Women Who Hit Men

Mary, Mary, Mary. I somehow thought that with all of the growth you exude that you had come farther than What’s The 411? Sad to say that Mary and her temper that she was once known for early on in her career have struck again. There is much speculation as to why Mary struck her husband recently but my point is that who cares what he did. It is never okay for anyone to put their hands on their significant other in a violent manner. Especially if they do not want that violence reciprocated. Let’s be real, most women do not want the violence reciprocated and I am sure that being a previous victim of abuse, Mary would not have wanted that either. Some men will allow their woman to hit them repeatedly and refuse to hit her back. Then there are some women who are not that lucky. Mary has admitted to being in violent relationships in the past. She has even admitted to seeing her Father beat her Mother. Perhaps there still is some debris left from her past that she needs to handle. At any case, resorting to violence is usually never a solid decision. I’m not taking any a** whoopings so I’m not giving out any.

What is interesting is that when females comment about Mary hitting her husband they do it in a jokingly, triumphant manner. Similar to “girl she knocked the s**t out of him” or “Girl, I bet he won’t pull that s**t next time unless he wanna get the shit smacked out of him”. It is as if her behavior is somehow being excused by women because one she is Mary J. Blige and her primary target audience is women and two she is a women. I’m seeing double standard written all over this. If that same violence had been demonstrated on Mary from Kendu chicks would be rallying up for the million woman’s march for Mary. Are we really that limited and immature in our thinking that we will make excuses for Mary’s behavior when we know that if the tables were turned the same leniency would not be applied? How many of you laughed at Tiger Wood’s wife attacking him raise your hand?

I know that double standards exist in our society but domestic violence is so serious because all it takes is one wrong hit or punch and you could possibly injure the person for life or cause other irreversible consequences like… I don’t know.. Death!

I understand that sometimes some men can be simple minded. Trust me I know. Lord knows I know! They can also make foolish, avoidable mistakes HOWEVER, that should not warrant you the right to violence. Same as it does not warrant him that same privilege. I am a fond believer of the do on to others as you would have them do on to you principle. So I try my damnedest not to put my hands on anyone, man or woman unless I am prepared for the possibility that they might put their hands on me. Chances are, if it is a man, I won’t be too thrilled about it. In fact in most cases, unless I know Jujitsu or Karate he might cause me more bodily harm than I would cause him.

What say you ladies? Is it ever acceptable for a woman to smack her man around? Or does the threat of you knucking and bucking depend solely on the offense he committed? If a woman does strike first then should she expect for her man to strike her back at some point? If he does then is he in the wrong? Just wanted to spread some food for thought. Think about it and EVERYONE- Play Nice.

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28 Comments

  1. I agree with the author of this piece. Love, respect and honor is a two way street. It was not right when Chris,OJ or Ike did it and its not right when Mary did it. She doesn’t get a pass because she is female. Assaulting another person is a legal and moral crime, not to mention an immature and ignorant way to resolve a conflict. Mary needs to check herself. Class is not wearing high priced designer gear and living in a mansion. Class is a high social standard reflected in your thoughts, decisions and actions. And, this was not a good look on the eve of your cd release to the public. SMDH!

  2. She made a mistake. Have we forgotten that these stars are HUMAN. i appreciate the article tho.

  3. You’re right that women should not be excused for domestic violence but lets keep it 100… when men hit they hit ten times harder. If a woman is giving her husband a slap because he cheated then I don’t see the big deal. But a man punching or hitting a woman is gonna cause damage every time.

    But like you said, if a woman is gonna hit a man she better be prepared to get hit back.

  4. I WILL ADMIT, I HAVE PHISICALLY ATTACKED MY BOYFRIEND A FEW TIMES.
    BUT I REMEMBER ONE TIME I FOUND HIM IN THIS LIE. I STARTED HITTING HIM AND GOING OFF AND HE TURNED AROUND AND GRABBED ME AND PUSHED ME IN THE WALL. HIS EYES WHERE COMPLETELY BLANK AND HER PUSHED ME AGAINST THE WALL AGAIN.I WAS SO SCARED, THAT I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE. BUT THEN I REALISED ALL THE TIMES I DONE HIT HIM, WHY AM I MADD.

