Brown Sista

[quote comment="7968"]My subconscious alarm went off and I got that feeling “that’s all they want is a white girl..I don’t have a chance”. [/quote]
This is the feeling I think a lot of Black women get when they see Black men crossing over. We all have our fantasies about famous men and we would all like to think that we could possibly stand a chance of being with this person- no matter how school-girlish that may seem. And as sistas see these famous men one by one cross over- it leaves them feeling rejected and “not good” enough, no matter how pretty or smart they may be. It saddens me to see us this way. For far too long we have been taught that we are not pretty enough, hard to get a long with, too Black, too fat, too short, too tall. But the truth is Black women are as desirable as any other race of women but many people, including our own men have gone to great lengths to keep us from believing that. Sistas need to wake up start realizing their own self worth. The two women who write those blogs are trying to get us to do just that.

There is nothing wrong with sistas dating outside of their race, and if it results in love, marriage and a happy family then I’m all for sistas who do so.

If Bush wants to date Kardashian, it is his choice and who gives a flying hoot? I’ll bet my morning coffee she will be on to the next guy before summer officially begins anyway.

Daniele#2 dating that chick does not in ANY WAY diminish my beauty, intelligence and attractiveness to my husband (and if I weren’t married or dating, then my appeal to men in general). She is attractive, but so am I and I don’t need a high profile black man to validate my appeal.

Stephanie,

Took the words right out of my mouth. Just wanted to thank you for that, lol. I get caught up in the gossip blog nonsense all the time. It’s nice to come across intelligent “real talk”. I think as black women, we feel like we don’t have an outlet…Reading the writings and comments on this site really brightened my day.

I think Heather looks nice and her hubby looks funny. But is she’s happy cool. I don’t see a thing wrong with this couple. I’m sitting here with my boyfriend and he just said. Wow she sold out. Two diffrent views.

im all for everyone being happy so if thats who they want to date then go right ahead. if i want to date outside the race, i would expect the same respect.

that being said….i dont have a problem w/ brothas dating outside the race…i just have a problem with brothas becoming the stereotypical black athlete. get the contract, get the money, get the big house & nice cars, and top it off with a white/latina/asian woman. its like they get amnesia and forget the sistas when they hit the big time! all of a sudden, sistas are invisible to them. but b4, thats all they dated! im not outraged or angry, its all just absolutely hilarious to me now. i cannot help but laugh b/c these guys become the punchline of the most strerotypical jokes.

but as i said b4, they should do whatever makes them happy. and i dont want their decisions to make black women feel less appreciated & beautiful. we are all beautiful creations & no matter who “our” men date, that will never change. look at it this way….obviously, that brotha isnt the one for you!

Third time trying this.

I agree with Danielle. We are beautiful sisters and ALL MEN WANT US. We are the most beautiful on the face of God’s green Earth.

(I hope this comment sends/saves)

We do have options. Trust, KK will be on to someone else next week.

“That’s all they want is a white girl. I don’t have a chance”.

Well, that’s how I feel most of the time, “that’s all they want is a white guy. I don’t have a chance”. I see the most beautiful black women with white men; it’s not overtly an issue but I often think that type of woman only dates white men. As a man that exclusively dates black women, when I’m in social situations with interracial couples (white man, black woman) I often feel the most subtle competition, between my self and the white male; our education, our finances, our bodies, our style. I feel like I’m representing all positive successful black men that choose black women among all others. When I speak and actually have something intelligent to say, or make an intelligent joke; there’s the slightest pause in the conversation, “wow, he’s actually smart”. I then notice the black women in the interracial couple look at me like she thought my kind were extinct, and then with in the same glace dismiss my existence as the exception that proves the rule. As a black male under 30 I’m suppose to be dead or incarcerated but I’m alive, kicking and doing well; so are a lot of us. The first time I lived through this very awkward but interesting scenario I thought it was an isolated incident until it happened again and again, then again.

