Brown Sista

any women who goes, deserves what they get. How can you have no regard for Black history. There are so many Blacks that have done so much for us….not only the MLKs and the Malcom Xs (I respect them too). But the great inventors! Our ancestors went through so much! How can they just disregard it all like this. I give it a huge

I agree with Cicily. The idea behind the party is pure ignorance.

I guess racial harmony doesn’t involve White men, just their women being made available to Black men.

[quote comment="21180"]Because they know how sensitive black people are. If 200 plus people comment/ whining about it, then yall will prove thier point. Believe it or not, but there are folks out that want to tick black people off, especially women. They get a thrill out out seeing you weep. Beat them at their own game and ignore it.

But yall won’t do it so continue……..[/quote]
This is true and I have seen it played out time and time again, particularly where interracial relationships are concerned and especially when anything is posted about Reggie B. and Kim K. This party however wasn’t planned to create an uproar in Black women. Black women weren’t going to show up alone or with a White friend. Parties like this thrown by rappers have been going on since I was 15. Right here in New York predominately Black clubs were known for having parties where the non Black women got in for free or half price or whatever. Things were low key back then and the point was simply to get more of the kinds of women the men who ran the club wanted. This party above had the same purpose. To have a large supply to White females (why not bring a White friend) that they felt their male club goers would want. This is why clubs have a Ladies Night, to bring in women which will in return bring in more men.

But like I said- I see where you are coming from.

Oh shoot Steph you from NY?? Me too, We need to get together sometimes :dance:

Liyah and Step what part of new york u from. Im from new york too upstate but i be in the city alot lol. We need to get up have some fun. Do brownsista up. We should have meet and greet.

Bronx, New York in the house- Pelham Parkway baby :dance2:

I live just up the street from that bad fire that went down last week. My sons’ babrbershop burned down

[quote comment="21185"]Kanyade the bonus is a neck job i think u know what i mean lol. That is a damn shame for real. It bad anuff they want to be like us. Hair weave, lip injection, big booty and tanning. For a brother that have a black mother going to throw a party like this. I would been in front that club boycotting like a mutha. I bet you alot of brother brung alot of them too probably found off the street or trying to bring one that look like coco ice t wife.[/quote]
I’m afraid I don’t know what a neckjob is unless I’m thinking of it by a ‘different’ name. Ha ha.

@ Dani

That pic of Barack in your gravatar is stunning. I find myself lusting after Barack for some reason these days

Big ups to you, sistas. For your courage and your strength throughout HISTORY I say, thank you. This is one black brotha who definitely luvs himself some JERMAIN CHOCOLATE CAKE, if you catch my drift. :koolaid:

[quote comment="21202"]@ the New Yorkers…….how often do you see celebs? :brownsista:[/quote]

I don’t see them that often b/c I don’t actually reside in the city (where they mostly are) I have seen some comedians; Damon Wayans, Todd Lynn. Fat Joe once!

At some point sisters are going to have to completely embrace our own self worth and realize that you truly are not LOSING anything when a black man decides he prefers white women. I have always believed that men who are disturbed enough to discount black women altogether, and express a preference for something other than themselves–should be ENCOURAGED to leave so that they don’t pass along their self hatred to our children and or inflict it upon black women. Smile at them and bid them “happy travelling.”

I

Nefertari, I totally agree. I love myself and I know I am beautiful. I work with some Dominican women and they are always saying how they think Black Women are ugly and look like a monkey. I can’t say all Dominican women are like that b/c I haven’t met them all, but I have heard that a lot of them think that way. What I don’t like is that I think they are trying to make me feel bad about myself, but it won’t work, my parents built me up at a very young age and a matter of opinion won’t change a thing about me.

Another Bronx baby here to represent. :banana:
As for meeting celebs I used to back in the day but no more. During the mid to late 80s I met a lot of rappers and singers who performed at local clubs like The Fever. But now folks don’t do local stuff anymore and they no longer live “on the block” so those days are long gone. For the longest time after LL Cool J became famous he lived and traveled throught Queens, same for Big Daddy Kane who lived in Brooklyn. We would see them everywhere. Now the minute artists get a deal they get up front money and move away.