    U DONT DO TO PEOPLE, WHAT U DONT WANT DONE TO U…NOW WHAT IF I BEAT HIM SO BAD THAT I PUT HIM IN THE HOSPITAL…GIRLS WOULD BE CLAPPING. BUT IF HE PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL…..JAILTIME

  5. This story Is gettin’ blown out of perportion I seen the little video footage It looks like they were havin’ a ”argument” you don’t see some sho’ nuff beat down of Kendu busted up or let alone Mary niether….please let’s not make this into a chris brown rihanna stance….whatever the case maybe It’s not acceptble period to fight one another out of anger iT’S not going to make the relationship better it makes It worst

  6. For me the scariest part is that she attempted to provoke him to retalliate by asking if he was going to “Chris Brown” her.

    Something is SERIOUSLY wrong in that relationship and in the overarching American society.

    There IS a double standard that allows women to verbally and physically abuse me. In my opinion a female abuser has the same thing in common with a male abuser, its about POWER.

    Mary and Kendu need to seek professional help if they want to squelch this problem.

  7. “For me the scariest part is that she attempted to provoke him to retalliate by asking if he was going to “Chris Brown” her.”

    MARY, MARY,MARY….CHRIS BROWN HERE…A DAMN SHAME..

  8. @lmao-yeah, a big one, but it was a mistake. Listen can we be done with the crucify Chris Brown. People lose they cool, if its that serious, Kendu should leave her but since it isn’t. move on. THere was no blood, black eyes, or broken bones. Just like Rhi should’ve when Cris 1st hit her, but from what i heard he should have left HER the 1st she hit him.

  9. Thank you signature barbie. This ain’t utopia, but MAry was wrong for the Chris brown remark. you can take the girl out the hood, but not the hood out the girl Well since she claim she know Christ and i do believe she does., get them knee pads and get 2 praying. It does wonders.

  10. lol, not trying to discredit what you are doing, but funny, and real shady how you post this now after how many days of the MJB incident. when CB hit Rihanna, before we could say jack robinson, everybody was calling him ou. the shows and whatnot. smh at these double standards

    however it is not right to hat anybody regardless of who you or who they are. i think we all know that. just some people dont agree with it…

  11. @tutu what chris done was more than hit rihanna. He hit her multiple times, choked and bit her, and punched her in the face till her mouth filled with blood. So to try to justify his actions with what Mary did was so off base. Mary shouldn’t have hit her husband and chris shouldn’t have beat down rihanna, so I agree with you on that part. You all may not know what Mary mean by that statement. Kendu may have been beating her ass in private, so she called him out in public to see if her would dare do it there. There could be more to this story than we know.

  12. Why are we all so quick to judge someone. She has come a long way and this one incident does not take that away. We as Christians are all works in process and we all fall short of the glory. I pray for them and hope whatever it is they are going through will work it’s self out.

  13. Honestly I have extremely quick reflex and when some people have hit me before I know it I’m swinging back, but I’ve learned to kinda control that a bit over the years. The unfortunate thing is that I don’t think this is the first time they’ve had a physical altercation, but I could possibly be wrong. Either way your disrespecting someone if you hit them and they haven’t touched you in a similar manner. The only time you need to beat somebodies azz is if your defending yourself bottom line.

  14. umm… WHATEVER thanks for the reply. however i was not justifying CB’s actions. read my post again. or maybe it’s not clear enough since i wrote it in a hurry and there are so many mistakes… what i was commenting on is the quickness of this report, or post or whatever you wanna call it.i feel like (and correct me if I’m wrong) this post is just coming out now, and i know this incident happened a least on Wednesday, maybe earlier. idunno. basically nobody jumped on it like they did CB and because MJB is a female it is somewhat excusable in our society blah blah blah….you know how it is. but yea I’m not condoning what he did in anyway. the media is so hypocritical that’s all.

