Women & Their Weaves: A Love Story

You all know me as Fashionista101, but let me really introduce myself. Hi, I’m Shanteé, and I wear weaves — both sewn and glued. Yes, fashion is my forté, but I was really inspired to do this post because of the way a lot of [black] women react to other black women’s hairstyle choices. For some, hair is an accessory, so I believe do with it what you please. It is yours after all. So, whether you prefer your hair relaxed and straight, or kinky, that’s on you. It’s pretty annoying hearing some women’s comments toward weave-wearers:

“I don’t wear weaves, my hair’s already long.”

“Typical. Black woman and a weave. Perfect match!”

I mean, sometimes I have to laugh. Like how the hell is that typical of me?! I personally have a nice length of hair, but I wear my weaves long, approximately 14 inches, and I love it! Because of heat breakage, not chemical, my hair began to break off about 2yrs ago. So, I got it professionally weaved to give it a fuller look, and it turned out great! Everyone, including myself, loved it.

Since then, my hair has grown back, but I won’t even let anyone see my real hair. Why? — Because I don’t feel like it. I like the way I look with 14 inches of hair flowing down my back. I like how manageable it is, and I like being able to put it into a quick ponytail when I’m hot. LOL. As long as my hairstyle looks tasteful, what’s the big deal?

Some, like Solange on the Oprah Show the other day, spend and think you have to spend tons of money on hair extensions. If you want a really good looking one, yes you’ll have to shell out some cash. But, isn’t hair care expensive PERIOD? I personally wash, set, relax, weave, and style my own hair. So, monthly, I’d say I only spend about $50-60 on my hair (that’s including my weave). A wash and set at the salon these days cost at least $30! So, no. I’m not one of those baby mommas spending formula and rent money on fixing my “wig”.

I usually think very highly of black females, but in the past year I’ve noticed how it’s black women that criticize other black women the most! I’m from New York, and in my town hair like mine is considered “normal”. Straight and relaxed. Not kinky or “nappy” hair. Not unprocessed hair.

Before you speak, and give your own critique, I think you should at least be a bit educated on hair weaving and hair extensions, because what you all may not realize is that white women probably wear extensions more than we do! So why does it look so natural you ask? — because the secret to having an amazing hair weaving experience is to have the right type/amount of hair to blend with the extensions. Sometimes Beyonce’s looks REALLY natural, but that’s because she has a nice length of hair already. I bet most of you also didn’t know that Kim Kardashian, Hollywood’s top Armenian princess, also wears weaves. Even her oldest sister, Kourtney Kardashian, was caught on camera getting her weave hooked up the other day. I also watch as many episodes of the Wendy Williams Show as possible, and on each show she asks her guests (mostly white) if they’re wearing hair extensions, and I don’t believe any of them has ever said “No, this is actually all mine.”

Actress Joy Bryant, who some were shocked to find out wears a weave as well, recently posted an article to the Essence Magazine blog, titled The Tracks Of My Weave. In the article Joy admits to wearing weaves and loving them. She also states that she was not moved at all by Tyra’s “Going Natural” hair segment.

>>National Real Hair Day? I missed that one…In fact, on National Real Hair Day, I was calling Extensions Plus in L.A. to make sure they had enough of the 20” “relaxed roots” texture hair that I love oh so much (and that keeps selling out like crazy!), and making an appointment to get my hair, I mean, my weave, hooked up. I loooooove taking new hair out of the bag, combing through it with my fingers, holding it up with my two hands, and burying my face in it. Mmmm, mmmm, mmm! Nothing like a new batch of zig-zag curly to get your self esteem out of the dumps! With long brown tresses and a tan, I’m Pocahontas, ’cause I got Indian in my family. With easy waves, I AM bohemian rhapsody goddess personified. And now that I got blond highlights! What!? I know I look like Beyonce! You can’t tell me nothing! Uh oh, uh oh…

Not everyone is blessed with having gorgeous hair — Just like some aren’t that blessed in the looks department, and choose to wear makeup. Who’s pressin’ you about that? Or the ones who LOVEEE to rock grey contacts KNOWING it does absolutely nothing for you! Oh, oh, and what about push-up bras for the less fortunate, and high heels for the height challenged? So basically cosmetics in it’s entirety should be ruled out [for black women]?! I think not! As a matter of fact, the next black chick I hear talking smack about another black woman’s hair weave, I’m gonna snatch her outta her 6-inch heels, and run her under some hot water and soap. We’ll see how NATURAL she is!

So, for all the women who’ve “gone natural”, yet still use hair dyes and still get their hair pressed, THINK AGAIN! That my dear, is NOT natural. Natural is letting it alllll hang out, no matter what. So cut out using gels and all that other extra stuff too. Just do it like they did it back in the 1800’s. I, on the other hand, will continue to rock my 14-inch jet black Yaky hair. Hmmph. Maybe next time I’ll try out that 16-inch!

112 Comments

  1. Well written Ms. Fashionista!

    I’m a natural. Not a natural Nazi! Do you…as the phrase goes. And can I borrow your line:

    “…I’m gonna snatch her outta her 6-inch heels, and run her under some hot water and soap.!”

    GT

  2. I like this article. People need to stop judging Black women on how they wear their hair. If you dont like what they do to their hair, oh well. Theres nothing you can do it about, deal with your own hair. I also wish people would realize, what goes on “in” a Black womans head is more important than what she puts “on” her head. There are a lot of other, more important black women issues that should be addressed, other than the endless hair topic.

  3. You all are lucky. You have the right mentality, & wear weaves, extensions, relaxers, etc purely for the aesthetic purpose. But there are quite a lot of women who do it b/c of low self esteem & conditioning that their natural texture is “bad”. So for you all, more power to you. Do you, & look beautiful while doing it. But some women with the opposite mentality need to hear the things being said about their endless need for more fake hair, b/c whoever uses weaves to validate themselves are insecure, simple as that. This goes for makeup as well, if used to MASK instead of ENHANCE, & every other physical change we do to ourselves.

  4. *applauds* that’s right do YOU. As long as YOUR hair is healthy & YOU like the style(natural, relaxed, weaved, locked, bald, & etc) you have & it compliments YOU.. NOTHING nor NO one else’s opinion matters. Good article =)

  5. **Two Snaps Boo!** Yeah I made a comment on here similar to what you’re talking about as far as black hair. When black women does something that’s not even an issue all kinds of stones are thrown at them. And yes, sadly the ones throwing them alot are other black women (and men too). Yet when white or hispanic women do the same thing…we don’t even hear a pen drop. Not by there race nor our race.

  6. *typo their race not there race*

    ITA, IT’S YOUR HAIR NOT THEIRS.

  7. I was born and raised in Queens NY, moved to Atlanta- after living in Venice beach for awhile. Weaves perms, braids, fro, and dreads are represented in NYC. In other places it tends to be one or two trends and that’s the norm. I think Sisters and Brothers need to stop hating on the weaves. No offense to Oprah, Chris Rock, or Solange but I could think of at least 10 other issues effecting our communities that need addressing other than a hair.
    P.S. I HATE IT WHEN BROTHERS WERE JEANS HANGING OFF THEIR A$$, THINK LIP MOISTERIZER IS OPTIONAL, OR NEGLECT DENTAL VISITS- MAYBE I CAN DO A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THAT!!

  8. The only “weave” I obtain Is a draw string ponytail…that’s all I need for my hair. all that other stuff I don’t need!

  9. Fashionista,

    Well said…well written!!!

    I hope Chris Rock’s team sees this because I didn’t like how black women were singled out for wearing weaves, confusing the difference between using chemicals and wearing weaves. White women no longer throw their hair as they use to because most of them are wearing weaves for volume and length…appearance, preference. Sunbathing not to be black, but to be colorful. We don’t wear weaves to be white or straighten our hair with white women in mind…hair is an accessory and our options, we choose for style, convenience or just to be trendy…

    Again Fashionista, thanks for the giant visual…maybe people will begin to get it straight!