I have to be honest, when I see sites like those mentioned in this post I feel like the black man has messed up things so much our women are giving up on us. We’ve allowed the image of the black man to be manipulated to the point our counterparts believe what they see on television thus not giving a positive black man a snowball’s chance in hell. I can’t speak for all black men but I know I’ve worked hard to be the “IBM” specifically to attract successful black women only to find that those women aren’t really checking for me. And I’m not attracted to women that are attracted to material wealth. I’ve been ignored by beautiful black business women until they’ve seen where I work or what car I drive. I don’t get the benefit of the doubt, but she’s smiling at this white guy that I know works in the mail room. Now if I worked in the mail room would I get the same treatment? It seems like white male equal success while black male equal unsuccessful; it’s brand perception.

The bottom line, do what ever makes you happy and enjoy life.

Brown Sistas, I love You.

Who cares who Reggie Bush dates. If he dates someone that will put out a porn tape of themselves, let someone p*ss on them, do oral sex without no condom then and get payed off for it is trash theirselves. Furthermore, he doesn’t have any type of respect for himself to mess with something like that. Also any descent man that have respect for themselves wouldn’t even mess with trash like that. As they always say trash will follow trash doesn’t matter how much money you will have. Besides Reggie probably thinks this will bring him more press time anyway. What makes that even worst men and women are laughing at his stupid dumbass.

As a White Male…let me just add that I TOO think that Black women are the most beautiful women on the planet! and I don’t just mean on the outside. I appreciate black women for all of their wonderful qualities.

[quote comment="7999"]Black people need to encourage black love [/quote]

Black Love? I don’t even know what that is. Honestly I believe it is nothing but a slogan used to keep Black women tied to Black men- even those that do not want them.

Many Black women dream of that Black Love thing but will never experience it first hand. What they will experience time and time again is rejection from their own men which is why sistas are in mourning over the loss of Reggie Bush.

Yet another brotha has crossed over they are left feeling “not good enough”. This not good enough feeling is one many sistas have struggled with but don’t have to. If brothas don’t want sistas or only want them until something else better comes along, then sistas need to start looking at other options.

Brothas have been doing this for years and trying to stop sistas from doing it too won’t change a darn thing. We can’t save the Black race by ourself so we need to thinking about saving ourselves.

all i want to say is white women have step there game up and the sistas, as always, are still trailing behind, even though you may have education now and making a little money but who do your men run to us!!!. they cant have a ghetto acting hoodrat on there shoulder @ the business meeting, they need some a soft spoken, straight hair baby doll to compliment the deal. its the american dream, watch a black man, pay him no mind through his struggles days but when he makes the big bucks still in his circle. weed out all the “sista” and lock him in. date him long until to get married and a few kids and then leave him with the money and find another one. there are plenty of paid black men out there and believe me once they get to a certain status they are no black women around anyway so you dont have to worry about the stupid and jealous looks.
check the stats we got quincy jones, kobe, ice t, cuba, tiger woods, should i go on???

You really shouldn’t have taken this post off the front page.

Black Love is the most beautiful thing in the universe especially with in western culture where we are bombarded with messages that tell our subconscious otherwise. As to Down Brown’s point I completely agree, but there will be a percentage of Africans in American that will continue to create African American families, contributing and sustaining the culture of the “black family” and there are those that won’t. Like global warming, most people won’t admit there’s a problem until it’s too late. Even then some will argue if there is even a problem at all. But each race has those that understand the importance of sustaining a particular culture; and those that don’t.

A sista’ will argue tooth and nail that their temporary straight hair is in no way related to a European standard of beauty. Yes, it’s a style, but it’s a European style that you have to put dangerous chemicals in your hair to obtain. Some get it and some don’t.

And why can’t my sistas see that Reggie is a sucka’ and Kim is a prostitute; let us move on. Instead let us focus on those celebrities that have used the millions they’ve obtained to invest in Black Love.

