when it was most prevalent in my life). However, as an adult not so much. I do as you said, I look at other females from an admiration standpoint, instead of a “she thinks she’s all that” standpoint. If another female has a hairstyle I like or an outfit on I like, I have no problem saying so. I may even ask…”girl, I love that where did you find it?” Now with that, I do notice that some women are forthcoming and feel equally complimentary and others are more guarded. Either way, I come from a positive place in how I deal with my fellow “sistas.” True friendship/admiration among women is/can be a beautiful thing.

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