  10. I don’t understand how I’m any less of a black woman, because I wear weaves and not it natural. When women say, “this is all mine” I’m like who the hell cares! And your point is what?

    Some women wear weaves because they have forms of alopecia, which is a disease. Would we complain about a diabetic take their meds? I know that was an comparison, but that’s how idiotic we sound when we complain about hair choices.

    We’re so judmental when it comes to each other. From our weight, our career, our hair it’d beyond ridiculous. And the sad part is if we weren’t we could pull together and take over the world. The black hair industry is a billion dollar business that we have no true ownership in. Madam CJ Walker started it but Koreans are putting genereations of families through college! Instead of fussing over who’s hair is what, why not poll our money together and open our own beauty supply stores and become part of the billion dollar business.

  11. Even though I don’t wear weaves , people who do don’t bother me. My own mother only wears weaves. Like you said it’s their hair they can do what they want with it.
    I had no idea that so many people wear them though: I always liked Kim K’s hair and it looks so natural.

  12. I only have a problem some weave wearers. Just because you got a weave doesn’t mean you don’t have to take care of it..7am and I see weaves with tracks showing, string hanging & uncombed. They need to stop taking that shake n go so seriously.

  13. I lov weave. At one time I had a nice head of hair, but now I am going bald in the back of my head and in the top. So hair weave is my new best friend. And I don’t mind if someone talks about black women and their weaves. At least they are talking about you which means you have so much control over their lives that you are basically dictating to them how to plan their day. With so much thought about the black woman, you must know that you are special. So let the talkers talk about our weave.

  14. KymberJae, you said “When women say, ‘this is all mine’ I’m like who the hell cares! And your point is what?” The point is: they are natural. lol While weave wearers are faking the funk, acting like they have long beautiful hair, others have it naturally. Believe me, you might not think it matters, but your man does. I’m sure he’d much rather have a chick on his side who has that naturally than one who has a scalp that feels like busted train tracks, as Chris Rock put it.

    Yall need to start embracing your own beauty, if you have any, instead of trying to mimic other races beauty.

    And finally, the reason people don’t make a big stink about white woman wearing weaves is because they are using their own hair texture. If they were getting afro wigs, I think most would realize they were doing it to look more black.

    Sistahs need to wake up. Until you do I guess you’ll continue to wear the wig of straight hair and the blue/grey lenses while your men go out to get the “real thing.” Afterall, you’re acknowledging that the white look is better, so don’t be madd when the men agree.

    Oh, by the way I’m an all natural black woman (wink, wink).

  15. I had a white friend who in passing said that Aaliyah’s hair wasn’t real. I forget what we were talking about but I took offense because how dare she talk about Aaliyah! Lol. But moreover I was offended because I could tell that her belief, her perception was that no Black woman’s hair was real. I wore drawstring ponytails a lot back then and obviously my actions fueled her belief; but once she said that it just truly bothered me.

    Sure the Kim Kardashians and Lindsay Lohans of the world wear extensions; but what about Betty down the street or Julie at work? I don’t believe they do; and for those YT women that don’t understand weaves, extensions, etc. they view those of us who wear them as being ‘not real’ or ‘fake’…our hair even and all of that just widens the divide of black women being different and less than and oh, they want hair like ours so naturally that makes us better…

    Convoluted I know; and many of you might say why care what a YT chick thinks of you in regards to your hair? Why care indeed, but still it polarizes and adds to the complexity of what we’ve had to deal with (explain away) our hair and relationship to it over the years.

  16. @ Sho Ya Right.

    I’ve been in a relationship with my [black] boyfriend for 4.5yrs, and I’ve only been wearing weaves for the last 2. He NEVER used to run his fingers through my hair, so why would he start now. Is running fingers through someones hair like holding their hands?! LMAO. I don’t think so.

    Again, like I said, where I’m from and where I’ve been RELAXED HAIR IS CONSIDERED NORMAL. The guys I know don’t like “natural” hair (whatever that means). And neither do I. For myself, I PREFER my hair to be relaxed. I remember when it wasn’t, and it was hell to comb and style.

    And, I’m definitely not trying to look like a white woman. Blacks are pretty much the only ones with naturally kinky hair, so it has nothing to do with white women.

    Like I said, you should educate yourself before you speak. I wear Yaky hair weaves, which means it’s the closest texture to a black female’s hair. It’s also hair that’s already been relaxed. So, my hair blends and matches. Thank you very much!

    And I dunno who Chris Rock’s been dating, but my scalp feels nothing like “busted train tracks”. As a matter of fact, you can never even FEEL a track!…Unless you’re digging in search for one.

    How do you wear your “natural hair”. Loc’d? If you had to go to a salon to do that, then technically it’s not “natural”. If you wear it in twists, I don’t think your hair came “naturally twisted” with all that holding gel they use.

    ****I’m Jamaican and know how REAL Dread Locs are made. You don’t go to a salon, you just work your hair in twists with your fingers everyday, don’t comb it, and don’t cut it. No grease, no gel, nothing. THAT’S NATURAL!

  17. @ Sho Ya Right (AGAIN)

    That was a really rude comment. This post was pretty much geared towards people like you. Women like you. BLACK Women like you.

    Instead of you pointing your finger at other sistas, why don’t we all just embrace each other? We’re all cut from the same cloth.

    I know sooooo many black women who’ve gone natural and have been natural for years, yet still wear their hair weaved. It’s a time management thing for them. They like to keep the stress off their natural hair, yet still look good. Looking like you’re trying to grow your hair out of a certain state isn’t always a good look!

    So don’t hate. Some HAVE the hair, and please — if a man didn’t want me or wanted to CHEAT on me, just because of how I style my damn hair, then too bad. I don’t want his a** anyway! I can and do pay my own damn bills!

    You wear your hair naturally for yourself, correct? — Not because of how a “man feels when he’s running his fingers through your hair”? Same thing with us women of the Weave Wearers Committee. We wear our hair how we please, because we can and feel like it.

  18. I personally don’t care how a sista wears her hair as long as she pull a Cassie or all those other half-hair half-balded chicks lol. 2009 must be black hair year.

  19. I wasn’t trying to be offensive, just stating my opinion. For those who are curious, I do not lock my hair, nor do I put any gels or other things in it, just shampoo and conditioner. It is curly/wavy and is down to my a$$ literally. If it wasn’t though I wouldn’t put weaves in to acheive the length. It’s about self acceptance, it’s about self love. When it becomes the norm to put dangerous chemicals in our hair, we have a problem. Unless your hair is the texture of brillo pads, it is not unmanageable. Get educated on how to care for YOUR hair (not the hair you bought) and experiment and embrace what you have. I know too many sistahs who literally wouldn’t be caught dead outside with their natural hair. That’s a problem. And anyone who thinks being ashamed of who you are is OK has a problem as well.

  20. @Sho Ya Right!

    Are you serious? You my love need an education because you are just hateful! You have added nothing positive at all to the conversation but bile and malice!
    Your thoughts and ignorance is the main reason why black woman are so against each other!!!

    My friend there isn’t just straigh weaves, many and I do mean many get their dreads and kinky puffs weaved on as well! Erykah, Angie Stones and Jill have been wearing natural weaves for years.

    We are arguing about who’s hairstyle is better, when we, regardless of our hairstyle choice, aren’t the one’s making the money!!!

  21. Kymberjae,

    My dear, how in the world do my comments sound hateful? lol You sound bitter. I’m sorry that you weren’t born with locks that you are proud to rock. That’s not my problem. But, you’d be well advised to start loving and accepting yourself more and investing all the money you spend to wear someone else’s hair in a retirement account, education account, or savings–we are, after all, in a recession.