100

check the stats we got quincy jones, kobe, ice t, cuba, tiger woods, should i go on???[/quote]

Bwahahaha! You didn’t take them, we gave them away, lol.

I need to ask everyone a question… Why are such hypocrites?? We denounce racism yet we ourselves encourage it in such threads. why is it anybody’s business who Reggie Bush dates and what their ethnicity is. If the roles were turned and this was a white thread we would be appalled. Many sisters are just as flaky. When it’s a black man and a white woman y’all are up in arms. But when it’s a black woman with a white man y’all are ecstatic. “Good for them” etc. i love black women buy many of y’all need to love yourselves.

[quote comment="8027"]Are my eyes deceiving me as I read Barbie’s post?

Oh goodness folks, here comes another prettyparker rant :dance:
.[/quote]

:banana:

[quote comment="8033"] and the comment about being me not being white and hiding behind a name do you think yall mean that much to me –what ever [/quote]

Yes barbie, I do mean that much to you. I mean so much to you that you continue to read my comments and respond via the brownsista.com website.

Doll, you sought this article out by opening your web browser and entering the URL. No one invited your negative opinion and failed attempts to insult the beautiful women in Hollywood or on this post.

I’ll stick with my first assessment of you and reiterate you are not a white woman. So take your self-hate and post elsewhere or accept your envy of our brown sistas and move on. Either way, step!

LOL speak on it Prettyparker !!!

Wow, come on now “Barbie” you probably aren’t white, you’re just on here trying to start drama to satisfy your own empty life. But let’s say just for the sake of conversation that you really are white. If white women had such universal appeal then why are they always getting their faces injected with botox, their breasts stuffed with silicon, and their lips plumped up? Why are they constantly going to plastic surgeons asking for buttock implants? Face it darling, your race is chasing our God-given features, and not matter how much it pains you to face the truth, it really is clear as day. So the next time you want to sit up and brag about how “universally appealing” you are, think about that plastic surgery bill you’re probably paying off. If you think about it “Barbie”, most races are actually flocking to be more black. Look at the music industry, everyone’s chasing after that hip hop flavor born from OUR culture. So darling, look at facts and trends before you roll up in here thinking you’re dissing ANYONE, because you’ve just made yourself look like a huge fool. And LOL @ you “taking our men”. Small minds these days..small minds…

As far as Reggie dating Kim, who cares? Like some other posters said, he has absolutely no validation on my life or how I feel about myself so he can do what he wants with who he wants, and whatever consequences come, he will have to just deal with them.

I’d just like to say that love doesn’t just happen within races, it crosses color lines as well as culture lines, and if a black women wants to be with a white man or vice versa then so be it. I don’t think it’s fair to automatically assume self-hatred and abandonment of one’s own race. I think that the way black men are portrayed plays a big part in us turning away from our own counterparts and seeking men who will protect us and love us for who we are instead of how our jeans look on us. I for one wouldn’t want a man who only loves me for the way I look, and calls me a B and a H, no matter what race he was.

I have no problem with interracial dating or marriage, but if we really want to encourage black love in a healthy fashion, I think our entire standpoint on life should change. Sex shouldn’t be the only thing couples are together for and abstinence should be practiced until marriage IMO. More respect should be shown not only to ourselves, but to our partners, education should be stressed in the household, that way stripping or pushing drugs isn’t the only job occupation expected after high school. Also, having better control on our children is a must to prevent them getting into gangs and other illegal activity. These are just a few things I think our race should actively work on IMO. Cleaning up our overall image would be another.

dismiss me pretty parker you are getting besides your self and who don you queen to speak for everyone on this bloq, and you ask the question if i can create complete sentences, their always has to be a loud mouth on every bloq trying to speak for everyone. you need to sit on your hands for a while better yet put as much effort to getting any man i dont care of he is white black or green but you have to much time on your hands i would like to hear from other black woman on this bloq but of course their has to be 1 in every crowd trying to dominate the whole discussion. get a l;ife and stop over posting the board i bet more would like to hear my point of view then yours @ they can get an outlook on how white woman you and sick of it yall need to go to angry black woman.com or help me find a man.com.
thats it for me folks i like a good debate but this childishness is coming out of her and i dont want her to break her neck typing .. ill be back tom

[quote comment="8041"] if you argue with a fool he/she is doing the same thing [/quote]

Danielle, truer words have never been spoken. I’ll take your daddy’s advice.