JBL i move away too of i came into some money lol.

TO MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK SISTERS

YOU ARE THE ORIGINAL BEAUTY QUEEN

Sisters, You live in a country/society that has made every effort to strip the Original Man from his rightful throne and to degrade the Original Woman into forgetting WHO she is and how Powerful, Essential, Beautiful, and Necessary her presence is on this planet. We have been fed poison and filth.

In a society that judges men by wealth and power and women by physical beauty the blackwoman has been assaulted mentally from the day she is old enough to see. Barbie is the ideal for this culture, and this society has taught us and our men (and many of us believe) that if we don`t fit that ideal we have no worth as women. So in a desperate attempt to “FEEL” like women, many of us go to any length to get a man to see us as attractive.

**WARNING**(low tech flashing lights) A “man” who doesnt see your natural hair, beautiful skin, or voluptuous curves as attractive is one who doesn`t know himself enough to desire his throne in heaven on (the)Earth,(meaning, he deserves neither your time, your love,or to enjoy thepleasure of your body).

A Strong Woman is a BeautifulWoman; and What Woman shows more Strength in Adversity than We?

LIYAH HERE IS WHAT YOU TELL THEM You, black woman, are the FIRST woman. Science has finally confirmed what we have known for years. Every woman in existence can and must trace her existence, her beauty, her allure to YOUR mitochondrial DNA. Without your DNA no other would exist. Every woman from every standard of beauty owes that beauty to a woman who looked like YOU. A woman with thick curly kinky hair, beautiful full lips, voluptuous curves, and an “african” nose. Why? Because the first woman on the planet, and thus the first BEAUTY on the planet, was an African woman, and from her, all other people descended.

We are astonishingly beautiful in all of our shades from sultry deep ebony to rich mahogany to warm honey hues. Our natural hair, be itkinky,curly,or straight is beautiful when it is healthy and groomed. Our voluptuous curves have been worshipped and duplicated(see the historyof “bustle” skirts–or the present fact of silicone, butt implants, lip injections, suntanning, perms to curl straight hair, etc. etc. etc. )throughout history all over the planet. Our Standard of Beauty for centuries was THE standard of beauty.Our womanhood is the standard of womanhood. Always has been and always will be.

We have held our ground and built alongside our black men through unthinkable atrocities, through our own holocaust and we continue to do so. There is no woman in the world who is more beautiful than we. Know Be and Love yourself.

It is imperative, once youbegin to study and learn who you really ARE that you PROTECT your mind from the influences of those who benefit from your destruction. The most ESSENTIAL YOU is your mental self–your mind. If a person doesn`t respect your mind, and your right to be mentally FREE, ELIMINATE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE–preserve your mind.

1. GET KNOWLEDGE: READ a book about Black people ingeneral and black women in Particular. Begin tounlearn the lies you were told about yourself.

2.GET HONEST: Sit down and be REALLY honestwith yourself. What do you really want?Why? What brings you joy and pleasure? What do you percieve to be your flaws? Begin to think on it,examineit. Where is the falsehood? Where did thatt hought originate? Was the person/situation that planted the thought worthy of power you gave them overyour life?KNOW SELF so you can BE SELF.

3.Do You think your hair too nappy or too straight? Is Your skin too dark or too light? Are you too tall, too short,too fat, or too thin?

Nose too wide? too keen?

This is your flaw checklist, Look at it. WHO TAUGHTYOU THESE THINGS? Who made these rules? Who set the standard of beauty that you have allowed to define you? What makes them (the veryconfused individuals who taught you to hate yourself) theauthority on what YOU see as beautiful?

A)Begin a scrap book. Collect pictures of images that are positive depictions of blackwomen…collect article of Blackwomen who are accomplishing the things to which you aspire…FEED YOUR MIND THE RIGHT FOODS.