    Best,
    Show Ya Right

  22. Oh and your comment about me needing an education because I am hateful is wrong on many levels. First, it assumes that those who have an education are not hateful. I’ll leave you to your own devices to figure out why that is an illogical assumption.

  23. OMG! @Sho Ya Right

    You shouldn’t even be speaking. It’s always the ones who already have, who choose to criticize.

    That’s like big breasted women who snub their noses at women who get implants. Or slim women who don’t believe in lipo. Or the ones with huge a$$es who say to their flat a$$ friends “your butt is fineeee”. LIES.

    OR like the ones with long hair who HATE on others with weaves (YOU). Good for you that you have hair down to your a$$. & I do not believe that if your hair was shorter and kinkier, that you would just leave it that way.

    Moral of the day for you: don’t put yourself in situations that are not for you.

    If I had [curly] hair down to my a$$, trust — I wouldn’t buy hair either. BUT, if it was thin as hell, YES I WOULD!

    I appreciate your opinion, but I think it’s irrelevant for this topic.

  24. Whoa!!! LOL. I never said you NEED an education! I said you need to be educated on what you’re speaking on BEFORE you speak. Meaning be educated on hair weaves. Since you didn’t know hair weaves come in all textures. White hair, Black hair, Asian hair, and Hispanic hair. Your comment stated that weaves only come in the form of White hair. Which is incorrect.

    I never said you NEEDED an education. LOL.

  25. @M-very observant-not errything is black and white-there are 2 sides 2 the coin. that is my only input, but the ones that wanna start breaking the compute are prob the ones who do it out of low self-esteem and brainwashing. But those who know im not in that category and need be if i had 2 go without perm i wouldn’t kill myself, MO POWER.

  26. @ Fashionista101,

    I think it is destructive when people can’t take someone else’s perspective for what it is: merely an opinion. I am not trying to condemn the black woman who is not natural. I’m merely pointing out reasons why one should think twice about it. I see no problem with the woman who wears a weave occassionally. However, there is a problem when a woman can’t leave the house without it. It’s sad in fact. I understand why, as little girls we see what society values and deems beautiful and so we try to acheive it, even if we can’t do so naturally. However, I think we need to redefine what is beautiful and worthy of adoration, especially in the black community. We can’t on one hand, get madd at the brothas who flock to a certain type of woman but on the other hand try to look like that woman. It makes no sense if you really think about it. But, that’s the problem. We aren’t thinking about it. We aren’t challenging anything. Instead we are molding ourselves accordingly all the while trying to convince ourselves it’s okay. Well, it’s not.

  27. THOSE ARE THE SAME ONES WHO SAY THE BLACK COMMUNITY HAS NO PROBLEMS-ITS ALL ROSES RITE???

  28. How you wear your hair alone can’t define your sense of self-worth and self-acceptance. It’s merely a preference. Natural hair doesn’t make you “blacker”…down for your people…Whoopi popularized natural hair more than any other celebrity, she helped us to be able to work in corporate america with braids, dreads, twists, fros and be treated with respect.

    Black people, as an underclass group in this country, always seek some type elistism, inter-prejudice, whether it’s hair, money, diction, dialects, skin color, we love to exalt one thing over another!

    At the end of the day, are you courageous, generous, wise, kind, mutally respectful, compassionate and have integrity?

    This is true self-acceptance and self-worth and has nothing to do with your hair. Women go through what they do (hair choices) because they like the look and that’s what it takes! Just as white women risk skin cancer to be tan and brown or all kinds of medical problems to be thin and under weight or anti-aging treatments, plastic surgery where they end up looking like a plastic doll.

    They go to surgeons wanting to look like their idols, jolie, jessica simpson, etc. and they’re white. We’re all influenced by our culture, but this doesn’t equal self-loathing for all people, especially, black women.

  29. I never had an issue with weave, lace front,horse hair, pony tail,Pug tail None of it, If you like it and can afford it know yourself out, It’s the trifling sisters with the weave, blond weave, color contact and the “I’m not black I’m creole/Spanish/Eurasian” with their OBVIOUS self hatred that disturb me, My sisters wear weaves, correction only ivory wear weaves so does Tana but the rest or natural, and you don’t see me knocking them down, it’s the one that publicly DISPLAY their self hatred that annoys me, and their blind followers annoys me even more, Other than that Weave on sister!

  30. Sho Ya Right is not being hateful. I hear her stating that you should love yourself, to not use harmful (might I add cancerous) chemicals in your head which also seep into your body, not to be ashamed of your hair as it grows from your head, not to buy and wear hair that is of a texture that is 9 time out of 10 not your own or the dominant hair of women in your race, and so on. What’s so hateful about that?!? Please feel me in

    I guess hearing the truth hurts and in an anti-black society where anti-blackness is internalized, hearing the truth is downright dreadfully painful for some.

    Until natural hair as it grows from our Black heads unaltered, unburned, and unlyed is the norm, I too like Sho Ya Right will continue to think that Sista’s need to wake up.

  31. It’s a shame how these companies prey on people’s insecurities. The marketing is masterful though, I must admit. Anytime the marketers of a line of products can convince 98% of a racial group in a nation as big and so called educated as America that it needs something that is not a necessity. Wow, my hats off to them. If I’m hating, I’m hating on the ignorance that is our community to think we have naturally unmanageable hair. If I’m hating, I’m hating on the mothers and fathers who instead of telling their children that their natural hair is beautiful, they instead put kiddy perms in it and lead by example by wearing artificial–European and Asian hair. Sad…

  32. People just have to rock what makes them look best, I think Kim looked wack with that lil knot, but she looked glam with the hair. People are just getting too deep with the hair.

  33. @ Sho Ya Right

    What’s sad is that you’re commenting, yet don’t understand the point of this post. It’s to stop people [like you] from pointing fingers at black women, or associating hair weaves with the black community.

    EVERY RACE WEARS HAIR WEAVES! White, black, asian, hispanic. Women of all nationalities wear weaves. NOT JUST BLACK WOMEN!

  34. if putting a chemical that easily unblocks drains on your scalp is a display of freedom,fashion and self-love then thats cool power to you….i used to do all this stuff until someone realy educated me patiently about the importance of curly hair and how to harvest and mantain it with least effort,not everyone uses gel to twist their hair,i use a good hair butter from ghana wich was available before christ and i sometimess press my hair and maintain it with a good hair dryer to keep it straight with no chemicals required and it always feels good to let my hair recoil to its natural state ….if you lived in a city where it was concidered normal to bleach your skin does that mean you will do the same? i c a lot of natural sisters praising the likes of rhirhi,keri more than proud weavers wud praise solange,eryka or any natural sista…look at how much hate amber rose generates from her short hair alone,this article sounds very defensive like an addict justfying her habit.

  35. @ Sho Ya Right

    So, you have hair down to your butt? — Does that make you “want” to look like a white woman? Why have you grown it so long? — I hope not to look like white women!

    If you were standing next to another black woman who has her weave done right (like Meagan Good), how would anyone know yours was real? I think that’s what makes you so upset. Because people probably assume you’re wearing a weave anyway.

  36. @ Lizz

    I wasn’t saying natural hair is “unnatural” where I’m from. I was only saying that hair like mine, straight and relaxed, is the norm.

    Some people believe that all men have a problem with weaves or women with chemically relaxed hair, which is so untrue. So, that’s why I made it a point to state that relaxed textures in a black female’s hair is normal where I’m from.

  37. Everyone wants to talk about self worth and acceptance, but if I really cared how a man felt about what’s ON my head rather than IN my head, wouldn’t that make me insecure?!