[quote comment="8045"]lol.. my bad it’s just kind of hard to look at the positives when the negative posts just ring out in your head. But you’re right that comment I made was out of place. It’s nice to see people trying to squash these self destructive attitudes.. We all need to unite and support one - another. We’ve been through enough as it is.[/quote]

Awww, Ken. You are cooler than cool. I was preparing myself for a negative response, lol. But I am so glad you were able to take a look and see what we are trying to do here, lol. Have a great weekend!

check the stats we got quincy jones, kobe, ice t, cuba, tiger woods, should i go on??

DANIELE, I COULDN’T HAVE SAID IT BETTER DON’T FORGET WESELY, DENNIS RODMEN, & TAYE DIGGS…WHITE CHICKS CAN HAVE THESE UGLY-AS SELF HATING BROTHAS…MOST BLACK MEN DATE WHITE WOMEN BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU’RE WEAK, BOW DOWN EASY AND WILL DO ANYTHING IN THE BED…THANKS FOR TAKING OUT OUR TRASH!!!

all i want to say is white women have step there game up and the sistas, as always, are still trailing behind, even though you may have education now and making a little money but who do your men run to us!!!. they cant have a ghetto acting hoodrat on there shoulder @ the business meeting, they need some a soft spoken, straight hair baby doll to compliment the deal.

BARBIE, WITCH PLEASE! YOU CALL LINDSEY COKEHEAD, BRITTANY, PARIS, NICOLE RICHIE, AND KIM K., OLSEN TWINS STEPPING YOUR GAME UP…YOU CALL BLACK WOMEN HOODRATS WHEN ALL THE POPULAR WHITE CHICKS IN THE NEWS RIGHT NOW ARE CLUB HOPPING COKE HEADS, ANOERXIC, JAIL BIRD, TRAMPS…HOW ABOUT THAT PSYCHO ROSIE ODONELL SHE REPRESENTS WHITE WOMEN REALLY WELL…AND YOU’RE RIGHT BLACK WOMEN ARE BECOMING EDUCATED AND MAKING MONEY THATS WHY WEAK BROTHAS RUN TO WHITE TRAILOR TRASH WOMEN BECAUSE THEY CAN’T HANDLE A REAL WOMAN!!!THEY PREY ON DUMB WHITE CHICKS WHO THINK THEY GOT ONE UP ON THE SISTA’S WHEN ALL YOUR DOING IS BEING A GARBAGE DISPOSAL FOR US…THANKS!!!!

[quote comment="8040"] thats it for me folks i like a good debate but i dont want her to break her neck typing .. ill be back tom [/quote]

BWAHAHAHAHA, you didn’t walk away girl, YOU GOT SERVED!
:dance2:

i do agree that black women need to stop feeling less than worthy when they see black men with women of other races. even if white is reggie’s or any other black man’s preference, who cares. we are still beautiful and we are attractive and worthy of any man’s attention and time. i think that black people in general get caught up in the thinking that if someone crosses over for a relationship that they are selling out. i’ve come to realize that men are men and they will be attracted to a woman who is attractive PERIOD. it seems to me that black woman have more of a problem accepting that and moving on. we limit ourselves to only being attracted to black men for fear of their rejection. it’s time for us to start looking at a man (any man, regardless of race!) for who he is and how we’d like to be treated instead of limiting ourselves based on color. our men don’t care so why should we? when they cross over they parade their non black girlfriend all over the place. why do we as black women have a problem with doing that too? of course we will receive more backlash but culturally, black men have way too much of a say in how black women live their lives. they think we shouldn’t sell out because of the way that whites have done us in the past… well i’m sorry but historically, african men have been treating women like property instead of partners forever. multiple wives anyone? trade your daughter for a donkey? cut off your daughter’s genitalia maybe?

we don’t owe anyone a damn thing. do you and be happy.

my 2 cents….