    BTW i think MJB should get some serious jail time or at least community freaking service!!! just saying.
    An eye for a damn eye.

    (thats if it was thaaat serious)

  15. Physical violence is never EVER okay in any form. Unfortunately a lot of us have learned that violence is okay if you are angry, want to get your point across or as an act of discipline. It is never okay to put your hands on another person in a violent manner..point blank. Like one of the other coments said…when you hit someone just be prepared for it to come back at you. When it’s an act of defense then I say yes protect yourself. If Mary hit him, she was wrong. As adults we should have a much better command of the english language to be able to make our point without throwing blows. What that shows is that you have lost control of your emotions and the ability to verbalize and it should never come to that. I don’t agree with violence in any form, I don’t even hit my kids because I don’t want them growing up believing that the only way for them to express themselves or to get what they want is to hit someone, and I definitely don’t want them growing up believing it’s okay for them to be hit by anyone. It’s just not okay.

  16. I am glad you wrote this…because women are forever crying the victim!!! My brother dated a beautiful woman drop dead gorgeous! She was very abusive mentally and physcially he was so caught up on her outer beauty that he did not see how damage she really was When my brother finally hit her trying to defend himself criminal charges were filed against him! It was my brother fault for allowing it from the start.

  17. Men get off Mary we heard 3 diffrent stories ull wasnt there a lil video that dont show really nothing and ull making a big issue like its ull issue get a life…………

  18. I agree hitting someone whether male or female is NOT ok. Ppl need to learn other ways to express themselves. BUT @ the same time I think it is wrong that Mary is being put in the line of fire for this topic ( I say this b/c the article goes into direct mention of her @ the top). Once again, I don’t see anything in the supposed video of her hitting her husband, of her ACTUALLY hitting her husband( hey the video was supposed to be the hit in motion). What you see is Mary in a argument w/ Kendu & then another guys steps in & THAT guy is REALLY all in Kendu’s face. In other words there is STILL not solid proof of the incident. All of these ppl claim to have saw it, but all that have is a shady video( that really shows nothin, but arguing) to prove it. YES hittin & other types of abuse is wrong, but it is also wrong to lie & accuse ppl of something when there is nothing to prove/show it. Rhianna had her proof ( pics) & her call to the cops to show that what she said did happen, but w/ this situation we really have nada except for ppl claiming to have seen it. There was something for ppl to see & then they had the right to choose & go in on Chris if they decided to. I DO believe that Mary’s husband DID get into a altercation w/ her BROTHER & that was of course upsetting for her. My thing right now all we are dealing w/ is heresay, until someone shows me EXACT footage of when & how she hit him or police reports, I am not going to go in on the lady. However is if she did do what so many claim she is DEAD wrong for it.

  19. My mom always told me “if you’re old enough to hit, then you’re old enough to get hit. She never said anything about gender. That’s how I live.

    The part that stands out it how she tried to push his buttons with the Chris Brown remark. This implies she did do something to him.

    Put your hands on me and I’m gonna knock yo’ a– out. No discrimination.

  20. That Chris-Brown remark was classless and tacky (not to mention the actual action of shoving/pushing/hitting/whatever).

    I just don’t know what to make of this. I find it shocking mostly. These are A-lister celebs acting like this….I’d expect…better? LOL.

    Great article to the OP.

  21. The really sad part of this alleged incident is that we don’t know what really happened and the video isn’t compelling enough for a guilty verdict in my opinion to equate Mary to Chris Brown, etc. This reminds me of the movie “death race” instead of inmates, it’s with celebrities…they’re not gods, just people.

  22. thats not very feminine at all,we dnt need the angry black woman stereo type,i know its double standards coz white people found it cool with Elin.

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