    I’m very secure about myself, and if a guy didn’t like me because of my hair from jump, then we wouldn’t get very far at all. My weave isn’t for others, it’s for me.

    I can leave my house with my natural hair, but like I said, I don’t want to! I like lots of hair, allover my head. What’s the big deal?!

    Why is it okay for a white woman to get a weave, but it’s BAD if a black woman does? Makes no sense.

  38. Thank you for expressing my exact feelings with this article. I’m from NY too…and to me my hair is an accessory just like my shoes or my purse. Depends on the outfit or my feelings that day. lol

  39. @ Bella Anais, I really couldn’t have said it better if I tried.

    Fashionista101, with respect to the comment you made about me growing my hair down to my butt to look like white woman: that was an ignorant statement to make. You are perpetuating stereotypes that only those of non-African descent can have naturally long hair. I am a testament that that is not true, and believe me, I am not the only one. I watched a really good clip on youtube of a black woman with hair very similar to mine. She was basically talking about the assumptions of black hair not being able to grow long and how other black woman can achieve naturally long hair (e.g., not putting chemicals or weaves in it, not styling it with heat and using protective styles to protect the ends–the most fragile part). I looked just now for it but couldn’t find it. If I come across it, I’ll be sure to forward it though.

    Believe me, I’m not madd that other woman can achieve what I have naturally through weaves. As I said before, unless my hair texture was that of a brillo pad, I would flaunt what I had, and I truely feel sorry for those who are not as liberated. Again, my comments are not directed at the woman who is the occassional weave wearer; instead it is to the woman who believes she is not pretty or cannot be out in public with what God gave her.

    As for the difference between a white woman wearing a weave and a black woman, see the statements made by Bella Anais. She put it rather eloquently.

  40. @lizz- whew thought i was out here by myself- SOME females will burn their scalp for life because they are afraid of the backlash of being natural. Black men have been trained 2 want their woman europanized(empasize MAJORITY not all). LOOK AT OUR VIDEO-HELLOO. i hate when i hear black men claim the white man this and the white man that-but if your girl hair ain’t flowing like the white woman-she is unattractive. bLACK MEN DON’T LIKE US WITH NATURAL BECAUSE WE STILL HAVEN’T LEARNED AS A COMMUNITY 2 LUV OURSELVES.

  41. @voice

    i think ur one of those girls who would look stupid wearing blonde hair or contacts, thats y u hate on women who look great in them. im a certain color and i look great in dirty blonde, blonde, or even platinum highlights. my eyes are the same color as rihannas. the color complements my eyes. so, that means i want to white. and do not speak about creole people bc if u knew anything about them u would know that many of them are BORN WITH BLONDE HAIR AND LIGHT EYES. this is not the 1700s when u didnt see many mixed cultures. its 2009 and almost everyone is mixed with something. i have a neice who hair is dirty blonde and her eyse are green. u say thses things like u assume blobde hair is specifically for white women. i actually believe that its looks better on “us” than it does them. they looked washed out, while we look exotic. and as for contacts. i believe that changing ur eye color does not mean ur trying to look white. do ur research on the cultures across the world. white people r not the only ones with different color eyes. moral of the story is, some black woman like to experiment beyond the boring jet black hair and brown or black eyed look. i say if the color looks good on u, rock it. and if its not for u, please dont hate!

  42. So, the lawyer with the weave is self-hating, and the video H@e with natural hair is representing the real?? Women who believe their better because they are “Natural” are looking for self worth in a hairstyle,…………………… a Hairstyle! Hating on an entire group of women based on hairstyle- categorizing them as self hating compared to whom??????? Your man running his fingers through your hair is irrelevant. If you want to impress me tell me something relevant; is your man employed? Does he live with his mother? Are you his 3rd baby’s mother? At the end of the day isn’t the black male obsession with running his fingers through a woman’s hair just cover for wanting a white girl; A sister that would take something as insignificant as a hairstyle as reason to hate on another women is the one with the identity problem. I don’t see African or African European men running their fingers through their women’s heads.

  43. one more than im out. Ic one of the main probs here on this blog. DENIAL. until the black community as a WHOLE do sum soul searching, understand the DEPTHS of slavery and how, yes, the residue still exists, instead of defending, then maybe , just maybe, we won’t allow the media 2 tell OUR kids what’s beautiful, parents will stop letting their children listen to that demonic, self-destructive music, they call hiphop(i mean you got adults tryna be “cool”) so many more issue i would have 2 write a book) maybe we wud be better as a WHOLE. BUT 4 NOW, just pray.

  44. Btw, chemical treatments are not weaves. Most weave wearers have their own hair braided.

  45. I think KymberJae made a good point about getting in on the multi-billion dollar industry. I don’t care one way or the other about the weaves per se, but how about we make some money off this too??? Does anyone here who wears a weave happen to know a black-owned distributor? Where can I buy in???

  46. @Sho Ya Right,
    I completely agree with you. And IN MY OPINION, I believe black women who wear weaves are not comfortable with themselves, wearing something that is a lie. Your not happy with your hair? And i cant blame you because society and pop culture as jammed the definition of beauty in our heads for years.

    And I hate when black women say, oh well white women wear weaves too, so whats the big deal?! The big deal is white womens hair is already that texture, and grade…NATURALLY! yes of course there are white women with short hair but the grade and quality of the hair they are adding MATCH there NATURAL grade of hair. With black women, you have kiny roots and thick, curly hair NATURALLY, but adding long and thin hair to kinky hair. Do you see how its not the same? White women add to theres, black women in a sense is adding oranges to apples and wondering why its not the same.

    I rock the short cut and love it! I love standing out amongst the crowd of black women who have long jet black weaves. And I look better than half of them and spend less money than them. Halle Berry for example, one of the prettiest black women in the world, short hair! And putting all you horse hair wearers to shame! So please continue stimulating the economy, you all look alike and its becoming really sad. I’ll continue to stand out amongst all the insecure bandwagons.

  47. @cakegirl i wsnt saying amber rose is a self-loving woman,what disturbs me is that her hair generates more hate than being a video ho,it takes more than natural hair to love yourself and being a lawyer dsnt compansate for self-love either….sistas teach your man to massage your scalp or help you wash your hair,men give incredible head massages and its a beautiful bonding experience dnt go for mentaly disturbed men who enjoy degrading black women,they are not worth your breath and energy,if you fully love yourself with your weave or natural hair,you will attract your almost perfect man.

  48. @Voice-don’t comment to ProudBeystan-her name says it all lol some battles let it go.

  49. i lied im not out. They kill me with tryna compare white girls getting weaves with us. The differences are too obvious 2 break down and i would belittle myself 2 state the obvious, but those with the patience who did it-thanks-

  50. @ Sho Ya Right

    I really don’t think we’ll get to an understanding. I wasn’t saying that black women can’t grow their hair down to their butts!

    I was asking the question rhetorically, because you’re saying that we weave wearers want to look like white women by wearing long hair, so why does that not mean the same for you? Either way, YOU WERE THE ONE CONNECTING LONG HAIR WITH WHITE WOMEN!

    I don’t think most women who wear weaves wear them to look like any other race. They wear them for cosmetics. Because they can and want to.

    Do you not wear heels and makeup?

  51. @Show Ya Right – I stated you were hateful and malice because you made a blanket statement of weave wearers not acepting themselves because of their hair choice and that is unfair. I also must apologize for the educated part. On my part that was unfair and down right rude. Your hairstyle is a choice, just like your clothing options. Folks know that these chemicals are harmeful, but if that’s their choice, then it’s their choice. It’s like half the crap out there people eat, it’s a choice!