@Lee,
Thank you for your posts, I agree with them 100% and I think it sums up everything perfectly. I think you and I are on agreement regarding the topic but your post is worded way better than mine lol, :oops: (I was grouchy when I wrote it..among other things). I also agree that it appears we limit ourselves to only being attracted to black men. This entire topic reminds me so much of that Sanaa Lathan movie when she dated a white guy and fell in love with him. “Just do you and be happy” ! I think that once we women follow this phrase, “do you and be happy”, we’ll find that we aren’t so outraged and beside ourselves about black men dating outside their race.

Again…I love this site…my concern is how all of these visual images affects the children. Some brown skin girls are definitely going through a race identity crisis. Did anyone see the video that a sista from New York made using the dolls? She gave the black children black and white dolls and asked them to choose which was was better, etc. She asked one pretty brown skin child which doll looked like her..and for a split second…this child was going to pick up the white one..but THEN she thought about it and then picked up the black doll…do you know what the ramifications are going to be for this child if she doesn’t start appreciating her skin….also…none of the kindergarteners want to use a dark crayon when coloring their personal protraits…I have seen 25 pictures of light skin children on the wall when the class is made up of a wide array of skin colors….

[quote comment="8170"]Tracey I do agree with you on that topic. I am a brown skinned woman with a lighter skinned mother. Actually 95% of my mother’s side of the family is light. I get my coloring from my father’s side of the family.

I’m sharing that to say that my mother nor my grandmother ever made me feel any differently than my sisters who are lighter than me. I was just as loved and praised as they were. When we shopped for dolls, my mom bought us all shades of dolls and taught us to appreciate who we are. My mom and dad were kind of hippie-ish. (Thank goodness!)

Unfortunately, some sistas don’t share that same experience. I think that in order for women of color to be proud of who they are and what they look like, it all starts at home. I didn’t start to feel different about how I look until (how ironic is this) I started dating and my preference naturally was for black men. I noticed that most of the black men I dated (or were friends with) were more attracted to lighter skinned women with long hair.

I didn’t understand what that was all about, I was always taught that I was beautiful. Needless to say I went through a serious identity crisis that I think still creeps up on me to this day. I had to seperate my own feelings about myself from what those men had a preference for. It’s a hard pill to swallow but once I did, my self image improved.

Please note: I’m not saying that all black men think this way. There are some black men who like it all and I can’t hate on that. :)[/quote]

Your story was very inspiring!

I’m so glad you learned how to find love with in yourself. That’s one of the best things I’ve heard today. A lot of women never ever find that.

LOL to ya!

[quote comment="8129"][quote comment="8122"]we don’t owe anyone a damn thing. do you and be happy.
[/quote]I just posted this in the other thread as well. Black women have been duped into believing that if they date out or seek their own happiness first then the Black community will literally fall apart. Well my first question would be why is the BC being held up by Black women only? Why have Black men been let off the hook? I’m telling you sistas, you have all been played lovely. I constantly hear Black women screaming about only wanting a Black man but how often do you hear the same from Black men? I don’t never hear that because they don’t say it or feel it. They are out for self and they’ll be darn if they let Black women or the very fall of their race stand in the way of that. Sistas must also learn that Black men want to keep your behinds alone and pledging your allegiance to them. That feeds their ego and gives them power. It also makes them look good in the eyesight of other races of women. Come on sistas. Wake up and peep the game that’s been played on you.[/quote]IR 12%bm 7%bw most brothas are with sistas like myself..

well well well ladies,
i see this topic is still going. im back i went to “our sites” but to be honest those chicks want to talk about lindsey and paris so i decided to come back to my “sistas” due to my relationship. for those who dont comprehend you are my sistas bec im dating a black man.in response to the question that s dot posted - i have not had to deal with that. im white and my boyfriend is black and to my knowledge he has not cheated. he has the best thing out there. yall know what i mean lol
:banana:

Another thing my friend said to me is why is Black guys always hurting me! I was just looking at her like “WHOW”.