B) Pamper yourself, the works sis; long hot baths, pedicures, your favorite clothes, candles, anything that makes you feel beautiful…If you don`tlove yourself, how will you attract love to yourself?

C) Get Moving: Health, fitness, exercise, martial arts, weighttraining. MOVE your body. It will give you more energy, and combat stress.

D)Relax: Stress Kills…nuff said?

Written with more love for my sisters than you could ever know,

Very Truly Yours,
Nefertari

I feel you on that one liyah

NICE comment Nefe, about black women!

Damn nefe you be speaking the truth. Well said U alway make someone feel good about thereself. That one thing i tell people love yourself first if u do not, how u going to love your mother and father, your child and other people that important in your life. I see people but other people feeling in there way and they winded up getting lost. WE NEED A MEET AND GREET FOR REAL. GOOD ADVICE MISS NEFE

Yes im from albany new york i am 32 years old.

ladyfloatmaster@yahoo.com

Lady I’ll send you an e-mail right now, I will be leaving for work in about 20 mintues so if I don’t respond, I will later thanx

I knew I felt a NY Vibe up in here. Native New Yorker here !
Bring a white girl Night WTF, Any girl that attended was a dumb *** for going.

Whatever, the ignorant love to show the world their stupidity. It’s just another form of racism, and a bit of self-hatred which is the worst kind. People really need to take a look at themselves. I have no problem with interracial dating, but when people choose people of another race based on racist assumptions (Including thinking a woman of another race is better by default), it becomes a bad thing.

I met a guy who claims to date only black women but he himself is white. According to him, Black women have more confidence, are less needy, and are much more capable of taking care of themselves and their families because they’ll do what it takes to make things happen. Some people would go “Oh, that’s sweet, good guy.” Well, he’s just as bad if you ask me. He still assumes a lot based on skin color, and assumes a lot about women who aren’t black. I don’t like racism or prejudice no matter what end I’m on. The same way I’m straight but have little tolerance for people who are homophobic.

I have told women what I posted in an abbreviated form. Because of where I grew up, I have had friends who were non-black. In fact, they have been easier to meet than black women. Even those “friends” though have suffered from indoctrination that made them believe they were “better” than black women.

I have a good friend, she is biracial (black and white). She is a beautiful woman–not because she is half-white, but because she has pleasing aesthetics..looks like Vanessa Williams in my opinion.

She has, unfortunately, been surrounded by so many black people that hate being and looking black, that she believed when we met that all black women were jealous of her because she is light skinned with straight hair. I was amazed but she is very sweet so I chose to re-educate her rather than issue a mental smack-down. I explained to her that she cannot make those kinds of assumptions because the black people she has been exposed to–you know, the ones who talk about “wanting ‘good hair” and say “light-skinned” as though “skinned” is pronounced Skin Ded…. are not representative of all of us.
She said that she understood. I thought she did. Then one day she met a man who today is still a good friend of mine, but who at the time, was interested in me. He is a very attractive man, 6 ft 5, football player built, handsome…etc.

She was attracted to him and he told her that she wasn’t his “type”. She was very upset by that and confronted him in front of me asking him to explain what he meant.

He told her that he had a preference for dark skinned women and that he liked natural hair.
She became extremely angry….I was shocked! She talked about how he was wrong for saying that and that he shouldn’t have a “type” but should look at all women for their individual beauty. What shocked me was that this same woman had no problem at all talking about the men who complimented her for her non-black features.

I ignored her ranting…because I realized that he was a very attractive man and any woman would have been disappointed at his rejection and secondly because I realized that she (my friend) was suffering from a mental illness that society subjected her to…

Fast Forward 5 years. She met my husband for the first time, after not having seen or spoken to me in about 4 years. As soon as she saw him her face changed and she seemed sad. When I talked to her later I asked her why she had reacted that way.