    This is to everyone –

    The saddest part of this entire debate is we are yet again fighting amongst ourselves and the folks with the money are laughing at us all the way to the bank. Black Hair care overall, creamy crack, natural, dreads, weaves are a BILLION dollar business that WE have no part of! Everyone is so discontent about each other’s hair choice but that’s the least of our worries! Instead of looking down why not help each other to do better? Why don’t we see how we too can eat from this profitable business? Make choices within business so our people aren’t using harmful chemicals? To me that is most proficient conversation.

    Another topic for discussion, is how did we let a man beat us at make such a film? Why is Chris Rock doing a movie about “Good Hair” when I’m sure anyone of us ladies could have done it, and done it BETTER!!

    At the end of the day we are all the same natural, weaves, relaxer, whatever. Striving, holding our families down and doing our thing, let’s ban together instead of apart!

  52. I don’t mind people wearing weaves. What I don’t like is when female celebrities deny wearing it. I also don’t like it when celebs like Beyonce do shampoo/hair color commercial when we all know she wears weave all the time.

  53. I think it’s great that we are talking about this subject and a shame that a black man brought this matter to the forefront. Many are very ignorant regarding this matter and this subject is a sensitive one. I was talking to a friend today who said 9x out of 10 a black woman with long hair must be wearing a weave and that is just not true. I know sistas with long, natural flowing tresses. Another myth is that black men prefer natural hair. I was shocked to find after getting my first weave how much more attention I got from men. It’s not the hair on our heads that black men are interested in, trust me. I have been wearing weaves for about 15years and I love the versatility I get from a weave. I can be straight, curly, wavy or kinky depending on my mood. Right now I’m rocking kinky hair weave when I could just as easily braid my hair and take it out to achieve the same look but that still involves alot of work. Weaves are easier to maintain and you can hot curl, crimp, color and flat iron a weave to achieve different looks without damage to your own hair. I went from spending 1/2hr on my hair to 10 min daily and many sistas with long hair wear weaves for that reason as well.
    A fact known is that the kinkier the hair, the more fragile it is and has to be handled with care. The weave is a protective style for some that allows one to care for their natural hair while still having a trendy look. So much to be said on this matter but I will stop here but the bottom line is we should respect everyone’s choice to live how they see fit.

  54. Has anyone even seen Chris Rock’s documentary yet?

    I think weaves, wigs, whatever, is a fine option. But the questions that should be asked for each individual woman is:

    -Am I doing this for versatility or something deeper?
    -Do I truly believe I’m just as beautiful without a weave?
    -Can I walk with my head held high if I missed a hair appointment & need to wear my real hair for a month?

    If you said yes to any of those questions, then once again, DO YOU. You truly just love the options weaves can provide. But if you feel like you HAVE to wear a weave; when it becomes a need more than a want, then it’s sort of a problem.

  55. wow…i actually read all of this because i was in shock of some of the comments…

    !) for those who think people who wear weaves are trying to look like someone from a different race, or trying to cover up some insecurity…that may be true for some(and for those yes, it IS a problem). but these blanket statements are the reason we still have so much racism in our country. plenty of people wear weaves as a PROTECTIVE style, and many of them get the same texture AND length of the hair on their head, whether it be relaxed, kinky, wavy, whatever. those who know nothing about weaves should not be speaking on weaves. if you’ve ever been to some sites like the long hair care forum, or black hair media, that show plenty of black women teaching each other how to take care of your hair and nurture it to grow long and healthy, whatever texture it may be, you would know that there are A LOT of black women out there with long, healthy, hair that choose to wear weaves because it is protective. myself included. my hair is to my mid-back but i STILL wear weaves from time to time because I like to give my hair a break.

    ALL cultures and races do things to themselves cosmetically, whether dangerous or not. wearing weaves my friends should be the LEAST of your concerns. are you serious?!?! you want to uplift the black community and help our young black girls have higher self esteem…tell them to finish school, abstain from sex, drugs, smoking, tell them to get an education, tell them not to drink and drive, teach them about the wrongs of violence, tell them to EXERCISE, tell them to eat healthy, tell them these things that are SOOOOO much more important than the superficial issues of hair…

    please people…get a grip on life, there is a much greater epidemic in our black community than wearing weaves and the fact that this moot issue has stirred up such debate! my goodness. why don’t people talk about all the teens out there tanning that end up with basal cell carcinoma, or melanoma, things that can actually KILL you. or the epidemic of obese young children that will inevitably end up with some type of chronic life threatening illness.

    i think a lot of you are missing the point of this post. a woman’s decision to wear weave should not be this big of a deal. to the comment about having long hair and how it matters standing next to the girl with weave…did your hair get you into college? did it get you a scholarship? did it get you that job interview? does it pay your bills? will it take care of your children? NO! congrats to you for having long hair but BFD!! if you feel like you are better than the next female who has a weave then it is YOU my dear, not the girl with the weave, that has an inferiority complex. to think that something that superficial makes you any better off than the next person.

    i laugh at some of these statements. it really is a sad world we live in.

    to Chris Rock: do a documentary about the 15 year old girl with 2 kids and HIV…..or the 21 year old boy that lost his life because he was driving his motorcycle while intoxicated….or the 6 year old boy who weighs 215lbs and already has hypertension, diabetes, and heart problems….or the poor boy who was beaten to death during a gang fight. do a documentary about the things that MATTER!

    like India Arie said…”I AM NOT MY HAIR” long, short, relaxed, ‘natural’, weave, dyed, curled, pressed, WHATEVER!

    and to THIS nonsense here:
    “i rock the short cut and love it! I love standing out amongst the crowd of black women who have long jet black weaves. And I look better than half of them and spend less money than them. Halle Berry for example, one of the prettiest black women in the world, short hair! And putting all you horse hair wearers to shame! So please continue stimulating the economy, you all look alike and its becoming really sad. I’ll continue to stand out amongst all the insecure bandwagons.”

    not only did you add NOTHING to this discussion, its ignorant comments like this that really irritate me.i could just as easily call you a broke down rihanna wanna-be…or a bald-headed chick who wears her hair short because she can’t grow it long….

    but i won’t.lol

  56. Man! what I can’t understand is why are so many of you hurtful w/ your comments? You have the right to your opinion, but WHY make the next man feel like shyt? Do you think that the anger or hurt in some of your comments are going to make those who like to wear weaves think differently? Those ladies will only become defensive & the battle horns will be locked & no one gets anywhere where. Once again there is bickering amongst ourselves over something that is up to the indivdual.

    As I have stated before, the beauty of our hair is the diversity in it. We are the ONLY ppl on the planet who can do the ALL the styles we do & still look hott! Why must we constantly put each other down over the choices we make about something such as… hair. At this point in stage most of the women who wear weaves & know what’s up w/ their scalp. It’s been established long ago about what SOME weaves can do the hair. If THEY choose to continue to do what THEY want to do to THEIR hair, there is nothing any1 can say. Put them down & callin the race traders( b/c no matter how you sugarcoat it, that’s what most of you are sayin) help the situation. Just chill out ppl & let ppl do them.

  57. @Fashionista

    There is no need for you to continue to debate w/ some about your hair choices. As I said earlier, as long as your hair is healthy & you like your style.. do you dear. As India said, you are NOT your hair. It does NOT define who or what you think of yourself as a woman better yet a BLACK woman. Don’t let the mere OPINIONS of STRANGERS disturb your nerves. GOD gave YOU the hair & it’s totally up to YOU what you want to do w/ it & NO one else.

  58. typos:

    Callin THEM race traders*

    Will NOT help the situation*

  59. @ FLYDR. your point on how we shouldn’t concern ourselves about hair when there are other things ailing our community is really besides the point. It’s like the person who disregards her headache to focus only on her diabetes. Yes, the diabetes is important and needs to be addressed, but so does the headache. I don’t think anyone on this post is arguing that black woman’s infatuation with weaves and creamy crack is the only thing that concerns our community. You brought that false argument into the conversion, so I’ll let you continue with it. Nor did anyone argue that naturally long hair aided in the pursuit of an education or otherwise. That’s like me asking you did your weave get you into college or did your weave get you a job. Of course not. Your focus on the irrelevant has rendered your rant just what you accused others’ statements as doing: ADDING NOTHING TO THE CONVERSATION.