I dont know if she love’s black men or hate them. But yet still I don’t want to deter her, but I do want her to heal.

Any suggestions?

^^

No I have tried to talk to her about dating white guys and she just don’t want too. Plus we all know, that she’s going to do what she wants to do anyway.

…Why would you get upset with me for repeating what he told her. He said he missed dating black women. I was just listening to her express all the HARSH WORD he said to her! Honestly I think she just got a bad seed. Because, my boyfriend said to me not too long ago this is his pattern. With women period.

All I can do is help her get out the house and get her mind off of him. When she with her other friend all they do is bad mouth him. Not me, I just let her get everything off her chest and cry because it just happened.

“im soo upset with you s dot bec i really thought you were a real sista but i see all the postive notes were fake all the lets build up the black community was fake. im not saying all this bec you are friend with a white woman dating a black man im saying this due to the comment above that i quoted from your post. sista you got a long way to go!!”

…Why did you say this? If you think I have a long way to go that’s fine. As long as God is giving me breath I will learn and I will be here for her.

I just don’t understand why he dated her in the first place? You know what thanks to me she’s not popping pills and going crazy calling him and everyone else. Trust me I support my black community, but I don’t hate on who people fall in love with. That’s not right or real. I have a man who’s mixed and our child is too. So I have to be some what open minded. I think her Ex was just an bad example and this is what women should just stay away from….Period… Bad Seed Men!

“if she was your friend she would have never said he miss dating sistas , she would have said he cheated on me.”

…BTW she “THINKS” and has her suspecion of him cheating. I know because like I said her ex and my man are friends and my man and I talk. But girl if she knew what all I know, she would DIE! Yes she’s my friend but my man comes first and he would be pissed if I told her! At this point she don’t need to know. So yes she’s my friend and she just repeated what he said to her.

To keep it real he was TO ME looking for a way out! He was as mean as possible until she had no ohter choice but to let him go. I’m just here to tell her she did the right thing because she isn’t a yo yo. She’s a women with a heart that deserves to be loved. So If that makes me a bad friend cool, that’s cool.

But last night she slept, ate and had a piece of mind! LOL S. Dot!

S.Dot like I said again I am not ignorant that’s you. I have proven to you that you need to get a life and stop putting others down. Have you ever heard of being polite and not putting others down when they don’t agree with you to get your point across? No aparently your mother failed to teach you that. So ignorant one it’s not about getting offended over you making the statement “who cares about color” it’s that when you made an ignorant dumb statement like that it left you open for attack. Apparently people still do care about color issues did you read the posts on the other topic. So to add insult to injury that topic made you look like an ***. You are a dense broad and I have met teenagers that are more intelligent than you. So no one is hating on you idiot you just have a psycho complex that you have something that everybody wants. And S. Dot you don’t there are many women out here that are far better and more successful than you. And a lot of them are yonger than you. So what have you been doing I guess you are not all that on point. You should be mature enough to know that. If you were so mature prettyparker would not have to tell you not to argue back and forth with people. If you were so mature you would not feel the need to get the last word. If you were so mature you would not use material means to try and look down at others. My dear that just shows a sign of ignorance and that you are not used to anything. Like I said before and I will say again you have proven me to be right that you are extremely ignorant,low class, and ghetto. You called people names in other posts and thought nothing of it because you some how think that you are special and you are not. You are a loser and you will never be anything until you change your mentality. so I will continue to dish out what you have given out and it’s not called hating baby it’s just calling as it is.