She told me (I KID YOU NOT!) “You always seem to have finest men in love with you–and I don’t understand why its never me–I mean your pretty but your dark and have those dreadlocs–men don’t even like that–why don’t I have a man?”

I wish I had told her “because I’m the ****…” …but I didn’t..I just stared at her because I was too shocked.

I didn’t stop talking to her, but I did put distance between she and I. Who needs that kind of sickness around them?

My point is, the sickness is so ingrained, that a lot of women unconsciously suffer from it and I think it may be terminal…

@Majesa

Nope sis. I’m not awesome at all. I am a positive person, but I have some pretty serious issues. I’ve just been through enough trauma and drama in life to have found different ways to deal with them.

As for the woman above, I just really liked the sister, and I honestly felt sorry for her when I realized that she is suffering. Imagine how painful it must be to be told your entire life that you are “prettier” because of something as arbitrary as racial characteristics, and then imagine that you BE LIE Eve it with all of your heart–and it has become important to your self worth–

then you meet a woman who is the opposite of you in every way related to that racial characteristic, but the men that you like–think SHE is beautiful. If you are insecure then your next question becomes “so if she is beautiful, and she is the opposite of me..then am I not beautiful?) The real reason is because she doesn’t really know she is beautiful…on a deep level she knows that their preference is based on racial characteristics–and so its artificial. I think that it really shattered her self esteem, and I felt sorry for her.

At the same time, I don’t need people with that kind of illness around me. God knows Black Women and Women GENERALLY have enough things beating up on our self esteem everyday–the last place I need to have it come from is a friend.

I love this Blog, I’m all the way in South Africa, 100% african !!Reading that flyer actually made me laugh. I don’t think black women should feel disrespected at all by this, in fact if anything, it’s the white women that should feel disrespected. I mean, would it be OK if it was bring a black woman night??? No! Would you go? It seems that place is just a meat market and any woman that goes there has very low self esteem, they may as well wear a sign that screams I’M SINGLE AND DESPERATELY UNHAPPY - HELP!!! And we know how low self esteem self hating men loooove that! Really, we shouldn’t feel offended by this just laugh at it.

I have to take exception to your comments Steph and Cicily. I don’t think its fair to place the blame on rap. First, the guy is a DJ not a rapper, but secondly, and I think more importantly, there are very respectful and conscious rappers out there who aren’t disrespectful and don’t embarrass us. For instance, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, etc. There are also R&B singers Ahem…Robert KELLY who are just as stupid as a box of rocks and even more disrespectful.

I’m not playing devil’s advocate–I’m just a hip hop baby…and I hate that all hip hop gets a “bad rap” pun intended, because of the actions of a few.

Who the heck is this no-name guy anyway? I don’t think any known artist would dare risk losing his listening base over something like this. He is some dude who plays music at parties…a DJ, not a rapper.

Stef,
I have a serious crush on Mos Def. I don’t even watch him in movies anymore because I can’t take it.
Someday we will get it right (on that light skinned dark skinned issue). Its a little strange for me because my mother and aunties and grandmother’s etc were all african creoles. So they are all very light skinned.

My nickname growing up was “Ms. Chocolate” because my father wanted to make sure that I didn’t feel that because I was different, I was less beautiful. He and his whole family referred to me in that way. At the time, I didn’t even realize what they were doing or why, but It worked. But I have seen so many young girls who didn’t get that–and grown women…

The people who always say “oh enough enough about it” don’t really understand how destructive that history is to women.

My husband refers to me as “Chocolate” in his poetry book. He never uses my name. I always hoped that if we had a daughter he would do that with her so that she could get a good dose of self esteem as a child. It matters.

Yall missed the whole joke theme of the party. This party had NOTHING to do with blackmen wanting white women. If any of you researched Prince Paul or had ever been to his parties, you would know that he has a strange humor, and he actually throws parties that are FUN.

Hell, if any of you had actually read the entire flyer…

People who attend this and Prince Paul’s parties are of all nationalities, and simply have one thing in common - GOOD HIP HOP MUSIC BEFORE THE BLING and MISOGYNISTIC lyrics took over and made Hip Hop not fun.