    Wake up sistahs… we can do better.

  60. @RUSERIOUS and @ Angela kinky hair might not be the same as white women hair, how ever i add hair because i would like the way it look, just like whites add hair becasue they like the way it look. so if you have no hair on the side, you have to just walk around like that because that is being natural? so you are suppose to walk around with a bump on your face and not use face cleaner because thats being natrual? so you are not suppose to wear make up beacuse thats not being natrual? shut the heck up….. just because you want to wear your hair a certain way dont mean you dont like your self. You may think you look better in one sweater vs another, so that mean your not happy with your body because you dont like the way one shirt fit? SO if WHITE ppl wear weave its ok because they hair is ok, but if a black person do it, its wrong because they have kinky hair? YOU judge blacks, YOU put blacks down! You want all to feel like they have low self esteem because they change they hair around. Girl please. Just like whites, blacks change they hair because they want to. You need to stop judging blacks. How you know the reason whites dont do it becasue they have low self esteem if that the case? You the one with low self esteem for blacks. we dont need none becasue you have it all for us. lol. If you dont have low self esteem how you know that that is the reason ppl put tracks in they hair. Did you interview hundreds of black ppl? So I take it, you were no make-up or not anything right, becasue you have to be natrual? Shut up. Say wat you want becasue I’m not responding….You need to stop judging your own race fools> you might as well be white too

  61. Most aa chicks wear weaves because they are insecures with themselves and trying to buy into the white stereotype that’s the truth! i’m mixed and i grew up with sisters telling me how much my hair is good, and how they were jealous, but my hair is not that good!aa chicks are insecure and it translates into the type of music you listen/support, your hair, your comments, everything you touch, learn to love whats under that weave and then it will be fine to wear the horse hair

  62. i love how people use celebrities and their lives (examples) to categorize and establish themselves. it’s like looking up to them, to define your self worth. SMDH. it says a lot about this country, and its only in America that you find something like this. we need change people. change. look at the real world.

    sho ya right, you couldnt have said anything better. it is sad that one cannot express their opinions without being trampled upon. seriously? especially when you are speaking the truth. its so irritating, because theses are the same women who like to go off about LOVING and ACCEPTING yourself for you you are, and realizing your self worth. duh… a HUGE part of who you are is your hair as a woman, that is why it is a topic. if it was not we wouldn’t be having a discussion about it.

  63. flyDr. WOW. everybody should have just shut up after that comment. that was some serious knowledge. next post—>

  64. and flyDr. i meant these comments

    “you want to uplift the black community and help our young black girls have higher self esteem…tell them to finish school, abstain from sex, drugs, smoking, tell them to get an education, tell them not to drink and drive, teach them about the wrongs of violence, tell them to EXERCISE, tell them to eat healthy, tell them these things that are SOOOOO much more important than the superficial issues of hair…”

    “please people…get a grip on life, there is a much greater epidemic in our black community than wearing weaves and the fact that this moot issue has stirred up such debate! my goodness. why don’t people talk about all the teens out there tanning that end up with basal cell carcinoma, or melanoma, things that can actually KILL you. or the epidemic of obese young children that will inevitably end up with some type of chronic life threatening illness.”

    “to Chris Rock: do a documentary about the 15 year old girl with 2 kids and HIV…..or the 21 year old boy that lost his life because he was driving his motorcycle while intoxicated….or the 6 year old boy who weighs 215lbs and already has hypertension, diabetes, and heart problems….or the poor boy who was beaten to death during a gang fight. do a documentary about the things that MATTER!”

    good job.

  65. I love everything about what you said.. church.. preach and tabernacle LOL.. and you really aren’t even being bold with you 14 inches! Trust me there’s a word of length whores we know nothing about!

  66. It saddens me that the discussion has taken and ugly turn like so many other discussions we sisters have. Can we try to have a discussion without the harsh criticism that doesn’t promote respectable and debateable discussions. Sisters lets pull ourselves together

  67. “Unless your hair is the texture of brillo pads, it is not unmanageable. Get educated on how to care for YOUR hair (not the hair you bought) and experiment and embrace what you have. I know too many sistahs who literally wouldn’t be caught dead outside with their natural hair. That’s a problem. And anyone who thinks being ashamed of who you are is OK has a problem as well.”

    If y’all don’t get this then we are doomed… =( KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!! Waitin’ for other people to tell you how to take care of you! And white women and weaves have nothing to do with the REAL subject at hand. They weave the same NATURAL texture of their hair into what they’ve already been blessed with…straight hair.

    I don’t even think the writer of this blog is old enough to remember when natural hair was more the norm, so it’s not your fault! 70’s babies STAND UP!!! I worry about the little girls that grow up and feel like they are not “good enough” because their hair doesn’t flow down their backs…as black women raising black women, YOU HAVE TO GET IT BEFORE IT’S TO LATE. NOBODY THINKS OF CHILDREN THESE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  68. I don’t believe white women or any other ethnicity, weave their hair to the extent that black women do…I’ll bet the baby on that one!!!!!!!

  69. i already suspected the others, but OMG Teyana Taylor wears s weave?!?!
    I really though that she was some lucky balck girl who inheritted her hear from some a white ancestor…

  70. AT THE END OF THE DAY ITS ALL ABOUT WHAT MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE, IF U LIKE WEAVES AND IT MAKES U FEEL GOOD, THEN GOOD ON YOU, IF YOU LIKE THE NATURAL LOOK THEN GOOD ON YOU TOO, ITS YOUR LIFE AND YOUR HAIR DO WITH IT AS YOU PLEASE. NOONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BELITTLE ANOTHER PERSON FOR THEIR BELIEFS, YOU HAVE YOUR REASONS FOR LIKING NATURAL AND I HAVE MINE FOR LIKING WEAVES, IT DOESNT MAKE ME LESS BLACK IN ANYWAY, BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY WHEN THE WORLD LOOKS AT US THEY SEE NO DIFFERENCE ITS JUST HAIR AT THE END OF THE DAY. HONESTLY THIS WHOLE DEBATE IS POINTLESS, BECAUSE WE ALL DO WHAT MAKES US HAPPY AND FEEL GOOD AND THATS WHATS IMPORTANT. THATS WHY OUR BLACK COMMUNITY HAS SO MANY PROBLEMS, WE SPEND SO MUCH TIME JUDGING EACH OTHER, FOR WHAT? WE NEED TO LEARN TO RESPECT AND ACCEPT EACH OTHER FOR WHATEVER WAYS WE CHOSE TO LIVE OUR LIVES. ONE MANS MEAT IS ANOTHER MANS POISEN. I AM FROM AFRICA AND WHERE I COME FROM, WE HAVE SO MANY DIFFERENT TRIBES, SOME CHOOSE TO LIVE IN THE CITY AND DRESS MODERN, WHILE OTHER CHOSE TO STICK TO THEIR NATURAL ROOTS AND WEAR TRADITIONAL ATTIRE, SO AM I LESS BLACK OR AFRICAN FOR CHOOSING NOT TO WEAR TRADITIONAL ATTIRE? SAME THING WITH OUR HAIR, YOU DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF, SO HAVING A WEAVE DONT MAKE U LESS BLACK OR FAKE, BECAUSE IF THATS THE CASE THEN, I COULD EASILY SAY ALL BLACK AMERICANS ARE FAKE BECAUSE THEY LIVE THE WAY THE WHITE MAN TAUGHT THEM TO LIVE, AND DONT BOTHER STICKING TO THEIR AFRICAN ROOTS SO THAT MAKES THEM WHITE WANNA BE’S, BUT THATS NOT TRUE NOW IS IT. YOUR AS BLACK AS I AM JUST BECAUSE WE LIVE DIFFERENT LIFESTYLES AND HAVE DIFFERENT BELIEFS DONT MAKE U LESS BLACK OF FAKE.

    ITS ABOUT TIME BLACK WOMEN LEARNT TO RESPECT EACH OTHERS CHOICES, AND ACCEPT ONE ANOTHER THE WAY WE ARE ALL WEAVED UP OR NATURAL!

  71. Wow! This really is a great read! Black women and their hair is a segment in its self. I have been wearing weave pretty consistently for the last 8 years and yes, I loved it. I love wearing my hair long with big bouncy curls, long pony tails, up like a ballerina..I mean I love it. However, I am on a different patch these days…I have no problem with black women doing it up when it comes to their hair. I am more of a stickler for sophisicated, jazzy styles you know, very lady like and I consider my self to be one of those hair types. Lately, I have been more focused on getting my own hair healthy b/c it was not before. I have my weaves done properly now so that my hair is growing and healthy underneath. For the last 15 months, I have chosen to go natural so i have no relaxer and I love that I am doing this. My hair is growing like a weed so before you know it, my own hair will be flowing down my back lol! I love weave and I plan on rocking a sew-in here shortly just b/c its easy, if done right its healthy and its just less stress on my own hair.

    We as black women are lucky that we can rock weave. White women want extensions so badly but for the everyday white woman its a little more difficult for them to maintain and its extremely expensive. We need to stop critizing each other. Just like the article reads, white and hispanic celebritis rock nothing but weave…Hardly ANYBODY in hollywood is rocking their own hair honey trust me.

    I adore Tyra and I understand what she was trying to do..Young girls need to learn to be happy with who they are and understand that you dont need hair down your back to be pretty, I get that. I think alot of young black girls especially feel that pressure b/c of TV images etc…we need to change the preception and say no matter what you do, be true to yourself and know who you are with or with out your weave.

  72. black women…take that stuff out your hair…you look stupid…

  73. Broke down rihanna? Lol. Ok. I CHOOSE to wear my hair short. I like standing out from women like you who feel horse hair makes them beautiful! Lol! My hair grows really fast actually, which is why I’m always in the shop having to get it constantly cut because it grows out of the style so fast. You can call me all the names you want. God is good, life is good!

  74. @ FLYDR,
    Oh yeah, I find it so funny that because i have short hair you associate me with Rihanna, which is actually a compliment, so thanks! You probably want short hair but dont have the face to rock it, so you hide behind horses hair to cover your insecurity. Typical.

  75. White people don’t have this problem because there women can care less what the next bish is doing with her hair. They don’t tear one another down like we do, and the same women who are pro power are the same ones who will go lay up with somebody husband. Child please you only have one life to live. Live it the way you want to. And don’t worry about what nobody has to say, the reason why black people will forever be held back it’s has nothing to do with weave, but everything to do with the way we tear one another down.

    And white woman stick together, they can care less about becky. but black women want to tear one another down and stick there nose up because of HAIR? Such a shame, you will not go to hell wearing weave so at the end of the day God sees nothing wrong with it and he’s the only one who can judge.

  76. I’m a 21 years old french woman and a fifth year law student and I am proud to say that I wear weaves , I don’t feel insecure because my weaves DO NOT define who I am but my dregrees DO, so sorry if some of you think that women who wear weaves are insecure or have a serious lack of self esteem but that ain’t true ! Seriously some of us shouldn’t be so quick on judging others I mean everyone has the right to do what they want and even if some women wear weaves to feel better about themselves is that REALLY a crime ? seriously can we focus on something smatter than hair ? ! It’s just getting ridiculous !!! Merci et bonne soirée à toute !!!

  77. these people just need to admit that they like how we are versitile w/ our hair, how we can cornrow it, wear extensions the next day, take it out and wear it short like rhianna, and tomorrow wear it like beyonce, we can twist our hair into dreadlocks, braid it up, or let it our freely!, and wear it as an afro. people need to get off our backs about our hair. this movie and this hair discussion isn’t going to change how i feel about our hair. i’ve always felt great about my hair, no matter how i styled it.

  78. @sky, you are so correct.
    HOWEVER, when was the last time many weave wearers wore their hair in the various styles you described? Because versatility isn’t wearing the same 14 inches of silky hair month after month. To me, versatility is switching up the style, which is hardly even done. Just say you want & enjoy longer hair, end of story.

    I also find it interesting to read this quote by Shantee:

    “Not everyone is blessed with having gorgeous hair…”

    what exactly is your definition of “gorgeous hair”?
    (disclamer: This is NOT an attack, don’t get me wrong…just curious)

  79. Girl I LOVE this post!!!!! I wear weave too Shantee and I dont have too but honey I’m a diva and I like to change my look up on the regular!!! People knock me all the time and I tell them that “my” opinion is the only one that counts and if I want to wear weave… I’m wearing it!!!!!! You go Shantee!!!! I feel ya!!!!

  80. @sho ya right..if you didn’t understand what i was trying to say with my comment, then that’s too bad. because it was very clear. if my patient comes in with high blood pressure, diabetes, acne, and a necrotic toe…hmm…i wonder which one i would treat first…not the acne..its not life threatening…its not the most important…therefore without attempting to treat the other IMPORTANT issues, i’m not worried about the acne. i’m sorry that you don’t get it. i’m sorry that you continue to put other black women down because of something as superficial as a weave, as if black women don’t already have it hard enough. kudos to you for adding to the problem in our society.

    and Angela, the point of my comment was say that i could just as easily group every black woman with short hair in that category, but i know better. you however continuously talk about the “horse hair” wearers.lol. does it make you feel better about yourself to say you’re prettier than someone you’ve never met, never seen, and know nothing about? if so then by all means continue to believe what you want. But please stop with the ignorant comments.

    “Broke down rihanna? Lol. Ok. I CHOOSE to wear my hair short.”

    just like you CHOOSE to wear your hair short..other black women CHOOSE to wear a weave. so let them make their choices. I can never understand why people feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better. and you call me insecure? ok.

  81. omg @ AFRICAN QUEEN. you took the words right out of my mouth, i have nothing to say, I totally agree….

  82. @Frankie kate-Wow, i don’t know if ur being sarcastic or genuine, but wow!!!

  83. HAS ANYONE ANSWERED M THOUGHTFUL QUESTIONS IN HER POST?? THE ANSWERS TO HER QUESTIONS WILL TELL IF UR BEING TRUE 2 URSELF OR ARE SOME 2 SCARED?? PROBABLY 1 OR 2 RITE??-FIGURES

  84. HER POST IS FAIRLY UP ON THE BLOG BUT ANSWER THEM, WHY NOT? SOME OF YA’LL MIGHT BE SHOCKED AT THE ANSWERS IF U ANWERED TRUTHFULLY.

  85. @ RUSERIOUS have you ever thought that that was a question one was suppose to ask self, not write for you. you suck

  86. @all about me- u suck?? Poor child!

    Now those that say we got bigger issues ur right? Cuz if you got horse hair, natural, ir ur black or white,short or tall, pretty or ugly, they gonna try 2 herd u like cattle to FEMA CAMPS. We got bigger issues like MANDATED VACCINES THAT HAVE TOXIC THAT CAN PARALYZE YOU, MARTIAL. oh my bad, we ain’t supposed to talk bout stuff like that only radical white conspiracists theory people talk like that. Im sorry i c a sheeple mentality on here, and when NWO come the sheeple will be herded for slaughter.