SMH at 80% of you here.

Who in the hell are raising these boys? I have a young son and one of my goals is to provide him with a positive image of what a black woman should be. I try to carry myself in a way where my children can look up to ME and their father. It’s up to us to set the standards for every woman that comes into their lives. I have some friends that are really good people but tend to carry themselves in a way that reflect the sterotype (yall know I be trying to school them–and a lot of the time they get it). Believe it or not ladies our children are paying attention to everything that we do, the choices we make in life, and how we see ourselves. Let’s face it, there are alot of us women out there who are not taking care of business the way we should. Putting men before our children, staying in bad relationships, continuing to have children out of wedlock, unhealthy excess weight gain, our attitudes. These images on TV gives children a sense that other races are better. We can counteract this by showing them something better at home. I hope this doesnt come off negatively. Basically I am saying that if you are showcasing an unappealing image of yourself to your children specifially young men, once they get older they are going to try to separate themselves from that as much as they can.

Did anyone hear Akon on the red carpet for the Grammys? He was being interviewed by one of the host on E!–she asked him what was his ideal woman. He said, “it doesnt matter if she is short or tall as long as she have nice skin and good hair, kinda like you”. You know she’s white. I just sat there with my mouth open.

@ron art

Racially charged ideas are never funny–except to the insensitive people who are on the giving end of the insult.

My first response to you was pretty scathing and so I erased it. I erased it because I don’t make it a practice to offend or insult people without cause. As a civilized woman that is my responsibility towards other human beings. The party promotor is not exempt from the need to be CIVIL. Furthermore, the fact that he finds something like this funny, does not mean that anyone who finds it offensive, is wrong.

For instance, if I sat here and said all men who think that party concept is funny are obviously slow and should therefore be ignored, I would be offending a lot of men unnecessarily. You implied that any woman, black or white, who finds the party offensive, is being overly sensitive or can’t read.

Finally, if it is true, as you say, that the party promoter did not intend to give the impression that he obviously did give–then you should be “shaking your head” at him for being messy and incapable of discerning the way his advertisement might be perceived.

@Blacksista

You hit the nail on the head with that post.

[quote comment="21253"][Make] your flaw checklist, Look at it. WHO TAUGHT YOU THESE THINGS? Who made these rules? [/quote]

Big up! I’m going to do this.

[quote comment="21270"]WE NEED A MEET AND GREET FOR REAL.[/quote]

and we should bring a white girl! I’m just joking.

Prince Paul, the host of this party, is most famous for producing De La Soul’s “3 Ft High and Rising,” a classic (loosely) afrocentric hip-hop album. Now, he’s one half of Handsome Boy Modeling School, a collaboration with a Japanese-American DJ. They’ve released an album entitled “White People.”

I think he was trying to be satirical but honestly, it’s just dumb–and old. And it’s easy to be anti-PC when you’re not the one to be offended. But, you know, it’s just boring.

Now, the picture Steph posted of the Obamas, that’s the hotness. It’s actually sexy to me. (Roleplay: “baby, you be Michelle, I’ll be Barack…”) No seriously, it’s encouraging, the new (old) model. Who cares about a tired party flier, man?

With regard to my posts, I actually did not find the flier itself offensive. It did not surprise me. I am rarely offended by people who I think are not very bright…I know they can’t help it. But I do know that it was offensive to other black women, and that in discussing it, some women’s comments reflected the pain that is associated with a sensitive topic (black men and white women). I don’t think anyone has the right to tell another person “shut up, stop complaining…it was just a joke”.
If it hurts the other person, they have the right to say “ouch that hurts.”

There is a name for people who inflict pain on others and expect others to accept it without complaint–Sociopath/Psychopath/Borderline.

It’s not cool.

Hi Im new to this blog and i luv it! Im glad that this disturbing topic transformed itself into a positive discussion amongst us!