  87. YEAH, we got bigger issues alright. Forget this hair nonsense. Start putting up blogs about the governent’s nonsense, our rights being consistently taken away by this government. Does any1 know that people are being FIREDS from health field jobs cause they won’t take the swine flu vaccine, but OBAMA and the government tells you its not mandated but if you don’t take it you can’t eat??? I luv it. This swine flu is a man made pandemic to cause chaos so they can institute MARTIAL LAW. wake up. Brownsista start putting up this kind of stuff too. We can talk about the fun stuff, but why not politics, cuz i guarantee there will be some brownsistas in fema camps. STOP WATCHING THESE STARS WHO DON’T CAR BOUT YOU AND WATCH THE NEWS(OOPS THE MEDIA IS CONTROLLED 2, THAT’S WHY PEOPLE THINK THE ECONOMY IS RECOVERING) LOL. u BETTA EDUCATE URSELF SOMEHOW, INTERNET, BOOKS, I DON’T KNOW. iTS AROUND THE CORNER.
    OK NOW U CAN GO BACK TO UR TOPIN ON HORSE HAIR AND SELF-ESTEEM.

  88. RUSERIOUS. Oh my God i told my mother the same thing. “This swine flu is a man made pandemic to cause chaos so they can institute MARTIAL LAW. wake up.” America will always find a way to cause chaos for their nation, so that they can be seen as bringing us “together” or make us believe that they are in control of a situation, and can somehow solve it. when in the first place they created the problem!!it is all bull. all of a sudden the other day on the radio they said that people who take the swine flu vaccine, are 2 times more likely to get the swine flu. what the hell is that about? i will not say anything about Obama, because despite (whatever), i and proud. but seriously do you really expect these people to talk about serious issues??? theses people who come on here defending stupid insignificant celebrities, who are part of Americas problem??? they have nothing to add i.e ALLABOUTME “@ RUSERIOUS have you ever thought that that was a question one was suppose to ask self, not write for you. you suck” and the name says it all.
    I’m just happy someone here can see the bigger picture.

  89. you guys are right about the big picture, how ever is this a post about what y’all talking about??/ NOOOOOOOOO if it ones then we would be commenting on our thoughts of the swine flu. Is it important? Heck yea, how ever this is a web site on black sistas. If you dont want to talk about it, then why ar you even on the site. Thats like going to footlocker and mad because they dont sell food. lol girl bye

  90. lol and the sad part about it is, yall both are in previous blogs commenting about celeberties too, lol yall need to go find a politics web site, not saying anything is wrong with talking about more important things like “swine flu”,because my mother has help me to believe its a scandal too, how ever im just saying this web site is not about that, so the correct thing would be to say brown sista you should make a web site about this too, because clearly this is not a web site on those types of things.

  91. so why is it wrong that we are commenting on hair (which you also comment about too) if thats what the heck the post is about? lol ok bye for real

  92. First of all, RUSerious, could you stop making the “Fema Camps” reference, please. (WTF is a Fema Camp anyway? *insert eye roll here*) I live in New Orleans and some of my people are still in “Fema Camps”, not to mention, the effects of living in such conditions are literally killing people. I don’t take any reference to the Fema experience in a joking or light-hearted manner. If YOU had to depend on the Fema experience for your existence, you’d understand…think before you speak. Outside all the other tomfoolery you spittin’ on this blog, that is the most vile reference you’ve made. The last time I checked they were many political blogs for you to leave all of your conspiracy theory rants on, you don’t have to come to a beauty, entertainment (i.e. non-political) blog and tell people what and how to post what THEY want to talk about…it’s obvious to most, I’m sure, that there are bigger fish to fry in the world but today BROWN SISTA want to talk about black women and their hair…

  93. wow ignorance. i think the point RUSERIOUS is trying to make is that there are also other important issues in the world besides celebrities and hair. yes this is a blog for black women and things that concern them, like beauty, fashion and co. but last time i checked, black women are a part of the population. the swine flu affects black women also. the decisions that the government makes affect black women everyday.
    why should the blog be constantly filled with superficial topics only? there are not many blogs catering to the AA woman out there but this blog should cover more socially conscious topics (you know things that are important). cool there is now an AA Disney princess after how many lifetimes, but how the hell does that help us…?
    BTW FLYDER made the same points too.

  94. It never ceases to amaze me the dumbness that comes out of people’s mouths when they can’t force others to feel the way they do about certain issues. TUTU if you want more serious discussions then why don’t you seek out such a site and stop whining about the way things are done here. One of my first daily stops online is Media Matters and Huffington Post. I also have a few forums I hang out on as well that tackle all types of issues. This is a lil ol’ celebrity blog and you knew that when you first came here and when you continued to come back. If what is done here isn’t to your liking then leave. In the meantime this topic is above hair weaves and your topic is not.

    Take it somewhere else.

  95. I knew this discussion would take an ugly turn. It didnt take long for the birds to come out. I honestly think yeah, it would be nice if Black women stopped altering their hair and started wearing their own. But seriously who cares ? If she does it out of self-hate thats her problem !! If she does it cause she likes it like that, thats her problem not yours.

    I honestly dont know why other feel the need to try downgrade someone cause of how they style their hair.
    Its not your damn head. Worry about your own head.

    Why is what someone else does to their hair a problem to you? How is it hurting you? Is money coming out your pocket ? Are you in anyway being used or financially burdened by it ?
    If you cant answer yes to none, then what Black women do their hair is none of your business. Yes, lots of black women are insecure about their hair. But its up to them to change the way they feel. Not you, or downgrading comments.

    And the oh so perfect “naturals”, aren’t so damn confident as they want you to think. Lots of them have curl envy issues and wonder why their hair isn’t as curly or kinky and the next natural. Lots of forums have ignited with dumb women arguing on why someone else colored their kinks or why the next girl straightened hers. So save it.

    It also bothers me that there are SO MANY more important Black women issues to talk about, that everyone seems to ignore.

  96. For once lets talk about Health issues that challenge black women, and our single moms raising black kids alone.

    Fake Hair isnt gonna stop the high Black on Black crime rate.
    Fake Hair didnt save Derrion Albert(RIP).
    Fake Hair isnt gonna stop the high HIV rates among Blacks.
    Fake hair isn’t gonna stop young black teens from having raw sex.
    Fake Hair isnt gonna stop Black students from faillng behind in scores.
    Fake Hair isnt gonna stop our fellow sisters in Congo from getting raped.
    Fake Hair isnt gonna stop young girls in East Africa from getting their genitals mutilated.
    Fake Hair wont end killings in Darfur.

    FAKE HAIR is not gonna stop the world from going round !!!

    A lot of things important are going on in the world and I doubt HAIR (dead cells) is one of them.

  97. how do black celebs get their weaves done so it looks completely like their own hair and you cannot tell they got weaves?

    i get a new weave every couple of months but my real afro hair is left out at the top to cover were the weave starts and you can see the difference in hair texture and color.
    And i thought thats the only way the weave could be hidden but celebs dont look like they got any of their real hair left out to be hiding their weave.

    please someone tell me how its done my real hair just ruins the weave because firstly it doesnt look natural and secondly its hard to get my real dark hair coloured to match the colour of the weave

  98. Black women wearing weaves is controversial because they are ERASING (ERACING) their RACE. Hair is a genetically (i.e. racially) hereditary trait. And when black women wear long flowing weaves, they are effectively telling the world, “I’m part white.” That is the truth. You do not grow that hair. It is not racially yours. You erace your race when you wear it. Just be happy being black. Be proud, not embarassed. Make white women look up to YOU for YOUR BEAUTY. When you wear weaves, you give them the assurance that white is beautiful. Is that what you really aim for? It’s what’s being done.

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